Forum Activity for @samalamajam

Vacation to San Diego

General Talk

Hey ya'll! I'm headed to san diego tomorrow morning for my boyfriends tech conference. We'll be on an early morning flight on april 28, 2013 and staying for a week. Ill have all day to just wander and discover. Is there anyone in san diego that would like to meet for lunch or possibly be my informal tour guide? Touristy stuff is ok but Id really like to see the soft underbelly of the city that only a local would know. Ill be using public transit. Check out my profile and youtube channel if you want to know my style and see if we'd get along. Tell me about yourself, id love to make some lifelong west coast friends!
updated by @samalamajam: 01/13/15 09:51:44PM

Baby Dreads: Should I Wait or Tell My Boss Now?

dreads jobs employment issues

So, I just recently got hired at a job. During my interview and every time I've had to go in I have put my 3 month old baby locks up in a "bun pony-tail thing" to hide them.I feel like waiting and not telling her in the first place is dishonest. I could be making a worse decision by keeping it from her. But, I didn't want the stereotypes of dreadlocks to stop her from hiring me.

Now that I have the job should I:
continue to wear my hair like this until she asks something
or
come out and tell her now
or
tell her once they've matured to the point I can't hide?

I have another month (max of 2 months) before they're blatantly obvious where I won't be able to hide anymore.Anyone have this situation or any advice?

updated by @samalamajam: 01/13/15 09:17:18PM

I think my family is racist and they don't know it:

Dreads in the Family

Agreed. Thank you SE.
Thoughts on my brother? His definitely have become a pattern.

@new dreddie: no I don't even think he has any friends or knows anyone that's not white. he has a very narrow vision of what's "normal".

I think my family is racist and they don't know it:

Dreads in the Family

I've got all kinds of responses from people about my dreadies. They're at the point that some stick out pretty obviously and my friends ask to see a couple out of curiousity and because they think it's "neat" an "interesting" in how hair changes when you don't brush it. THOSE people I love showing my dreads off to. They're are genuinely intrigued as much as I am.

However (and getting to why I'm posting this):

Every time I show my brother my dreadlocks he touches it, pulls away and says "feels just like a black person's hair". He's 16 and very ignorant. We've had discussions about how dreadlocks are widespreadacrossthe human race. But, I still keep getting these comments from him.
And then yesterday my mom (who has been supportive, doesn't quite "get it" but not negative) said after she felt a really tight dread "I bet that's how Whoppie Goldberg's hair feels".

Here's my question: Should I be offended? I'm upset about them generalizing and I feel like they're stereotyping but I'm not sure how to convey this to them and make them understand. I'd really like anyone's stories about how people react when they feel your dreadlocks but especially any POC and what they think about my brother and mother.

Thanks!!!

updated by @samalamajam: 01/13/15 09:17:17PM

Making My Hair Smell Fantastic: 2 Possible Solutions (Leave in Treatment w/ BS/ACV and Conditioning w/ Shampoo Bars?)

Dread Products

Fantastic to know that there is a conditioner already in the soap! Before I started dreading I used peppermint shampoo which is why I love it. Unfortunately I already ordered the peppermint. At least I already have horrible allergies and I go around 24/7 congested so maybe the peppermint will be a good thing for me. I'll definitely look into the other scents after I use this bar.

And I'll remove the jojoba from my homemade concoction until my baby dreadies are more mature and that's even if it's necessary then.

Making My Hair Smell Fantastic: 2 Possible Solutions (Leave in Treatment w/ BS/ACV and Conditioning w/ Shampoo Bars?)

Dread Products

I've only been dreading for 2 months actually and the only conditioning I have done so far is with the ACV rinse with essential oils. My question was basically: does the formula for my leave in "smell-good" treatment sound alright?

And thank you for the answer to the bar shampoo question.

Making My Hair Smell Fantastic: 2 Possible Solutions (Leave in Treatment w/ BS/ACV and Conditioning w/ Shampoo Bars?)

Dread Products

So, I have 2 questions, one regarding making my hair smell better in combination with BS/ACV and the other regarding the dreadlockshampoo.com dread bars.

Before I started dreading I read that other people missed the smell of freshly shampooed hair. I never thought that this would be an issue for me, but after 2 months of dreading and compulsively smelling my boyfriend after he gets out of the shower, I must say, I miss my hair smelling like something fantastic. So, I think I have come up with two possible solutions:

I have been washing with the BS/ACV (plus tea tree, rosemary and lavender oils) and loving it. However I get out of the shower smelling like nothing just...hair. Clean hair, but regardless just...plain hair smell.

First Question: Would it do any harm if I used a jojoba, peppermint, rosemary and rose water spray after I took a shower?
I figure it will be beneficial in 3 ways:
1) jojoba: conditioning and help with oiliness
2) peppermint & rose water: smell fantastic
4) rosemary: dandruff.

Second Quesiton: Also, after reading such great remarks from SE's discussion about dreadlockshampoo.com and their scents I'm taking the leap and bought the peppermint shampoo. Is it necessary to condition after using their shampoos? Either with ACV or anything else? Maybe Aloe? I'm worried (in the long run) about the strength of my hair and it breaking off if I decide to use this shampoo without a conditioner.

updated by @samalamajam: 01/13/15 09:15:08PM

Visual Differences: Natural dreads vs all the other methods

General Questions

Is there a way to visually tell how someone has started their dreads? I've seen dreads that are started with a felting needle and how uniform they are (so they're pretty easy to spot). But I've been looking at pictures on the internet and trying to guess (just as a game for myself).

Anyone tried this in real life or searching pictures on the internet?

Thoughts?

updated by @samalamajam: 01/13/15 09:14:40PM

Article Critique: "White People and Dreadlocks: A Problematic Union"

History and Religious Significance

Wow! All this discussion is awesome and has really got me thinking. I knew that if there was anyone to put to words my reluctance to believe that I was solely appropriating another culture by dreading my hair it would be all of you. (Thanks is what I'm trying to say)

One other point that also stuck with me is that dreading your hair is a cultural symbol. The meaning of that symbol is dependent on the history of your culture. For this situation, being white American and dreading your hair is perceived by other Americans as negative because you are taking in that particular culture's symbol and loosing the meaning by being white.

"You cant just take a cultural sign and act as if it has no history, as if a headdress or dreadlocks just exist in itself.Becauseif you do, youre doing a very real kind of violence, youre trying to break a sign, youre trying to break meaning. And these meanings can be anything from religious devotion, to family links, tolineage, to honour, mourning, and so on. Culture lives in the signs, so when someone tries to deny the meaning of signs, theyre trying to kill that sign and so try to kill a little bit of culture." -source

Again, I think these statements come from the assumption that dreadlocks originated from black Rastafarians and that dreadlocks as a whole only symbolize the revolt against white oppression and what the dominant culture views as "beautiful".The fact is that the people that say we should cut our dreads and that we "have no right"are those that are in pain and attack us because they see dreadlocks solely as a symbol of revolting against the oppression and when we adopt this symbol we are destroying what it means to thieir culture.I think truth lies in acknowledging that dreadlocks have the most recent (and maybe the most painful) history in the racism of the American culture and not in simply devaluing what dreadlocks mean to them. However when we are told that we "have no right" and that we should cut them we should stand our ground and dreaducate. The fact is dreadlocks are not just a black cultural symbol but cross-culture.

I feel better now that I got that last paragraph out. I know I couldn't accept this sole cultural appropriation explanation for my dreads.

Article Critique: "White People and Dreadlocks: A Problematic Union"

History and Religious Significance

I have gotten some flak from people saying that I "shouldn't" be growing dreads and that it's cultural appropriation. My response was that they have been around for centuries not just blacks and (what I'm assuming their criticisms are based on) rastas. But I wasn't given much of a chance to argue. I felt bulldozed and told that I was appropriating another culture. I felt lost and incurred some white shame when I did some more research. Especially this part: "The bottom line is that white people can cut off their dreads and recover all the privileges that might have been deferred because of their hairstyle." I'm still passionate about my journey. There was some conflicting views before, I felt like this was right for me, what I wanted to do, but people were telling me that it was wrong. Thanks for the responses.