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Kelly Williams

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Location: Shawnee, KS
Zipcode: 66218
Country: US

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Am I doing this for the right reason?

2012-04-11
By: Kelly Williams
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Why does a 44 year old women decide to dread her hair? Is it because my entire adult life has been to serve others? I work full time, I'm a wife for 20 years, I'm the mother of 2 children, I'm the daughter of 2 older parents, the sister of a brother incarcerated, the friend who is always there to help. When is is my time? Am I selfish to want my time? Am I thoughtless to how my parents would feel about this? Am I the comedian at work who everyone likes to tease about "her mid-life crisis"? Am I the "cool mom" on the block that all the other mothers mock when I'm not around? Why does a 44 year old women decide to dread her hair?

Mindy
04/15/12 08:44:53PM @mindy:

Maybe the reason won't present itself until later. Sometimes I can't understand why I'm drawn to do things until years later. Sometimes I just have to go with my instincts/calling/whatever inside me feels the need to express itself. My hubby teases me about being more hippie everyday, but for me the opportunity presented itself to not need to conform anymore, and with that realization I'm using it to the fullest.


Heather
04/13/12 12:43:45AM @heather:

you sound like me!!! i've spent more than half of my life taking care of my husband and kids and never doing anything for myself because the guilt was more than i could take. now that my kids are almost all adults i decided i was ready to do something for me and at 40 i started my dreadlock journey. its definitely been a ride though. i rarely get a nice compliment. most people think i'm a dirty hippie or i must be going through a midlife crisis. i find it hard sometimes to continue but you know i waited almost two decades to have dreadlocks and if i give up now than i know i would regret it. my husband and kids support me so i don't really care if anyone else does. you only get one life on this planet so why not. :)


Frank Schuster
04/11/12 05:55:18PM @frank-schuster:

no matter for what reason you're doing this, the journey will help you to grow in many ways.

Mentally, spiriatually, personally etc.

So if you can profit from this experience there is no excist of right or wrong reason.


Tara C
04/11/12 04:21:04PM @tara-c:

Course it's the right reason. As selfless as it is to always live for other people, there has to be a balance between being there for others, without sacrificing your own identity. Do whatever makes you happy, and if this journey is what will make you happy, then it's definitely the right reason.


Kelly Williams
04/11/12 02:03:24PM @kelly-williams:

Thanks SE and Emily....

Emily sounds just like me..


Emily Holman
04/11/12 12:49:20PM @emily-holman:

I know the feeling! I'm a SAHM to 6 kids, wife, sister, daughter, friend. I realized a few months ago that it has been a long time since i've done anything completely for myself. when i first became i wife and mother my life became about my family and i completely lost who i was. I realized how unhealthy that can he. How much that had changed me. So i decided it was time to do things for ME that it wasn't selfish, as long as there was balance it was a completely healthy thing to do. My dreads were the first thing i've done for ME and nobody else in a long time. Something i've done just because I wanted to do it. It was liberating as silly as that may sound. And i've since found myself doing other things i once enjoyed before family life and had completely forgotten about. Silly things like book club, and belly dancing, and girls night out once a month. For the first time in a long time i feel like myself again. So are you doing it for the right reasons? If your doing it for you and because you want to then YES!


☮ soaring eagle ॐ
04/11/12 12:42:35PM @soaring-eagle:

its odder you havent thought about that years ago maybe you should try to get to the gathering this summer great way to find yourself


Kelly Williams
04/11/12 12:32:01PM @kelly-williams:

I need to find out WHO I am!Besides the wife, mother, daugther, sister, friend. I have lost ME. I haven't thought about that for 20 + years.Isn't thatodd that I even care?


☮ soaring eagle ॐ
04/11/12 12:25:36PM @soaring-eagle:

why wouldnt you want to? and why shouldnt you if you want to?

thoe are the only questions needing answers but the answers are so simple


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