3 Weeks After Starting My Dreads And Loving Them!!!
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Sorry about the blurriness! My camera sucks. LOL
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Sorry about the blurriness! My camera sucks. LOL
Three weeks ago today, my roommate and my husband worked together to section and TnR (some back-combing too) my hair to start dreads! They did a great job and I love it! After just three weeks, I'm already getting quite a bit of shrinking and locking.
Here's some pics of my 9-year-old playing with my baby dreadies! She really likes playing with them!
Since using a crochet hook is very common in the UK, I'm assuming the maintenance method in question is just that. Here, on this site, the use of a crochet hook is discouraged on the grounds that it causes damage.
Well, here's my 2 cents: Do what you want---it's your hair. I've seen plenty of dreads that have been crocheted and most of them look just fine. I will not use one myself, however. One of the focal points of dreads culture is being accepting of others, right? I say live and let live.
Also, if crocheting truly is damaging and bad, then won't that be proven by leaving people alone and letting crochet their dreads and then seeing any negative outcome?
I could be totally off in my assessment of the proposed debate, but I just wanted to lay my point of view on the table.
Thank you so much Soaring Eagle! When I said in the post that you've been a good source of support and inspiration, I meant it.
Earlier today, some of you may have seen my discussion about some of the nasty things people said recently in response to my announcement (to my family) that I'm about to dread my hair...
Well also today, I chatted with my mom on Facebook and she was nagging at me to change my mind. She said a bunch of crap about how I will ruin my hair and it will look silly and blah blah blah.... Once she realized that I would never change my mind, she started getting really pissy with me and ended our conversation by saying: "Well good luck with your dreads project. Maybe there'll be a miracle and yours won't look as ridiculous as others. Good luck."
Of course, she was being sarcastic and wanted to shoot me down, since her efforts to coax me away from my decision were in vain. I decided to play dumb and thank her for her wishes of good luck. This is what I typed to her:
"I don't care if mine are uniform and perfect-looking or odd and wild. They are what they are--some are wavy, some are straight, some are thick, some are thin, some are more kinda lumpy and some are more uniform. Some even attach together or split into two and form what's called a 'congo'. For me it's not a fashion thing. It's spiritual. It represents truly letting go of vanity and not caring what others think, as dread-heads receive a great deal of rude questions and silent ostracism from their peers and the general public. And of course, you know that I like to be unique. It's a journey of learning patience, as dreadlocks can take up to a year or more to fully lock-up and reach what's called 'dread-maturity'. It's also a good way to find out who's worth your time as a friend and who's not, as starting dreads will generate a lot of different responses from the people in your life. As Dr. Seuss states: Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. Also, dreads are the most natural thing you can do for your hair. Think about it--- hair existed before combs did... In prehistoric times, everyone had dreadlocked hair, but modern society has conditioned us to look down on anything that requires little or no maintenance. (There is a difference between maintenance and hygiene.) In today's world, being 'high-maintenance' is equated to being of 'high status'. People unconsciously think to themselves: "I spend more time on myself than that person over there, therefore I'm better than him/her." I think it's bullshit. The way a person behaves defines their worth, not their appearance or 'time spent' on their hair, shaving, outfit-coordination or makeup. Also I'm doing it for practicality's sake... I want long hair, but hate brushing it--it's always been painful as I am VERY tender-headed. The solution? Dreads. I appreciate you wishing me luck, Mom. It means the world to me. Starting dreads isn't easy... I need all the support I can get and I'm so glad to know you and Mark, Lisa, Kristen and other people are behind me in my decision."
She has not replied back not that it matters... She's entitled to her opinions. She doesn't like my decision and hates even more that it's beyond her control, as she is and always has been a control-freak from Hell. She will get over it. I predict that she will be buying me beads and dread shampoo for Xmas in 10 months, even.
Also, I would like to acknowledge that person mentioned in my passage are my husband (Mark), my sister (Kristen) and our roommate (Lisa). They are, in fact, very in favor of me dreading my hair and are cheering me on.
Anyhow, I thought my statements to her were worth sharing, being that they may be inspiring to some folks who may be struggling with nosy, opinionated family members regarding their dreads. I have received a great deal of support and helpful hints from people on this site and I would like to thank them. In my short time here so far, Soaring Eagle has been a fantastic mentor and all else have been gracious comrades. I hope that what I have shared today help others feel as encouraged and loved as I have felt since joining this family of dreadies.
You're right about that! She's very intolerant and zealous. She's nasty-whasty and I avoid her... More so now than ever. All that crap she said has only reinforced my decision... When we express ourselves fully via our clothing or hair, it really does help us to find out who our true friends are. As Dr. Seuss said: Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.
Honestly, most of my family disdains my older cousin because she's a jackass. I secretly always wanted an excuse to not attend her pretentious Thanksgiving dinners any more. She provided me with the perfect excuse, in my opinion. I have a feeling that many people will be ditching her this year because of her behavior towards me and my husband. I do, in fact, have some family members who are looking forward to learning more about the dreading process.
My brother says that I have dead animals on my head lol. I only see him for a week during the holidays each year. He makes comments about people staring at me all the time that we are out in public Christmas shopping.
I have an aunt that threatens to cut my hair. She laughs when she says it...but I wouldn't spend the night at her house....just in case.
Other than that...I only get positive remarks. I actually get complements a lot. I have had many many strangers come up to me to tell me how much they love my hair...or how beautiful they think it is. Strangers never approached me about my hair pre-dreads lol. So don't worry about those negative responses, You will receive lots of complements too!! Just wait and see.
Your cousin has some issues. Her thoughts and opinions are hers. She has a right to them. Her opinions are not your business nor your responsibility. The only way they can effect you is if you let them. Do you really enjoy being in such a negative environment on Thanksgiving? Spend your day of thanks in a good, warm and loving place !!!
So I recently put out in the open with my family that I'm dreading my hair... This morning my FaceBook inbox is filled with hate-mail from family members!
My older cousin says: "I saw your post about what you're gonna do to your hair and I know the real reason you're doing this, and it aint for anything good! You've always tried to be the center of attention, but this is over the top! I'm sick of everyone saying that you're weird in a good way cause you aint! This will not make you special, just another nasty freak but that's what you've always been! Don't think you're gonna come to my house this thanksgiving with your liberal hippie shit in my face cause me and David aint having it here! We're sick of you always trying to force your views on everyone by dressing like a freak and trying to be cool! Don't have nasty freak hair or you aint welcome in my house anymore and I won't change my mind! Change your mind about this whole dreads thing before it's too late!"
*Note that these are the words of a 44-year-old woman who calls herself a professional and makes over $100,000.00 a year as a low-level executive at a major insurance company... Unbelievable...! The fact that I now know, for certain, the extent to which she is a raging c*nt, somehow I don't feel hurt by her threatening to never allow me into her house. I sent her reply, telling her that I forgive her for being such a shallow, narrow-minded, hostile person and that despite her horrible message, she will always be my cousin. Since then she has blocked me on FB. Boo-fucking-hoo...! LOL
My mother says: "Not that it's any of my business, but you really need to rethink what you want to do with your hair. You have such beautiful hair and I would hate to see you ruin it. I don't want to see you being ostracized by people too. I know you're going to do what you want to do, but I can't say that I approve of this. I hope you'll change your mind."
*As if I need her (or anyone else's) approval... My poor mother has too much time on her hands. She's upset, but she'll get over it.
One person even sent a message to my husband's inbox, begging him to stop me! He called the person on the phone and told them that I'm not his property and that he fully supports my decision and that they are welcome to fuck-off! I LOVE THAT MAN!!!
Answer me this, dready peeps... What's the worst thing anyone ever said to you about your dread? What were some of the adverse reactions you got from friends and family? Who has stood up for you? How have you stood up for yourself?
I'm okay with wildlife and weather. If it was easy, then it wouldn't be any fun would it? LOL
I hope Colorado!!! But no matter where it is, I'll be arriving in my uber-crazy painted hippie art car, I'll be bringing some crafty wares to trade and I'll be bringing my drums, my flutes and some other fun stuff!!! Woooohooooo!! I can't fuckin' wait!!!!