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Location: Phoenix, AZ
Zipcode: 85024
Country: US


Blogs: 3
images: 25

Rambling and sadness

user image 2010-06-28
By: ☮Izzy-licious☮
Posted in:
Well I asked my roomie to come home at some point today so I could talk to her about something... it's been two hours since she said she would be home a little later... ANYWAY what I plan on talking to her about is if everything is okay... last night she went out with our mutual friends.. big group kind of thing... I didnt get so much as a text message to even see if I was busy. Then I see them all posting how much fun they were having on facebook and I'm like wtf. Now she knows I dont have much money but don't assume I cant afford to go. I just get the feeling like she is avoiding me. Two days ago I heard her and her boyfriend awake in her room. I got up to go pee and there is no way you can't hear when one of us leaves our rooms because the doors are loud... well I was flushing when they walked out of her room and by the time I pulled up my pants and washed my hands they were out the door with it locked and long gone.. it was like they bolted out of the house to avoid talking to me. :(So I spent the rest of that day and the next day at my parents house and she didnt even come home this weekend except to do her hair for work. My mom suggested I move back home so I can save my rent money for a year and have the ability to move somewhere else (a different state) if I want. While I was at my parents I got super depressed and just had the gut feeling I didnt want to move back there so I made my mom take me home. After a screaming and crying match over my disbelief that my little brother isnt doing drugs anymore. I even asked my roomie and my ex if they could come get me to take me back here. She told me she was working until 10 I said no worries I am home now and I heard NOTHING from her til this morning in response to my text about her coming home so I could talk to her about something. So now it's 2 pm she most likely has to work at 5 and she prolly wont show up here until about 4. I don't know what is going on but I need to know.. I feel like my roomie and best girl friend in Phoenix hates me as well as the friends we share and since I dont know many others here anymore I sit in solitude watching every movie I own and being ignored by everyone. :( The only person that wants to talk to me is my Ex and that is slowly going away too since we've talked about alot of crap that happened in our relationship. It breaks my heart and I dont even know what I did to deserve this. I want to just start over somewhere new or find some new friends. But I work alone and cant find a new job so that I can meet new people. I can't really afford to drive downtown and go check out the galleries and just be around people that share the same ideas as me. Its getting really bad and I just want to curl up in a ball, cry and sleep everyweekend until work on tuesdays... :(
07/05/10 05:33:08AM @bill:
in my opinion ppl like that are not your friends, so dont treat them as your friend.maybe they'll stop being bitch's or maybe you'll lose them. win - win in my eyesi would rather have good friends then close enemys

Jessie Carr
06/29/10 10:55:18AM @jessie-carr:
awww! bless her and bless you!Goodluck with everything though! =]

06/28/10 07:23:32PM @izzy-licious:
Well she finally came home but I understand more of what is going onshe is just as miserable as I am with her job and other situations right now... She almost walked out of her job last night and her ex is having his friend that works there cause major problems.. .we will see how the next few days go and I will hopefully stop dwelling on all this shit :)

06/28/10 05:08:12PM @izzy-licious:
yeah everyone loves her its like when she is there and the guys are over two she is the only one in the room... i get ignored almost completely. I just dont know what is up.. so I am hoping to talk to her about it but she will most likely forget. I am jsut worried that she will bail on me on the lease... she is really flakey sometimes and I get this feeling she is all ready to move in with her boyfriend and leave me with the whole rent which I cannot afford... my ex bf said he would happily help me out if that happens but I am not sure I want to live with him again... ugh! we will see what happens she just needs to come home so i can talk to her and stop speculating as to what is going on

Jessie Carr
06/28/10 04:38:40PM @jessie-carr:
yeah... they have been hanging out for like months.. and im only next door when they know ive been sat indoors doing NOTHING.

Jessie Carr
06/28/10 04:37:49PM @jessie-carr:
Im going through the same thing! =[Well... slightly.My best friend lives in the next town and I never saw her because her boyfriend at the time was controlling.After she broke up with him I told her a year later that I missed hanging around with her cuz she never saw me, she said "aww i know it sucked, i can see you now though ^-^!"anyway. one of my best guy friends lives in the next road from me and so does another one, we are all friends together and she and the guys ALWAYS hang was a week holiday and when i got back i said "what were you up to?" and she said all three of them have been hanging at shauns (the next road guy) I was like "OOOOOOOOO_OOOOO way to invite me over o.o"so I got over that. but anyway. she hasnt been to my house properly in 3 years, no sleepovers no nothing. she always has excuses. but apparently no excuses for going round shauns house all the time even though he lives next to me! wtf! she's supposed to be my best friend.ANYWAY!!!... what ive been doing is giving her no attantion and stuff because shes quite up herself anyway and thinks everyone loves her so ive been pretending to be un interested and stuff and yeah. And now the guys have been inviting me out finally! =D and i can see that its hurting her ego because she thought she was teh ONLY one that they wanted to hang out with ^-^ LOL.yeah XD ehhe

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