My story

Hey all, I'm Mary. I guess the term I've gracefullyfallen under, after years of confusion and being scared and nervous,is bisexual. It's funny to me that people have gotten the idea that every girl who claims they're bi is only in it for the reaction of others or that they aren't really into girls, they just like to kiss them, more often than not in front of guys. I come from Utah where the majority of people are Mormon and look down on homosexuality so growing up knowing that I was a little different scared the hell out of me.

I first kissed a girl when I was around 4 and she's still to this day my best friend and since then, I've been attracted to girls. My other girl friends and I would play house and I would be the guy and when I would play with barbies I would always have two girls be the moms of the house, even though I didn't really know that the 'right' way was to have a mom and a dad, it always seemed normal to me.

I made out with my first girlfrined Angela when I was 6 or 7 and still didn't know that same sex relationships were 'bad' and when we got caught by her mom, we got into some serious trouble and I still didn't quite get what the problem was. I guess it was just that we weren't supposed to be doing big girl things at such a young age so that's what I figured we had gotten in trouble for.

While in elementry school, I never understood why I was more ok with hearing kids use the insults butt hole and saying shut up than I was when I heard someone say gay wad, fag or lezbo. It wasn't untill Jr high when I made friends who were very different from the regualr mormon cluster and we all became very open with each other. They were the first people I ever told I liked girls but I made them promise not to tell anyone and they didn't. In 8th grade I started going to counseling for cutting and in there told my counselor that I was bissexual and that other people were finding out and I was scared about what people would do or say. She advised me to tell my parents (about the cutting and being bisexual)and after crying about what they would say and think of me, I told her I would. I went home and told my mom about being bisexual and she told me that it might just be a phase but not in the ignorant, 'No, you're NOT gay, you're JUST curious" response, but she told me to keep my mind open and that's what I did. After talking about it she told me that I needed to tell my dad becasue if people were finding out at school, there were chances that my young womens group would call and say that becasueI like girls, I wasn't allowed there or something like that and that it would be easier for me if I didn't have to hide something like that from him. I. Was. Horrified. My dad is a very strong minded republican and is strongly against gay marraige and becasue of that I thought he was against gay people so after telling that and more crying to my mom, she said that she would go and talk to him so I didn't have to. 20 minutes later my parents came to the livign room and my dad hugged me and told me that I'm his daughter and nothing in the world could make him live me any less. I'd like to take this time to say that I love my amazing parents!

My mom was right about getting it off my chest and talkign about it. My dad also thought (and kind of hoped) that it was just a phase becasue a lot of teenage girls do go through that but I knew that it wasn't, but I let them think whatever they wanted.

After that I wasn't as scared of people finding out becasue I had my friends who loved me for exactly who I was and if anything happened that made me upset about anything, they would be there for me.

When I got into high school, I made a bunch of new friends and met my girlfriend Chelsea. Later on that year (10th grade) our group was harrassed by somone by throwing a carton of chocolate milk that had been sitting in a locker for weeks. It was thrown from the second balcony into the middle of the circle that we were sitting in and exploded all over us. We never did anything to anyone and the only thing that we did that would show were were gay was I would walk my girlfriend to class and kiss her before leaveing. I guess people had a problem with that...

Whatever though. I've come a long way since realizing that I was bi and now I'm SO happy with my life and am happy with the friends I 've made and relationships I've had. And I'm also happy to sya that my parents support me and my lifestyle and my mom (who is a very strong minded DEMOCRAT) walked with me on Temple Sqaure in Salt Lake City to protest Proposition 8 in 2009.

God I love my life.

Anyway, that's my story. I hope to hear anyone else's.

Peace and love to all!!