NEED EMERGENCY HELP!

OK - SO i was supposed to be happy about my fabulous dreads - and I am - but only about 1/2 of them.

I have 1/2 head of great 3 month old dreads and a mess/knot on the other. This is the poster dread for not maintaining them properly! I have used oil, water, patience, friends, and much to my chagrin (sp?) conditioner....that was the advise of dready friend - so sad.....I DO NOT WANT TO CUT 1/2 MY HAIR OFF. Is there another way> I can handle pain -
updated by @peacelovinmama: 02/14/15 06:31:54AM

wow how did that happen from tying them back? what u wanna use is olive oil and lots of itand carefully seperate em wet the hair 1st then use olive oil (only on the 1 u need to seperate) and pull it apart u might need to snip some connecting hairs carefully just to release em enough but do so with a surgical precision only a few strands at a time only ss needed


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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Thanks so much SE! Yes - from tying them back. We should have a wat not to do forum - in addition to maintenance...so so so sad. The good side is PERFECT! They are beautiful. I will take a pic once we get this crazy ball-o-dread sorted out to show you. You will be so proud. I am really glad that I listened to you in the beginning about thinning out the dreads I had started. THey are skinny and SO CUTE. Also - you were right about losing length - about 1/3 so far.Talk soon.

wow thats looks nutz ... reminds me of that pic se posted of the guy with one big dread off the back of his head ..... I wonder if thats what that guy did

OK - so after using copious amounts of olive oil, love, pain, patience, surgical scissors, and tears - this is where I have gotten.Again - the left side of my head is PERFECT. The right side is now in about 5 crazy congos. They hurt badly - as they are pulling from all directions. I do not know if it is possible to seperate what is on my (bad side oNLY) head right now. I am thinking about cutting all of my hair to the length of the shortest hair on the bad side - and to continue dreading from there. I will look a bit funny - as the other side is really dreading up nicely. They are thin, though. So maybe it will not look as silly as it seems.Something you should know is that i have NEVER had short hair. I have cried at least one lake so far. My hair has always been my crown, my personality, my love. I am learning (already) about humility and losing vanity. I am in constant pain now with my hair.I guess I am writing wondering what you think I should do. Advice from like-minded people. Has anyone else been here before. My hair was 3 feet long before now - and has not been shorter than 2 feet since i was a very small child.Looking for anything positive. If you have something negative - save it. Need good energy now!Thanks all!!!

updated by @peacelovinmama: 02/05/15 10:12:49AM

updated by @peacelovinmama: 02/05/15 10:12:49AM

well..i almost feel like shooting myself for suggesting this butthis is 1 case where possibly a really really good loctician might actualy be a good idea but id do an extensive interview 1stits looking better and the huge congos probly wont look too bad once they heal a lil right now just look lil tore up wich is understandable its about a 50% improvementcan u live with the fat dreads ? if so give em time see what they do and keep em well seperated..if not well concider other options before u concider cutting where r u at i can see if anyone knows anyone close w3ho can help outmy main concern with alot more ripping is dammage to your scalp


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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

oh you poor thing! I am sooooo sorry. When I was a kid of about 12 I had hair to my knees...and I had always had it, or so it seemed. I thought somehow that short hair would make me look older and sophisticated so I begged my mom to cut mine to my chin! My hair had been my identity. All the kids in my school knew me as the "girl with the beautiful, long, red hair. The day we cut it I felt it fall to the ground and as I looked in the mirror my heart sunk...it wasn't me anymore (or atleast this is how I felt). I went to school and the first kid I saw was my childhood crush..he blurted out..."You look ugly...you look like a boy!" I ran out to the field and cried my heart out. After awhile a couple of my girlfriends came out to find me. I was so embarrassed. The beautiful thing was that even at 12 these girls were very wise and they had been my friends for a long time. They just sat quietly for awhile, letting me get the pain and disappointment out. I looked at my friend and said, "I look ugly huh?" She said the greatest thing..."You look diffferent. Your hair was really pretty and we all wished we had it...because you are nice and you had pretty hair too. You are lucky...but you are still nice. That is why we are friends with you." It just made me feel alot better, because it was the truth. Being a hairstylist for over 3 decades, I have seen people who experienced this same disappointment. Not because the style they got was ugly but because it changed how they saw themselves. I cut this one ladies hair very short on her whim and while looking in the mirror she burst into tears. About then her husband came in and she turned to look at him...I will never forget this amazing man. He looked his wife straight in the eye and said, "Damn, don't you look sexy!" And it made all the difference...because it was the truth. Don't be afraid to look past one great thing about yourself and for the first time really see all the other amazing parts that make up you! Blessings and love sister.

Well - first I just have to say to panterra - I am crying. Thanks for showing me how to think about this situation. You are special. Thank you so much for taking the time to share yourself with me. I guess it would be okay to try and see other positive attributes of myself. I don't do much self affirming anything these days. Again - thanks - it means a lOT.SE - I am in the dead center of the state of Colorado.

I don't think I would see a loctician - unless you recomended one based on personal knowledge of the person. (Not sure I could afford it anyway :P) It hurts so bad right now - just because of the congos themselves. Hair is coming from every different direction into each congo - and it is just excrutiating.I think i can live with fat dreads - I would just probably try to work some of my skinny dreads from the other side into thicker ones. I just cannot live with this pain for much longer, though. I DO NOT want to cut - I just feel a little hopeless right now.
updated by @peacelovinmama: 02/05/15 10:12:49AM

You are welcome hunie. I meant every word too. I wish I could be there to help. I was thinking...until you can figure out something...maybe you could put on a tam (just for now). Not only will it kinda let you forget for a sec..but more importantly, it may relieve some of the pulling from the congos hanging down so you are not in such pain. Sending healing light....
peacelovinmama said:

Well - first I just have to say to panterra - I am crying. Thanks for showing me how to think about this situation. You are special. Thank you so much for taking the time to share yourself with me. I guess it would be okay to try and see other positive attributes of myself. I don't do much self affirming anything these days. Again - thanks - it means a lOT.

SE - I am in the dead center of the state of Colorado.

I don't think I would see a loctician - unless you recomended one based on personal knowledge of the person. (Not sure I could afford it anyway :P) It hurts so bad right now - just because of the congos themselves. Hair is coming from every different direction into each congo - and it is just excrutiating.

I think i can live with fat dreads - I would just probably try to work some of my skinny dreads from the other side into thicker ones. I just cannot live with this pain for much longer, though. I DO NOT want to cut - I just feel a little hopeless right now.