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Rhia Marie

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Location: Leesburg, VA
Zipcode: 20175
Country: US

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Blogs: 2
images: 13

Ohhhh goodness,

2012-04-18
By: Rhia Marie
Posted in:

I am so happy with my dreads so far. It's been two and a half months and I'm making good progress. My mom's finally accepted that the dreads are staying, but she pushes me to keep them maintained. Stepdad...not so much. I don't want this to turn into a rant or anything, but damn, he sees it as "a slap in the face to the creator" and says I'm "ruining the gift of beauty" I was blessed with. I don't get how people are so ignorant about dreads. They're not dirty, despite popular belief. I have no plans of getting rid of them any time soon, it's my choice, my body, yadda yadda yadda.

On another note, I'm so glad I found this site because I probably would have ended up with wax in my hair and that would've been horrible. My ex is stuck on wax and his dreads are all hard in the center and hard to maintain.

So, thank you fellow members for your much-needed expertise.

~Love, light & good vibes

Valérie
04/19/12 03:34:57PM @valrie:

There was a time when I felt the sting of my families perceptions on a regular basis and aside from making me angry, it always hurt me at my core more than I would ever admit.
I am a part of a huge catholic family and I am the oldest so the brunt of abuse lays heavily on my path but, looking back, I have different perspectives on it than I did at the time. I was criticized for piercing, tattoo, clothing, hair, having a child out of wedlock, and much, much more.
After a while I just stood back and took it in stride. For each negative comment I would just tell them that, "thank you for your opinion; I will definitely take it into consideration." and I would always tell them that I love them. Eventually the commentary was less and slowly many younger members of my family started to thank me because they were hiding who they truly were/wanted to be and decided to take my example and "come out" so-to-speak. :)

The only advice I can give you for your situation is to try your hardest to not let them get your goat. Arguing or escalation will only make things worse, in my opinion, and honestly, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs, regardless of whether they conflict with our own. Individuality is one of the most beautiful traits a person can have and eventually your family will come to realize that, in spite of your "unconventional" appearance, you are a beautiful person who doesn't compromise your sense of self. It just takes time and patience.

Good luck. :)


Tied up in knots
04/19/12 02:58:42PM @tied-up-in-knots:

"My stepdad is definitely one to flaunt his ignorance like an expensive accessory"

Do we have the same stepdad? lol...well..not really...it's not so funny. My stepdad has no idea yet that I am on this journey. It's going to be an interesting conversation but he should be in Alberta for another few months so I have time yet. :D

Good luck to you. If he's anything like my stepdad bringing him sources to back you up won't help you change his mind. I could be encyclopedias in front of my stepdad and he would maintain that his assertions were correct no matter what. Some people aren't worth fighting with. Better to learn to smile and nod and carry on doing your thing.


Rhia Marie
04/19/12 02:47:41PM @rhia-marie:

Exactly! My stepdad is definitely one to flaunt his ignorance like an expensive accessory. I guess I'm just kinda tired of it at the moment, but hey, I'm going to be dealing with it throughout the journey. Might as well get used to it now.


Tara C
04/19/12 01:18:53AM @tara-c:

Regardless of what god, gods or etc. you believe in, I don't see how anyone at all can see it that way. I mean, in the most basic sense, dreadlocks are what your hair naturally does if you do nothing to it. If it's such a slap in the face to the creator, why is it the natural state for our hair to be in?


☮ soaring eagle ॐ
04/18/12 11:35:34PM @soaring-eagle:

defunately should

alotta ppl are ignorant..and stupid

i had some dumbass on youtube the other day claiming that native americans and asiands cant dread naturalyand another 1 claiming if you have dreads u have spiders living in them..as if spiders car what style of hair u have

some people just are so ignorant that ignorance becomes their identity so they flaunt it..and if they didnt have their ignorance to draw attention to them theyd be nearly invisible..no personality at all

throwing around their ignorance gives them purpose


Rhia Marie
04/18/12 11:21:44PM @rhia-marie:

Yea, it would be awesome to see the pics. I'm just not sure how someone can be ignorant about dreads when they've been around forever and each culture has derived different yet similar meanings. I think I'll do a little research about native americans and dreads just to present to him.


☮ soaring eagle ॐ
04/18/12 11:10:51PM @soaring-eagle:

ah i see

well in that case wankan tonka (translate to whichever tribes language he uses) would appreciTe the naturalness of dreading

not to mention in the 1800's several chiefs warriors etc etc wore dreads im guessing especialy medicine people

i wish warrior princess didnt leave she had a awesome colection of pictures from that period


Rhia Marie
04/18/12 11:03:08PM @rhia-marie:

SE I have to agree with you. I mean he's religious, but more in the traditional native-american way rather than biblical. Still, I imagine native americans can respect the belief that the knotted hair keeps energy within the body. Long hair has always been valued and represents qualities of a warrior or a strong person. I don't see how it would make a difference if it was knotted, braided, or brushed. If anything, he's the one who needs to let the value of vanity go.


☮ soaring eagle ॐ
04/18/12 10:50:38PM @soaring-eagle:

by creator i guess hes a religios type?

explain to him that the bible states the nazarirtes are the holiest ofg the holy the only ones worthy of entering heaven and speaking directly to the devine

and its specificly because they wrent wrapped up in the vanity of beauty and vowed to let the hair dread any ol way it wanted

in fact the re are many who believe jesus had dreads and joseph is known to as well as john the baptist and samson were they slsapping the creatirs face? the rastas believe that jah rastafaria was the incarnation of the holy spirit and was the inspiration for the rastas movement and pipularity of dreads so at least 2 out of the 3 parts of the trinity thingy had deep respect for dreads if not ghaving dreads the other part nobodies ever seen so who knows but hes often pictured as a long haired beareded dude so most likely would have dreads too in realirtty

umm your stepdads

over importance on beuty sounds kinds\a creepy..


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