By hummingbirds, 2012-10-09
Decided 4 days ago to give up on taming my hair and leave it be, and now hopefully I'll grow some beautiful locks! I've tried all my life to make my hair look the way I want it to, which is basically the opposite of what it is naturally; thick, curly like a telephone cord, brown and superdry (wondering where those genes came from since my family is of Scandinavian origin...). I wanted it to be straight, colorful and voluminous so I've been abusing it with straighteners, products, dyeing, hairspray and a lot of teasing, constantly since I turned 13. I've hated my natural hair to death and even straight-perming it which ruined it completely. It's been damaged and torn to the point where I thought it would fall off (which it kinda did to some extent).But now I've realized that there's really no point. Why should I care so much about my appearance, what other people think of the way I look, to the point where I'm fighting my inheritage and destiny, really? I want to be happy. I don't want to spend hours everyday on fighting what grows on the top my head just to fit in to what society claims is "pretty", "normal" and "the way to be or prepare for people questioning you". I don't care anymore what people think of me as I walk past them. I just care about my happiness, health, friends and love.To cut to the chase, I'm taking this step to prove to myself, not anyone else, that I can let go of control, that I can let things be the way they should and that there are more important things in life than what people think of me. I'm not perfect and I don't need to be.I'm looking forward to this journey and to see my hair grow the way it wants to. It will do me good, I think.