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I'm nervous about starting my journey again.

Hannah :)
@hannah
8 years ago
21 posts

I have tried the neglect method many times and never lasted over a month.

I want to try the twist and rip to start my dreadies off, and then let the rest happen naturally. The reason is because I think doing the neglect, I could always make it up until the point when people started saying, "Your hair looks like dreadlocks, ew." and then I would laugh and change the topic. I think maybe by starting off with twist n rip, it boldly says "Here I am. I have dreadlocks." and then I would be past the stage that stopped me from continuing my journey in the past.

The problem is, I'm only 15 and although I know that it doesn't matter what others think, I'm scared to death. High school can be a scary place, and I'm well aware that my hair is going to look like shit until it matures. I am one of the people at school that is friendly with everyone, and the second I do something like this, I am going to get a lot of attention for it- attention that I do not want.

To add to that, Im going away for 2 weeks in June with a big group of teenagers that I do not know. I'm worried about giving off a good first impression too, I don't know why this stresses me out.

Lastly, just a random question, when I tried in the past I ended up being annoyed by the feeling of matted messy hair sometimes. and I missed my soft hair a bunch. I know in the end I want dreadlocks because I KEEP coming back to them, I love them. how do I get past this feeling?

Thank you all so much in advance! love ya dreadheads


updated by @hannah: 02/14/15 12:26:07PM
Baba Fats
@baba-fats
8 years ago
2,702 posts

I'm 27 and still, sometimes, want to give off a good first impression. I think everyone does. Obviously, locks are going to prevail. They will give off the first impression, no matter where you go, or who you meet.

But you'll have to push through that. If people are turned off, let them be. Don't write them off right away, though. If you just act like yourself, they may see past your hair. If they don't then they aren't worth trying to get on your good side.

You seem like an intelligent, self aware person. You know that you don't need to be friends with everyone you meet. And you know that not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone liked Ghandi. Not everyone liked MLK. And yet both were peaceful and respectful people, even to those who hated them. No matter how nice and friendly and kind you are to everyone you meet, they may not like you.

So don't let how your hair looks dictate how you want your first impression to go.

All that said, TnR is not a method to "make" locks. It only creates a rough blueprint for where you want your sections to be. More than likely, they will come unravled and untangled in your first few washes. Then you'll be back to having the goofy looking hair that makes up the early stages of locks for eveyone.

You'll get attention. Some will be good, some will be bad. As they mature, less of the attention will be bad. More will be positive or admiration. What about the attention are you afraid of? That people will think you're dirty? Or that they will find names to call you? Maybe they'll pick on you?

Face it, like you said in the post, HS is a scary place. People there pick on everyone for anything they can. I don't know what your schools demographic is, but I'll bet there are some cliques. Even if they aren't well defined. You'll probably get lumped in with the hippies (if you aren't already). So what. Dreadlocks are the perfect filter for bad energy.

Trust me. You do not EVER want to be the person that comes out of hs saying it was the best time of their lives. Those people find out that in college, they are miserable, because they start off at the bottom rung all over again. it's better to be weird and sociable than it is to be cool and loved by all. While there are cliques in college, too, people are much more accepting. And they appreciate you more for being yourself.

I was the only kid in my hs, of all grades, who wore all black, black leather trench, black nailpolish, eyeliner, dyed purple/red/blue/green hair (sometime all at the same time), chains, spikes, mohawks, you name it. There was no one else even close to looking like me.

You get used to the stares, the comments, the judging. All you need to be is comfortable with yourself. If locks make you feel uncomfortable with how people look at you, then maybe you should wait a little while before starting. If you think you can handle it, go for it. They aren't hard to comb out in the really early stages. Hopefully as they mature, you will become more comfortable with your first impression.

But you never know until you try it and stick with it. This time, maybe stick with it longer than the first few "eww's".

NaturalDreads01
@naturaldreads01
8 years ago
170 posts

aww, that's too bad you are having some problems starting your locks. Luckily, I was able to start mine all natural during my summer break. What part of June are you going to be away for? Because if school is the main problem of you not starting them, you could try starting them during your summer break. I am not sure how you usually spend your summer breaks though, so I could not say whether or not this would be a good idea for you or not. As I once commented before on another one of your discussions, going all natural is well worth it, and as I also said I am also in High-School, and I would agree that it can be quite intimidating. Now, if you aren't able to do this during the summer when you are away from school, I guess that TnR wouldn't be a bad idea. Honestly before I decided to get locks, I was the kind of short-haired clean-shaven bodybuilding kind of a kid, and I am/was also very friendly with everybody. Since I have decided to lock my hair I have also decided to allow my facial hair to grow. Yes I will admit I did lose a couple of friends, but looking back on it, I also realize that those were the exact people who liked me for someone who I was not. I will also admit, now about half of my school calls me Jesus, hahaha. I am not a huge fan of this, but I am not going to let it deter me from me being who I am. This also goes to show, that if it is your friends giving you this negative attention for who you truly believe you to be, then they aren't really friends with who you are. People around you, if they truly care about you, they will change with you and grow into loving who you truly are instead of loving what they made you into.

NaturalDreads01
@naturaldreads01
8 years ago
170 posts

Maybe one way you could get past the feeling of not liking the feeling of your hair is to wear a hat/tam here and there. This way you won't be so obligated to touch your hair.

NaturalDreads01
@naturaldreads01
8 years ago
170 posts

And as I said, TnR, if you don't want to go natural would be a good idea. And as I said, whether you go natural or TnR, I think maybe waiting til you are on summer break could help... I do support your idea of doing TnR, because I do understand the intimidation, and I know it isn't easy to do these kinds of things while going to high school.

the Barrellady
@the-barrellady
8 years ago
1,302 posts

Hi Hannah, I hear where you are coming from for a 15 year old, other kids can be very mean verbally on the appearance of your hair.

The next best thing to the neglect method is the Twist & Rip (T&R) method, so good choice. If you start now, they will not look all crazy and loopy by June, so you should be okay when you go away with other teenagers you do not know. In fact, they may think it is really cool that you are dreading your hair, just explain to them that it is a journey of growing healthy dreadlocks if they ask.

At first, your hair may feel a little rough due to doing the T&R on them, but dreads are soft, can be as soft as your undreaded hair if you use the right shampoos and no blowdryers on it.

So the best way to start T&R is to let you hair section naturally if you can. That means no more brushing or combing it. You will be washing it every 2-3 days still, using a friendly dread shampoo and never using store bought conditioners. Don't wrap a towel around your hair, just let the water drip off, sway your head back and forth when done showering and gently, yes gently pat your hair dry. No rubbing & no wrapping it up. My tip is to use a towel the same color as your hair, dreads love towel lint.

If you can buy the shampoo from DreadlockShampoo.com, I recommend the liquid form for dreads just starting out.

So if you can let your hair separate naturally for a couple of weeks, that's great, that is the best way, that's what I did first. Within a couple of weeks you will see definable sections of hair. Now before I tell you how to T&R, I should mention that the section of hair, where it meets the scalp, should be no larger than 1 inch. When the sections mature, they will be as fat as where the hair meets the scalp. Anything larger takes much longer to dry when mature. Fat dreads, or congos as they are known by, can take up to 36 hours to dry when mature. So that is why 1" or less is recommended, but the choice is yours.

To do T&R, you will not be going TWIST, RIP, TWIST, RIP, TWIST, RIP, that will give you a braided look and you don't want that. You will go RIP, RIP, RIP, TWIST, RIP RIP RIP RIP, TWIST & so on. There is a video on this site how to do T&R that you can watch to learn how to do it yourself, if you get a friend to help, you can't feel how tight they are doing them, you don't want them really tight. I did mine over 3 days and the arms do get sore, but just sit on the floor with a large mirror and put on the television and start, do as much as your arms can take that day. Then do some more the next. Don't put rubber bands on the ends, they can melt into the hair. You can leave them as they are or you can put beads on the tips. The easy way to put on beads is to use dental floss. Fold it in half, pass it through the bead and make a loop. Put the end of your section in the loop and then pull the dental floss through the bead, it will pull your hair through. If it is too tough on some, it just means they are too fat for that bead. You don't want to damage your hair trying to force it through the bead, so just leave it alone.

If you want your hair to look more like dreads for when you go away, you can wrap them with embroidery floss which you can buy cheaply at dollar stores in the craft section. There are so many colors if you want or just buy it in the same color as your hair. To use this, you will fold it in half & tie it at the top of your section, but not too tight, wrap it around loosely a couple of times up there, and then start coming down your dread wrapping one strand in one direction and the other strand of thread in the other direction, making a criss cross method as your come down. You can criss cross every 1/4 - 1/2 inch. There is also a video on here to show how to do that.

To find videos, use the search bar near the top left of this site and type in key words, like Embroidery thread wrap, or twist & rip video, and click the search button. Other members postings on whatever subject you type in will pop up for you.

I had to step away to make supper for the family, so if someone put up a post already, sorry if I repeat anything. So, where was I?

Essential oils will help keep it soft, and so will Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) when used as a final rinse for your hair. (1 capful to 5 cups of water & pour over head after washing it, and rinse it out within one minute or right away even, this is a healthy conditioner for your hair) For the first couple of weeks you will not use this at all, let your hair separeate, if you are doing it that way. If ever you wash with the Baking Soda (BS) recipe found on this site, always use the ACV as a final rinse or you hair WILL dry out.

Doing T&R, you will go through a stage of the frizzies, I don't remember how long it takes when first twisting. Don't tie up your hair, let them be free and loose. Don't wear tight hats. If you know someone who knits, have them make you a really loose hat, like a tam to wear if you feel really messy that day. We all have down days about the journey, no matter what age we are. No crochet hooks. No wax. No gels.

I think that is it to get you started, if you have question, you can ask me or post the question and others will help you out. Have fun with your journey, embrace the changes and the crazy ride it will take you on during the first year. It sounds silly, but you will grow from within by taking the journey of growing your own dreadlocks. They will mature 1-2 years from when you begin, and in 3 years will be beautiful healthy locks that will last you a lifetime. Have fun on your trip and meet new people...Peace

NaturalDreads01
@naturaldreads01
8 years ago
170 posts

I think I should also share that I dressed quite similar as to how Baba explained how he dressed before i got into Highschool, so I guess this kind of prepared me, in showing me what it was like to not be like everyone else when it came to clothing.

the Barrellady
@the-barrellady
8 years ago
1,302 posts

Wow, I actually did forget something. Don't freak out when your T&R sections you made loosen up or have some fall out, just don't retwist them. They do this in order to start looping and shrinking to become mature dreads. Those T&R sections are the blueprints to your dreads, not actual dreads at all in the beginning. All is fine when this happens....Peace

the Barrellady
@the-barrellady
8 years ago
1,302 posts

Ha Ha Baba Fats, there still isn't anyone who quite looks like you!

Baba Fats
@baba-fats
8 years ago
2,702 posts

Ha, you'd be suprised. There are at least 3 members here who look just like at first glance. They aren't active anymore, but I'm sure if you looked, you'd find them. It was like looking into a mirror when they first joined

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