5/15/13
I have always wanted dreads. Mostly out of vanity, because I love the look of them, but also for other reasons I couldn't quite put my finger on. So, 8 or so days ago, I went to a salon to get a consultation for a stylist to put in dreads for me. I was quoted a price of $125 an hour. I made an appointment (I can't believe that at that time I was willing to pay that much money) I am ashamed to admit that, but I now realize was a part of this journey that was supposed to happen. Anyway, I then I decided I didn't wanna wait til my appointment, which was a week later. About 5 days ago I decided to put in dreadlocks myself. I knew about the backcombing and dreadwax method and immediately went to knottyboy saw their "starter kit" then went to amazon and ordered the kit which got to my house the very next day because I have amazon prime and paid about 5 dollars for one day shipping. That 5 dollars, not to mention the almost 30 I spent on the kit could have been used for a much better purpose than that. Lesson learned. Anyway, so I backcombed and waxed and put in 4 thicker ones that I was only happy with for about 2 days. Scouring the internet for help, I found dreadlockssite and did lots of research. I decided to just take the ones out that I made and give up. Washing them out was a long, tedious process, and damaging to my hair. I lost a lot of hair. I freaked out when I finally started gathering up the brushed out hair because there was SO much of it. I then got back on dreadlockssite, even though I had decided to give up on the dreads, and was drawn to the natural method when I read about it and decided to do that as I figured out the details of making it work without having just one big rat's nest of hair. I also had the realization that the reason I wanted dreads (looks) was not really the reason and I just couldn't see it before. Still after having that epiphany, I realize that I am not able to to fully live that out yet, because I still care about the look, although much less so than before. Due to my impatience of wanting the look, I made 4 or 5 thin dreads with the twist and rip method I found out about on here, with the intention of doing the rest freeform (which oddly enough, I already have one freeformed lock) I didn't realize then, but do now, that those 4 dreads will serve as a reminder of where I started from, mentally and spiritually. I also learned what to expect during the process and that it would not be an easy thing to do. So, I spent the last amount of money I will spend on the beginning of my dreads and bought the wax-be-gone (I got most of the wax out, but I am sure there is still some residue) and a shampoo bar from the store on dreadlockssite. I also bought sea salt and clove oil (for the scent and the antibacterial and antiseptic properties) for a refresher and locking spray. I believe that growing these dreads is going to change my life. Here are my reasons and convictions at this point as to why I am starting my dreads for real and using the natural way.

1. To learn to not expect things, but to still have hope and optimism (because I want to learn all of these that are lessons and in reality I may or may not. But I hope I do)
2. To learn to not to care what other people think. I will be criticized a lot I am sure and probably made fun of, which is not easy for me to accept, but I will learn to be stronger and accept it. And even not to care what people think that like them.
3. They are a representation of my dislike of societal norms and a reminder to refuse to conform (it is expected and normal and common to brush your hair, I am not. Even small rebellions are important ) for ANY reason.
4. It is an aspect, reminder, and representation of living a more natural life, which is my intention that I tend to fail in action a lot for whatever reason. I am hoping this will be a kick start to acting on that intention more.
5.The 4 I started on my own were due to and represent my impatience, and vanity really (because I really do love the look, and that's ok, but I now I realize is not the most important part, in fact, it should be the least.)
6. If and when I learn all these lessons and during learning the lessons I will learn, whatever they may be, those 4 non-grown but made dreads will serve as a reminder of how far I have come, mentally and spiritually.
7. To learn patience, which is one of the things about myself I need to work on majorly. My extreme level of impatience about most anything is what causes a lot of problems in my life that could have been and would be very easily avoided if I could have just been able to "wait and see".
8. To better learn to just let go, let it be, and nature and life will do what it does on it's own.
9. To better learn to really "go with the flow"
10. To learn to get through frustration (when and if I think the dread process looks like crap, frizziness etc.) and accept what IS.
11. To learn not to give up, as I have a feeling at some point in this journey I will want to for whatever reason(s). I will be strong.

Ok, so far there are my reasons for wanting to dread the natural way now. I am sure during the process I will learn more lessons that I didn't know I even needed to learn and experience life in a different way. And I will document that here as best as I can. Please excuse any grammatical errors, as this has been a very stream of consciousness piece of writing.

Here's to new beginnings and to better learning the true meaning of peace!