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Location: Hewitt, TX
Zipcode: 76643
Country: US
Zipcode: 76643
Country: US
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Shannon, I completely understand what you're saying about being tired of the fussing we go through to look acceptable. Up until a few years ago there wasn't a mirror I didn't love. But now I've gone au naturale as well. Discontinuing dying my hair a year and a half ago has mentally scarred everyone in my house, though!! lol. I'm 32 and have a head full of gray but don't have a wrinkle on my face to speak of. Jarring, visually. Goes against consumerist convention, definitely. Irritates my husband, you better believe it. He keeps offering to take me to Sally's to get hair dye. If I didn't really believe in what I was doing I'd find his words insulting. Instead, I have to remind myself that he's not on this journey, I am.
I also had a stint with wanting to control the locks. I even brushed them all out after 8 months in frustration! A few months later, though, I decided to let go and let everything happen naturally. A spiritual experience, for sure. I haven't regretted it once.
Don't beat yourself up for 'cheating' initially. From what I've been seeing so far even in my own hair, it's very forgiving. It'll change and remold itself over time that it'll end up exactly as it's meant to. And if you have some sections on the tips that remind you of that initial 'cheating' time then as your hair gets substantially longer you can always trim it off. Just make sure you leave pointy tips.
Thanks for telling us all about your journey!!!
Thanks, reading about your thoughts reminded me why I am doing this :]
But also, keep in mind, it has a lot to do with "why" you are choosing to dread. I chose it because I felt it was natural; it is how your hair will naturally become if left alone. And I was so tired of all the fussing women go through to look acceptable for society. I lead a natural lifestyle, I stopped wearing make-up so I would be in tune with my natural self, and my hair was meant to be natural as well. It is now, but I "cheated" to get it here.
I regret it because it goes in line with every mentality we have about knowing better and not doing better; and living in a society that is all about instant gratification. I started my dreading journey naturally because I no longer wanted to be a part of this consumeristic, superficial mindset, and my dreads were meant to be the path to get me away from all of that. I wanted to do it naturally, because I knew dread methods and salons were all part of instant gratification, exterior facades, and were harmful for the dreads. After 5 months or so of no dreads, I looked to these methods, and it detracted from the entire experience. I no longer can say I have natural dreads, or that I did the process entirely naturally. I have to explain that I used methods, that I bought into the look instead of the experience. I'm not sure if that makes sense. But the journey was very transformative for me, and I am in a great place now, but the journey certainly didn't happen the way I would have planned. I'm resolved with it now, but if I could choose, I'd rather have undreaded hair for years if it would eventually lead to 100% natural dreads.
Oooh, I'm actually in a similar spot. I decided to neglect my hair, but I am itching to give them a bit more shape by backcombing andpalm rollinga bit... why did you regret it?
Thanks ladies. I learned a lot about methods after the fact. I had rubberbands at the roots, which did help my roots to matte up into knots. I rubberbanded the shaft, but it didn't do anything, so I just took all of them out. I only had mild dreading at the roots and no where else, and a friend talked me in to backcombing them and following up with palm rolling. I regretted it immediately after doing it. But, I just stopped all the "methods", and let them do their thing. Most of it washed out, but I had sufficient mattes at the roots, and so it worked out well. I am resolved to just leaving it alone now, and letting it do its own thing. It took me awhile to just be comfortable with the whole natural process.
They are looking good! Don't give into rubber bands, I think they do more harm than good, because they rip out hair. Your hair will take time to dread, but just let it go free, mama! How do you wash it?