You received loads of good advice in answer to your query, and you did exactly the right thing. The lessons and learning never stop, as long as we remain open. Way to approach things with love as your base! Way to incorporate nature in the healing process! Love it. Well done, Dear One.
Hugs to you, Dear One. Relationships can be tricky, for sure. Growth often happens during our hardest times, as I'm sure you already know. If you can get to a point where you can be okay with your partner being sad, that would be healthy for you. Why such a need for him to be happy? It is obviously more pleasant in the home when there is emotional harmony, but the truth is that we are all still very, very human - part of which is learning to rise above ego, experience our emotions and just let them go, etc.
I come from an extremely conservative religious background (think headcovering, practically Amish) and now simply embrace spirituality over any form of religion. This works best for me, and has allowed me to release many former hang-ups I had revolving around judgment, expectations, fears, etc. If you are interested in my journey, I write a spiritual blog at:
www.soulpilgrimswelcome.blogspot.ca
Glad you felt free to share your concerns on this very cool website. Many blessings to you on your continued journey!
The job of a parent is to raise their offspring in a loving, secure, safe environment. Once the child has reached maturity, the parent's job is finished. As for me, I am also trying to raise my daughters to be self-confident, independent, and compassionate. I have told them many times that my love for them transcends anything they might do or say, including life choices I may not make for myself. I am sorry that more parents do not raise their kids this way.
You don't sound like living at home is a very healthy thing for you or your mother. There is a much deeper issue here than simply the way you do your hair. I would seriously consider putting some space between you if that would help preserve your relationship.
Best wishes on your journey,
A Loving Mother.
Welcome here! Glad you found us, it is a great place to get info. The reply that you are bound to get is DON'T DO ANYTHING. Just let them dread on their own. Some folks use a sea salt mixture to help (Soaring Eagle has all the "hair concoction recipes").
Dreading is very much a personal journey. One thing we all need to learn is patience - and dreads demand that. Your hair will dread in its own time, in its own way. It will look weird and funny and loopy and messy. There will be lots of loose hairs, there will be scary-looking mats. Just separate the dreads occasionally and let them do their thing.
I used the twist 'n rip method to start my dreads before I found this site. I didn't realize just not doing anything would lead to dread formation. I am pleased with how they are progressing.
Best wishes on your journey!
I wash with baking soda & water & teatree, and I rinse with vinegar & water & lavender. My hair is soft and my scalp doesn't itch, other than that usual wintertime itch that is part of life in Canada. SE is right, do your best to retrain your thoughts. Imagine that every itch is actually a single hair that is just rebelling a little bit over getting joined into a dread... showing some attitude like a child - but eventually all will be right and you will have a set of beautiful, healthy dreads.
Peace,
Janice
omfreaking.g. WALMART is complaining about your hair??? In Canada I sometimes don't know where to look at the cashiers at Walmart due to multiple facial piercings and very exciting hair color - and they are complaining about DREADS? Give me a gigantic break!
Welcome, George! Yes, this website is a great source of info and encouragement. See you around...
The only one I find hard to take is when my GF, who has dreads down to her waist that she had done at a salon (yes, wax & all) tells me that she wants to "fix" my dreads. omg Your hands may touch me but not my hair, babe... I don't think she gets the whole "natural" concept...
SE that just may be the most profound post of yours that I have read yet. Very insightful, indeed.
