Long Emotional rant, not 100% dread related.
wow ok that was unexpected and intence and well i know its not directly related in any way but wanteds to share a few things from my life
id always had nothing..since the age of 14 in fact 15-18 about i went nearly 3 years with the same 18 cents in my pocket and just didnt bother with money at all
over the years ive had everything i owned stolen multiple times..once having every cent i had stolen by someone who i kept alive for 3 or 4 years (she literaly would have died around 25 times during that tui=ime )
but who cares yea it was upsetting for a short time but whu should that change things?
when i had money every time i spent it id seperate the quarters out of the change (since at the time they were usefull for phone calks and lasundrey) and scattered the pennies nickles and dimes on the street or left them in phone booths where i knew desperate people might look
many years ago i did a program with gangs ..rival gangs members that changed alot of lives but what i found was joining the gangs was just a way to have "guaranteed friends" on mean streets where youd end up dead (or at least taken advantage of) if you didnt have a crew to watch your back so often it was a fear..not of being alone exactly but of not being safe on your own
then once your in that life true friends..family ..people who care and arent just scared (wich later can be replaced with other things that gang lifestyle provides beyond safety (drugs money etc) your real friends are pushed away..scared away by your behavior..and the fearsome front you put on to seem hard ..cold.. dangerouse causes those around you you would e able to trust and care about to run from you in fear
kindness generosity caring these are not weaknesses
its not a weakness to reach out to your family for a helping hand either
and as an alternative to jail there are programs out there to help you turn your life around too