Forum Activity for @thirdtimesacharm

Feeling discouraged and worried about having dreads again

Dreadlocks Journey Emotional Support

So now that I've started my third dread journey, I've become a bit discouraged. My family isn't necessarily unsupportive of them. Both of my parents were more or less fine with it in the past but they had their own misunderstandings like anyone would. 

I am mainly worried because I developed mildew/mold the other times I had dreads (Or I thought I had at least). Because of this, my dad seems to believe that I am just "not meant to have dreads". He told me that I was so anxious and angsty and that I should of have just "washed my hair". 

The thing is, I of course ALWAYS washed my hair. I told him this too but he just kept mentioning that I didn't? It doesn't make any sense. He also kept trying to say that my hair may have gotten mildew because it wasn't clean enough, when really we all know that mildew doesn't happen for that reason. I did occasional deep cleans and the water was always super clear and not murky at all. Basically, my dreads were always very clean, even if they maybe didn't dry properly. 

I also find it funny that he thinks I was so angsty about it. I was so happy with my first set of dreads and the only reason I was ever upset was because I felt I had to get rid of them, or the issues I was having were stressing me out. This had nothing to do with the actual dreads themselves though. He doesn't seem to understand that either.

So now that I am starting my third and hopefully final set, I am dreading (haha) having to tell them, or anyone that I am doing it. I know they are going to say those same things and be so shocked as to why I would even want to. I've wanted to for the longest time though. When I combed them out the first time I wanted them back. When I shaved my head I wanted them back too. For months all I've thought about when it comes to what I want to do with my hair has been dreads. 

They are truly what I want most even if having other hairstyles is easier. 

In addition, I am going to be living with a family from Germany soon in sort of an "au-pair" situation and I have not told them yet either. Should I even have to tell them? Me having dreads is not a reflection of my personality or how I will act with their family. I am worried they will think I would be a bad example for their kids In reality they probably won't care at all. 

I guess I'm just curious what you all have to say about this or if you've experienced it too. 

updated by @thirdtimesacharm: 02/21/19 11:51:22PM

8 months

Member Journals and Timelines

My hair is 3a curly hair and the first time I had dreads, only about half of my head was dreaded by 8 months. I too have a ton of hair like you may have and when I started then I had long hair, so the sides and almost all of the back dreaded up well but I still had the bottom layer of my hair and the front around my face that was completely undreaded after a year. 

A lot of it has to do with which parts of your hair have the most contact with things and receive friction. Don't feel upset or discouraged! 

Hello! Third time with dreads

Introduce Yourself

I've found dreads help me out a lot with slowing me down, making me let go of things I can't control, and they are also a tangible symbol that keeps my grounded. 

Really amazing how hair can mean so much:)

Hello! Third time with dreads

Introduce Yourself

Haha no I wouldn't say I'm a germaphobe. I have my quirks like not wanting to drink something where I can see someone's spit on it but I definitely am not ridiculously clean either (My room is quite a mess right now haha and I was living in a cabin this summer with an outhouse). I do however have anxiety/obsessive thoughts and depression. I'm also a bit of a hypochondriac ugh XD 

I think just in general I'm very sensitive to the five senses and do tend to feel things quite strongly emotionally as well. Just who I am I guess. 

Hello! Third time with dreads

Introduce Yourself

Hey there again!

Yes, I actually used rot knot by your recommendation back then. I loved the smell and thought it was a great product overall. However, I remember that I kept having issues despite using it. I think a lot of it came down to me being over-paranoid and over-sensitive to smell. I noticed after not having dreads for a while that I would still get a funny smell occasionally that I had mistaken for mold in the past. Turns out it was probably just sweat a lot of the time lol. So basically I think I did get a bit of mildew but was sort of smelling it when it wasn't even there. 

Hello!!

Introduce Yourself

I'm on my third set and hoping to make it my final as well! Good luck! Looking great:) 

Hello! Third time with dreads

Introduce Yourself

So as the my username hints at, this is my third time growing dreads. The first time I grew dreads, I went the freeform route and absolutely loved them. It was one of the happiest times of my life Unfortunately, due to my extremely long-to-dry hair and some mistakes I made during the drying process, I developed what I believed to be a bit of mildew. To this day I still don't know if that was what it really was or not. No one else seemed to notice it lol. Nevertheless, I combed out the first set with much sadness and frustration only to put back in twist and rip dreads around a month and a half later. Let's just say I missed them:)

As around another month and a half passed, I was very dissatisfied with my dreads being non-freeform. I was too obsessed with them being perfect and a trip throughout Europe left me constantly putting my hair up while wet, and I grew done with the whole process. I proceeded to shave my head after that, which was fun for a while but never what I truly wanted. 

This time around I am sticking with what my heart loves and what I believe works best for my hair: freeform. Here's to hoping I will love this journey just as much as the first, and that I will approach this set with some more wisdom and tricks up my sleeve.