I took my dread extensions out then I left him, and then I took my dreads out.

The extensions made me feel like a fake. The fact that I backcombed t&r and crocheted a little made me feel like a fake. My real dreads were up to my ears, Im letting my hair grow much longer before I do my dreads the natural way. If your new to the whole dread thing I would recomend going natural. there's a certain beauty in the process and the look, the way they form. It's all so beautiful. The reason why I got dreads in the first place was because they looked cool and my boyfriend thought it'd be cool if I got them( a fake reason too -_-. But me and him are going through some rough times and he's yanking at my heart on a daily basis, almost leaving me time and time again, starring at other girls while I'm with him, saying he's confused, and asking me questions about things he knows will hurt me. I left him 3 nights ago and thats when I brushed them out. It took me an hour. Me and my bf are back together and things are getting better, But it's only been 3 days. I plan on healing myself before I re-start my journey, Cause now I'm in a mild state of depression. I will start my natural dreads in about a year (:
updated by @ciaralynne-altiery: 01/13/15 08:43:16PM

I understand you're quite young right? You have a lot of years ahead of you to live life, grow beautiful dreads, discover feelings as you mature (I'm sure you're very aware of your emotions now but time can do strange & amazing things) and find true happiness in the things you choose to do. If you feel this is the right thing for you at this point in your life then it must be. Good luck, I'm sure everyone here has positive vibes to offer and would love to see you stay in touch dreads or not.

your part of our family now youir not going nowhere dreaded or notbut sweetyu been with him forever and u keep going back to what u know..even thoigh what you know makes u miserableits still familiar theres a comfort in the pain because its constant it remains u can trust that pain to be there day after day i understand why you keep going back but its not helping u\u were away 3 days.. 3 days is a long weekend do you forget what u dind at work on friday by the time u return mo day? no the weekends no vacation u need something else not a day off but a real change u vacation at least if not a permenant move onto a better place..since u got her months ago its been nothing but i love triston..but..hes doing this hes doing that hes hurting u hes hurting u hes hurting u and your self esteem plummeted (except when u had the boosst u got from your dreads..fake or not) but if the dreads were fake then what is the relationship? it seems like being together cause u been together not cause u want to be together is the norm here your not with eachother for any other reason then because u are with eachother and have been with eachother as long as u can rememberim not trying to be harsh or add to confusion all im saying is..if u move on..there will be somewhere worth moving on to and i think thats your fear isnt it? u feel if u did leave u wouldnt have anywhere to go..but thats not true when u feel trapped stuck in 1 place getting unstuck opens all directions to tyou all possibilities u can then go anywhere do anything and be with asny\one who makes u happychoose to be happy


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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

This was truly beautiful and I think SE is right. You need to do what you can for you, not for anyone else, to make you happy.The fear of leaving is always the worst part. Thinking you are going to be alone and not knowing what lies ahead, but just like everything else in life, it's a chance we must take and you'll come out feeling brighter and better at the other side.I hope everything works out for you and you find peace in whatever you do

soaringeagle said:

your part of our family now youir not going nowhere dreaded or notbut sweetyu been with him forever and u keep going back to what u know..even thoigh what you know makes u miserableits still familiar theres a comfort in the pain because its constant it remains u can trust that pain to be there day after day i understand why you keep going back but its not helping u\u were away 3 days.. 3 days is a long weekend do you forget what u dind at work on friday by the time u return mo day? no the weekends no vacation u need something else not a day off but a real change u vacation at least if not a permenant move onto a better place..since u got her months ago its been nothing but i love triston..but..hes doing this hes doing that hes hurting u hes hurting u hes hurting u and your self esteem plummeted (except when u had the boosst u got from your dreads..fake or not) but if the dreads were fake then what is the relationship? it seems like being together cause u been together not cause u want to be together is the norm here your not with eachother for any other reason then because u are with eachother and have been with eachother as long as u can rememberim not trying to be harsh or add to confusion all im saying is..if u move on..there will be somewhere worth moving on to and i think thats your fear isnt it? u feel if u did leave u wouldnt have anywhere to go..but thats not true when u feel trapped stuck in 1 place getting unstuck opens all directions to tyou all possibilities u can then go anywhere do anything and be with asny\one who makes u happychoose to be happy

Thank you for your kind words and all. and SE before these last four months,he loved me like no ones ever loved me and currently im in love with him so it makes it hard to leave. I used to have the upper hand in our relationship so everytime he pulled a bad move id end it. But the situation goes ALOT deeper then just me and him. Theres re alot of other reasons why im so attached, he was like a big bandaid when I was going through some really hard struggles. But I guess I stick around because I was in his position before. I didnt know if I wanted him, I said mean things to him, and on top of that I left him for someone else and im sure all of you know what it feels like to lose someone you truely love. I was really imature and broke his heart the meanest way possible because I liked the power, he'd cry and ask for me back which made me feel wanted but now I realize that was really stupid and cruel. Now I'm truely willing to say I will never hurt him intentionally ever again, Im ready to make it work, no arguments, just discussions.the end. But he's the kind of person who holds grudges and I think what he's doing to me is sorta like pay back. which is wrong. But the second I said I'm leaving cause im sick of your shit, he was ok with it at first but then he freaked out and blew up my phone telling me how hurt he was about what i did to him and how he's sorry he hurt me. it would never happen again he loved me i was his world ladadadada. And so far he's been good. I told him this was his last straw and if he really wanted me, he'd throw in the extra effort because I am beautiful,smart,talented and amazing and if he doesnt want me there plenty of fish in the water that would. He's at a stage of his life where he thinks he wants one thing but its really not what he wants if that makes since? Therefore he thinks he doesnt want me but he really does, or he wants to go to public school but then once he gets it he wants to go to private school again. I think we kinda hit the sweet restart button 4 days ago, but we'll see if we make it.

good luck just think if u 2 are goonna make it u both gotta stop games and work at ithope it works out


--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1