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Panga

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RANT - Family members views on dreads

2011-11-11
By: Panga
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My hubby's grandma (Honey) is very outspoken on her opinions, no matter what the conditions are. Since I started this journey, she has been against it and has said some pretty stupid/ignorant/harsh things. I have tried to ignore her, but have struggled with it. I have been told by my hubby that its just better to ignore than to discuss or argue on most topics.

Honey has said many times she doesn't understand why I would do this to my hair (even though I've told her in length about why I'm doing it). She says things that I allow to bother me. I shouldn't care about what she says, but sometimes its hard. The main thing I want is her to just drop it and mind her own business. But telling her that hasn't worked.

Just a few days ago I was picking my daughter up at her house and we were talking about my munchkins hair. Her hair is super curly and wavy. Honey was saying how when she was younger she wished she had hair like my kiddo's but she had long straight auburn hair and had such trouble trying to think of things to do with it. Then she made a few comments about how the color of her hair was what mine used to be like, before I did this to my hair...That my hair looks "dead" and has lost the pretty color. That mine also smells horrible. But now she wants to know what the hell I put in it to make it smell so bad. That my hair used to be so beautiful and now I've ruined it.

That set me off. I was so furious she would say this to me (and in the company of my 4 year old). I tried my best to stay calm and said that my hair is the same color it has always been, that my hair doesn't smell, my hair isn't "ruined" and most important that I think I am beautiful so that's all that matters.

And she shut up. End of conversation. I left the house with my daughter about 5 minutes later (my daughter was pulling on my arm trying to leave).

The only thing I was concerned about was the smell. That bugged me. Did my hair really smell? Here I was telling her it didn't, but what if it did? I don't want my hair to make people think that all dreadlocks are smelly and give them proof! I've since asked my co-workers and my hubby about the smell. They say they can't smell anything. And yes, I had a few of them come up to my head and take a big sniff of my locks, which was kinda awkward but no one complained!

Long ass rant later, my pride in my dreads is stronger. I love the journey I'm on. I wake up every morning feeling the crazy new additions/changes. And man, that felt good. To just say "I am beautiful" and believe it. I honestly don't think I could have done so prior to dreads. I am only 4 or so months into this, but I have grown more confidence than I have done so in years. :) If she brings up my dreads again, I'll just tell her exactly what I think : I am beautiful inside and out.

☮ soaring eagle ॐ
11/11/11 11:26:01PM @soaring-eagle:

not only can you say to her "i am beautiful and i am happy" but you can also say "the ugliness you see in fact the smells you think you snmell are all in your head' and "adjust your perception you can choose to see beauty or u8gliness in the naturwe around you in the autum leaves you can see the world turn to color and beauty or you can see death and decay you choose to see what you see i choose to see beauty"


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