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hippie mama


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leaving me

user image 2010-09-18
By: hippie mama
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i know its hard to love me-i just wish i could end it all-i just realize that i hurt you too-and that its all my fault-when will you finally leave me-and just realize you had enough-i know i really love you-but loving me has proven to tough-i know that im emotionally wounded-that peice of shit really fucked me up-i know that you just wanna run away-but i hope u dont give up.-i know i have all these problems-and i just dont know how to fix them-i used to see a smile on your face-now its just us screamin-every talk get out of hand-things get thrown and tears get shed-i inderstand if you wannaq run away-if i were you i would have probably fled-it would be so easy to just give up-accept for our little one-everything i do in the world is for him-he would be lost if this was all done-i wish that we could just talk it out-without shit get escalating-do you beleive this is real love-i hope ur answer isnt devastating-sometime i want to hurt myself-when the depression reaches its peak-i feel like you guys would be better off-without me around to speak-i just want you to love me again-like you did before it all began to sour-i want us to laugh again-up on the phone talking for hours-i mean sometimes we talk now-but i only get the stress of your day-it doesnt seem like you even want to look at me-you cant even wait till i have to go away-you say you dont like to cuddle-but we use to cuddle all the time-you used to laugh at my crazy beahvior-everything used to be just fine-now i embarass you where ever we go-like you wish i would disapear-i really think if it was for our lil man-i dont think you would even be here-i thought you would love me forever-that you wouldnt even need to try-that i would never ever piss you off-and you would never make me cry-now it seems aqs though we have to work on it-i hope its worth the fight-i hope oneday we can get back to the basics-and have the love bug give us a bite-i know things are getting really tough-and its so easy to choose to leave me-but i love you with all of my soul-but im not sure if thats all u need-im just so tired of crying late at night-and being your stress reliever-i know your tired of hearing me whine-and well never be like leave it to beaver-i know i brought all this chaos to your life-and your really the only family i have-you were there when others turned their backs-and i never had a man like that-i know i could never give up on you-and if ur walkin you gotta go through me-and you know lil man hed be so devastated-hed cry so many tears itd form a sea-everybody needs a little help sometimes-we all know i aint perfection-but i would go to the ends of the earth for you-your my only protection-i know ill cry a thousand more cries-and youll throw many more keys-i just hope u love me enough to never straycuz you and gauge are the only family for me -(just remember every couple fights. every family has its up and downs but unlike alot of my blood family my husband and son have my back through everything. they know i wouldnt make shit up about ppl and they understand how badly some fucked up ppl have hurt me. noone knows you better then the people you let into your brains and hearts. they congratulate you when your good and let yo. u know whats up when your not. i just hope lthat in the end of life i have my husband on one side and my son on the other cuz i couldnt imagine life without either of them. my son is the world to me but right by his side in my heart is my husbandwe understand eachother good and bad and sometimes that means knowing what pisses them off the most too..)
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