Truthfully I haven't brushed my hair in several months, maybe even a year...but I heavily used conditioner & if my hair wasn't in a ponytail it was being played with. Twisting strands, running my fingers through it, tucking it behind my ear, constant touching & messing with it. That kept it "brushed" looking enough for me. It's been difficult to stop messing with my hair, I've done it unconsciously for so long. I do feel I've stopped for the most part, every once in a while I catch myself starting to touch it & I have to stop before I run my fingers through it or twist a section. It won't be too long before the habit is gone, but I'm sure once I have true knots with lumps & bumps I'll be running my fingers over the lovely textures. I'll have to keep it to a minimum.

For me dreads were first an idea of beauty &convenience. I've admired them for at least 10 years & the thought of lessmaintenance also appealed to me. Short hair cuts were easy but didn't feel or look right on me (i felt my face looked too round). Longer hair required styling which wouldn't hold or a ponytail which pulled at my head & if worn too often or long would start to ache. I felt my only options were chopped off or ponytail, both of which I didn't enjoy, but both kept my hair out of my way & out of baby fingers. I revisited my old admiration of locks.

I came here, I learned a lot. I read & read, I asked questions & helpful kind people answered. No one had a hidden agenda, they only wanted me to have happy healthy locks & share in their own joy of them. The positive energy here was amazing. I had been in a very down spot in my life & having positive people around me for once really helped me look up again.

I'm continually learning. Not just about dreadlocks forming & caring for them but about myself as well. They are teaching me more patience & calm. I'm able to just let go. I'm usually a mellow person but I can get caught up with things & worked up quite easily, I'm already noticing a change in that...my calm lasts a bit longer...& hopefully as my dreads form & grow so can my calm. I've always been somewhat spiritual but I hope that dreading helps open my eyes, mind & heart more to the spiritual side of things.

There is only one things that worries me about my dreading journey, it's not how they will look or how fast they'll form. It's the reactions. Strangers I don't care about, it's my parents & my in-laws. My mother is extremely closed minded sadly, I know she will have plenty of negative things to say. I dread seeing her next. My conservative father may not say anything but he will have his silence ofdisapproval. No amount of information will help them understand, they refuse to be open-minded. My in-laws will probably voice their opinions based on misconceptions, & I will educate them. They will learn but that doesn't mean they will accept. It's hard when some of those closest to you are your biggest critics. I will try to teach them, I will try to ignore the evil things they will say, I will stay positive because this is something that brings me great joy.

Most of my hair is sectioning, the sections seem quite small & stringy but at the roots they seem to be of decent size so I'll let them do what they will. The sides & front top layers still are silky & smooth as if I've been brushing them all along. I'm not worried, it will all catch up in time. The sections in the very back seem to be starting a bit of knotting, but not enough that I would say I have any dreads yet. Slow progress is still progress.