Reasons why / Introduction
I've loved dreadlocks since I was nine, and my neighbor had them. He was always very kind to me, an only child who was homeschooled and didn't have many friends, being that he was in his mid twenties. He was what I would come to know as a free spirit. He was a completely different type of person than what I was used to, he seemed disconnected from the rat race that was the world my parents and I lived in, and that had a profound impact on me, even though I was to young to realize what it was, or why.
Am I going to pour my heart out now? Why yes, I believe I am.
I made 26 in November. I live in southern Louisiana, a very very VERY red state. Which, well, its not that bad I suppose, but its hard to find anyone who understands why I try to live the way I do. I have two wonderful daughters and live with my partner/they're father Justin.
We stopped using shampoo about six months ago (using baking soda and apple cider vinegar instead), as well as eating clean. We also make our own laundry detergent in effort to make less of an impact on the environment. We live in a place where it's hard to find someone who cares about our planet or our impact on it at all. Most people label you a crazy tree hugger and disregard anything you have to say, and kindness and openmindedness is over run with blind ignorance and hatred. Being non religious in any way, I still respect other people's opinions and ideas, and I foolishly expect the same... even when it comes to my family.
I have a wonderfully understanding, supportive mother, even though she disagrees with many things (especially the locks, I got the " but your hair is so beautiful" speech..) but nonetheless, she loves and tries to understand what my reasons for things are.
The other side of my familyon the other hand, and my grandmother, well, it seems they have been brainwashed by religion and right wing agenda and have lost the ability to think for themselves in any way, shape or form. Money is the key to everything with them and liberals are basically terrorists waiting to happen in they're eyes. Needless to say, it's hard to deal with. They're concern always amazes me, especially since I was condemned to hell by them eight years ago when I got a small tattoo on my ankle. There is a part of me that would like to run the other way and have nothing to do with such ignorance and bigotry, but then I feel that there would be nothing to learn, nor would I be any better than them by shunning them. Besides, I keep hoping maybe, just maybe I'll rub off on them at some point. =)
I spent some years doing this and doing that, falling in line with what I was supposed to do or what was 'cool'... but eventually, sometime in the past two or three years - developed an incredible distaste for what society dictates as correct, clean or pretty, and became obsessed with informing myself. It's just so silly, being so separated from nature, which is the only true, pure beauty that exists to begin with. I refuse to become part of the rat race society tries to put us into just for the sake of money. Obviously I work, I am fortunate enough to work for Whole Foods, which is unfortunately a corporation, but at least it does positive things in its communities and promotes health, but the bottom line is and always will be money.... even if it is less of a priority than with other companies.
I hope to start a photography business in the future, I am definitely someone who would prefer to dictate my own schedule and actions... and I plan on moving to Oregon in the next year or so. I need more nature and beauty in my life.
So why did I dread my hair? Originally I wanted to just let nature take it's course, but I can be a bit impulsive at times, and that got the better of me. I just wanted them there with me. So I used the twist and rip method to get them started and now I'm just letting them go. I keep trying to pinpoint a reason and I can't. Part of me feels like it's an asshole filter, as it will weed out assholes and help me avoid them, part of me feels like its as close to nature as I can be, like some sort of tribute to my ancestors, but mostly, they just feel like freedom. Plus, I'm pretty sure they are here to stay.
I hope I can be that person that my neighbor was to some child in my life. That they will see me and my locks and feel like its a representation of love, open heartedness and openmindedness. And most importantly..... Freedom.