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:( le sigh. Vanity problemos

10 years ago
153 posts
Ok, I don't mean to bug you guys. But lately, everyones been on me about my hair. In my family, I'm pretty much the one with all thei weight on their shoulders. Most of them females in my fam fam whored out or had babies really young. And I'm the oldest. So needless to say, everyone puts a lot of pressure on me with eeeeeeverything because I'm the good girl who never does anything bad. For whatever reason, everyones always been all up on my hair. No lies, when I'm around everyone talks about my hair and my virginity. Which doesn't bother me all that much lol. That's not the issue. The issue is now I'm locking my hair. And now everyone making me feel really terrible about it. You'd think I shot someone. my moms dissapointed, my uncles, everyone. And they're all making ne feel really bad about. I think I could cry. It's mostly because I'm the only girl who never cut their hair and aparently long hair is a big deal. I do miss my hair and waves and curls. But then I remember all the hell and having to brush it excessively to get passed the mass of tangles. I don't regret locking. Not at all. My hair was my greatest vanity, and I needed to get over it to ground me and my spirit. I've never been so happy nor loved myself as much as I do now. I don't think I'm the most gorgeous or anything like that. But I never felt as beautiful will flat irokned hair, carefully tweezed eyebrows and mske up as I do now with messy hair and all my body and facial hair grown out. But even with someone with thick skin can still get afflicted by the sharp wordssurrounding them. I'm just glad everyone decided to say something a month into me locking. Lol no turning back now. I just want to know what helps you guys get through peoples negative words.
updated by @zeefighter: 02/14/15 12:18:43PM
neil coe
10 years ago
361 posts
i dont know really, haven't encountered any harsh words, but i woutld say hang in there, it can be tough some times, but you cant let other peoples words or opinions get in the way of a journey that means so much to you, and even if they cant see it now, once your hair is all dreaded up, i think maybe they will realize to except ya, in the early messy stage it can be hard for some people to understand whats the point of walking around all messy, thats not normal. or atleast in their minds............. and you are very beautiful, but i think you will look alot better once you locks become mature, Dreads are just sexy lol so you will be more sexy lol idk just my thoughts
10 years ago
390 posts
Even if the "Other people" are your family members. Stop caring about what other people think. Your family may not like your dreadlocks now. However: 1) They will eventually. 2) There is always going to be another individual who likes them just as much as you do. The sooner you stop caring, the sooner you can become more peaceful with yourself. The more peaceful you become with yourself that same peace will begin to impact other people. When that happens, what matters is the depth of the peace they are experiencing not how you happen to look.
10 years ago
844 posts
eventually it grows on them, especially as they mature, my mom always had the worst things to say about mine, and comments on how she was going to cut them (lol)you have to let them know you really want to do this, and you can joke about it, but stop trying to tell me what to do with my hair, it's mine.alot of what your facing is shock reactions, but in my experiences, alot of the same people who said they hated what I'm doing have a complete change of opinion after awhile. though close family who disapproved will always tell you they liked your curly hair better.just let them know this is a positive change you want to make in your life, and you'll deal with it as you see fit :)
10 years ago
849 posts
Don't let em get to you mama! Feel good about yourself and even if they never like them they'll eventually get sick of saying it. If you remain unaffected by their harsh words there will be no reason for them to say anything. If you let them see that it is bothering you they might not stop until they think they can get you to cut. Good Luck and Be strong!
Shuaib ahmed
10 years ago
154 posts
just ignore them, ignorant people will always try to put others down because they don't know anything. best thing to do is tune out, i do it with my family now and its rather fun. just tune out and start daydreaming :D x
10 years ago
569 posts
The fact that I don't care what people think and the people who matter to me don't care what I decide to do. They are loyal to me in whatever decisions that I make. That is true unconditional love.
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
10 years ago
29,443 posts
i just laugh at em and realiae that they are miserable and thats why they act that way you are happy why should u ever feel bad about being happy

30 years growing dreadlocks the natural way
My dreads are over 10 feet long

also on the board of, and a student glider pilot with freedoms wings international - soaring for people with disabilities
Island Mamma
10 years ago
530 posts
I know how you feel a wee bit. I have the good hair in my family and pretty much every where I go. My brother is the only one negative about it (to my face anyway). He calls dreads shit locks and says I'm wrecking my hair why would I do that? You have perfect hair whats wrong with you? He stopped now that he knows I am really going through wit it.In the words of Bob Marley You gotta stand up for your rights.You can please some people sometimes but you can't please all the people all the time!
10 years ago
153 posts
Thanks guys. I'm not getting rid of my dreads. For anyone. It was a covenant I made with the most high. However, I don't like to make my family feel dissapointed or anything. They face enough of that. It's always nice to be around others who face an issue you face so someone who knows can help you get through it. Really means a lot. :3
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