i feel for you, sweetie. my hair doesn't like to hold knots either. you need to find a way to roughen up the cuticle of your hair so it will be more likely to accept the t&r or just knotting in general. a wave perm doesn't sound like a bad idea to me. a few other people on here have done the same and have had good results with natural knotting.
i would suggest washing more often (every other day) since the oils from your scalp can soften the hair and make knots slip out. add 2 tsp. of sea salt to your bs wash. be careful to not add to much eo's to your wash because it might soften your hair more. skip acv rinces. do sea salt sprays on your hair on the days in between washing. let your hair dry in the sun if you can. you could also try washing your hair with dish detergent like dawn original. it will strip your hair but will make it more prone to knotting.