I am writing this entry with half a bowl of resin smoked (hey payday is tomorrow, we've been broke for 2 weeks!) and I'm thinking I will use it for all things vane.

You see, I am in love with nail polish and own too many bottles to be comfortable admitting. My issue is that I am afraid to post my stuff on a known blog because I'm not very good at painting my nails not at taking pictures, yet I feel I need validation for owning a undisclosed amount of polish. I figure to do this, I should start documenting where I feel welcome... where I believe will feel more "at home".

I am 28 years old (29 in August! Yikes!)

About my dreads; I have 89 of them. I recounted earlier and somehow I got 102 and my heart went all a-flutter about it. Could my dreads have multiplied? HA! Unlikely, I obviously double counted some. Derp.
Anyway, a lot of people think that is an absurd amount to have... I may be inclined to agree once they start getting longer and thicker. I love the thickness now. Most of them are about a sharpie's width, some pencils and a couple of magic markers spread here and there (I call them my Monsters).
After lusting after dreads for 7 years I finally took the plunge the day my beautiful son turned 9 months. I had a tad bit of help from BD (the father of our loooove child, I'll call Big Daddy (BD for short)) but not too much since he didn't have a clue what I was asking of him (lol, he gets better though). You see, we wanted to get pregnant again, but my body isn't ready and quite frankly, I doubt we are, either. I figured I would start my dreads then! TAKE THAT, PROCREATION! My best friend (well, I guess that's what she is...) helped me section off my hair. Originally we planned on her helping me with them, but I am a perfectionist and the anxiety I felt from her backcombing wouldn't allow me to sit still. I don't think she felt comfortable doing it, either, since she jumped at the chance to stop lol. So I took on the daunting task of backcombing/palm rolling my 22.5" of curly red/blonde hair. GAH! Each dread took me damn near an hour ... I uncombed and re-backcombed too many to count. I re-sectioned the back of my head with no mirror. Again, BD was trying to help, but I'm a blunt person (hehe blunt...) and I think my frustrated outbursts scared him (he is a meak man, sometimes... not that I don't loveit). So 3 weeks later, I was a proud owner of 78 new, shiny, frizzy, amazing dread babies. Yes, I said 78, because a few weeks later I took some monsters out since my hair was laying weird, most of them were divided into two... some three. I still have 2 "monsters", their texture is awesome and they are definitely tightening up faster than the smaller dreadies. I dig the fatties look on many, but they do not suit me.

So that was 5 months ago... well, some 3-4 but who's counting?
It was love at first sight, once I realized that I should stop obsessing over size or placement and take in my new hair for all it's worth.
I WILL NEVER GO BACK! Maybe. I'm sure one day I won't want dreads any longer, but for now it feels right.
They are tightening up nicely. Only 3 of them don't have crazy loopies. Some of the super loopy ones have colored hemp around them. I have no idea if it helps, but it looks pretty. The rest, well let's just say BD and I lovingly refer to them as "the nest" or "my controlled chaos" (C. Chaos for short) . I am sure that the frizzies will go down eventually. If not, I've had frizz my whole life so I'll deal. I think the loops are cute, but sometimes I wish they'd just LAY FLAT [round]! BD helps me out a lot, I can't reach the back of my head at an angle that allows me to palm roll and other times I just feel damn lazy after washing these babies so he palm rolls while I separate. I mean, seriously! can anyone actually palm roll the back of their head? I don't understand how people can maintain their dreads if they can't reach back there (?) .
I wash my hair I using a mix of different things... it depends what mood strikes. I have a bar of Dr. Bronner's Peppermint soap but it leaves a gross film on my hair so I only use it to wash my body (and I loooooves it. I also have a Tree Tree Oil bar from Trader Joe's. It's ok but it dries out my scalp. I have Trader Joe's tingle shampoo, too but I pretty much hate it. The best stuff I found in the Health aisle of a local grocery store. It's a Tea tree soap and love it. When my scalp feels extra skuzzy, though I use the good ol' no-poo baking soda w a diluted vinegar rinse (because, let's face it... washing dreads is a pain in the ass (especially if you have 89 of them!) and sometimes I don't get around to washing but once a week). I think I am due for a deep cleaning, but I don't want to do it until I go swimming a couple more times. How bad is chlorine for dreads? It used to turn my blonde hair green so I know, it's not good stuff... but how bad, really? I don't put products in my hair, especially since I have a very sensitive scalp.

A bit [more] about me:

As I stated above, I am going to be 29 in a few months. Do I "feel" 29? Nah. Even if I knew what it's supposed to feel like, I'm sure I don't. Most days I still feel like I'm 17, some days I feel 49. I laugh at farts and think burping contests are a great past time (though now they're beer induced, instead of soda/pop/cola). I love drinking and smoking weed and running through fountains (sometimes all 3 at once). Speaking of fountains, I live in the City of Fountains (Kansas City, for those caring to know my location on a map). I grew up in Midtown and wish every day that I still lived there. Common sense, however, tells me that maybe a street with crack heads breaking into cars for spare change might not be the best area to raise our child. Even the "good" streets have their issues. South KC is boring, but I feel safe and I'm not afraid to run out to my car after dark. I legit still have nightmares about some experiences I had when I was younger by living in the area. To my mother's defense, it was a good neighborhood when she moved there. Also speaking of my mother, she is my rock. We hated each other when I was a teenager, but as soon as I left for college things changed. She got calmer and I found weed-- I mean good friends and better outlets for my angst. Without my mom I wouldn't be where I am today. She is truly a wonderful woman and when she dies (hopefully no time soon!) I will have a huge, gaping hole in my soul. My mom hates tattoos. I want a million. I would have a million if I #1 had money and #B knew a great artist I could trust, who truly sees my vision. I want my first to be a Hanson tattoo. Yep, I said Hanson... MMMBop. I'm pretty sure "MMMBop" will be incorporated... I mean, that is the first song we all heard and either fell in love with, hated, hated to love, or loved to hate.

I don't have a lot of pictures of my hair, as I am usually behind the camera lot. I also wear my hair up a lot because IT'S HARD BEING A MOM AND KEEPING YOURSELF LOOKING SANE. I mean, seriously. My beauty routine went from taking 30 minutes to be presentable to 5 minutes IFI'MLUCKY. Some days I wonder if "presentable" applies to me at all (like today, I totally went out in an old dress with capri sweat pants under it. NOT CUTE, but functional as it covered my body.) One thing I've noticed and loved about this dread "freedom" is that I am more comfortable wearing whateverthefuck I want, because people are going to stare anyway. I've always had a quirky sense of style, I just diluted the craziness before. The other day I wore a rainbow of colors and felt beautiful. The stares don't even bother me that much anymore because I feel good-- so what if other people don't like it? I think those people are just jealous they don't have the guts to express themselves like I do.