why does my mom and my sister in lawand my perverted brother think its okay to comepletly ruin my weekend and break a promise that he wont be home till halloween and make is so i have noone to watch my son so i have to call off today. i mean if it wasnt for joe my father in law i would have had to call off all weekend. i hate them so fuckin much. and of course they all think that i have no reason to be upset. im blowing it all out of perportion bc i want my son to be in a safe place i suppose. i mean i know kai (my brother) sucks at life and cant keep a job past 9 months but i believe that having a job is good b/c it helps feed my family but i suppose im the only one who feels this way because they all are mad at me because i told them how fucked up all this is. tammy my sister in law says to other ppl to ignore me. yeah because thats just what everyone has done my whole life. just as my mom throws my needs to the back burner soon as kais needs come up. i mean im the victim and i just keep getting victimized over and over and it sux ass. what really pisses me off is that i feel as though my sons needs got put in the back right with mine. dude hes two is he supposed to watch himself. they told me he wasnt gonna be home till halloween weekend so if i needed my mom to watch him she could. but now that he wants to come home to mommys house early they all said oh well fuck her let him come home. i mean i only need this job to help spport my family ya know. and tammy dont know how it feels i mean she knows everything and it doesnt stop her and make her tink twice cuz shes so dumb she convinced herself that even though he admitted it at first since he took it back and said it didnt happen later then he must be telling the truth. i mean am i the only one who thinks i have a right to be pissed. i mean luckily someone offered to trade me days so i didnt loose hours but what if joes hours were diffrent for the weekend and he was unable to watch him then id have to call off all weekend and who knows possibly get fired. but noone cares about that. i mean tammy wanted kai to be home and since shes pregnant and hes my moms lil boy guesse who get the curb. me and my family. i mean seriously havent we been through enough?. why do they give him the right to constantly screw me over again and again.?i mean i now realize that for sure for sure i want no relationship with my mom anymore. i already have no relationship with tammy and the only ppl at that house i have respect for is my dad and my nephew is okay sometimes. but who knows how long thatll last. the apple doesnt fall far from the trees. and they are some tall fat ugly stupid perverted trees. so lets hope that saying aint true although he is a year older then my son and my son is far beyond him academically. my husband and i both think we are in the right here. i mean is there something im missing. or are they all dumb and crazy like i believe they are. i mean i havent been this pissed in awhile, i mean johns family all on my side. my friends and johns friends i mean they all see that my immediate family on my side is fuckin crazy. i just dont understand how i can try so hard and constantly get knocked down. especially goin through the pain of coming out to my family about this and feeling as thoughmy mom and dad tried to care but especially mom just couldnt go through with it. i mean its like she finds it so hard to love me. it brings me back to when i was a little kid. shed always tell my tha when my brother would hurt me and beat me up that is was probably brcause i was instigating it. which most the time he just tortured me because he was dumb and got made fun of in school. so no wonder i didnt tell her about the "real" abuse until i was in my 20s i mean can u blame me. look how well she handles it now. it just really makes me sad. i mean that now at 24 i finally realize i will never have a real relationship with her after yrs of trying and failing. as far my sister in law and the perv they are gonna move to iowa supposedly and i know its so her kids wont ever find out about what theyre daddy did. cuz my son knows that hes a bad man. i didnt explain cuz hes to young i just told him if u see him anywhere dont go near him cuz hes a bad man and he was mean to mommy.cuz i mean i dont want to scare him i just want him to knowso i know thats why.