dreaddy family in need of all sorts of advice

hello all, i am new to the site and loving it! wanted to put my story up in case anyone can offer some support or advice. i am a momma of 2 dreaddy babes, and both my husband and i have recently restarted our own dreads.

the longest running dreads in our family are those of my 5-yr old daughters... she has never had a haircut and they were started about 8 months ago and run almost down to her butt... our starting methods were primitive and uninformed: backcombing, elastics, some lock-accelorating gel, and a few months of wax. the only reason i started waxing her dreads was because she got lice very early on. unfortunately, everything we have tried to get rid of them has failed so far. now we are all infested. we have done the store-bought leave-in spray, vinegar soaks (overnight), tried smothering them in wax (now left with a huge mess to clean up and not sure how to go about that) also, her dreads dont seem to be locking up properly, they are very wispy still, most are flat, with curls of virgin hair coming out in all directions... will post a pic if i can get ahold of a camera (my darling sent my iphone swimming) the last issue i can think of with her hair is the black gunk left behind from the elastics... was wondering if there is a better way of getting clumps out than just pulling them out with my fingers, and tearing up whatever dread its in...?

my husband has very curly hair, almost "black hair" for a white boy... his hair was not even shoulder length when we dreadded it... and he wanted big nasty thick dreads, so we started with 13. he had a large one on his crown which has broken itsself down into several smaller ones, and now he is wishing they were all that size, because they are forming so much faster than his big ones. he also did a few dreads with the interlocking method (weaving the dread thru a hole in the root) and now they all kind of just stick to his head. i'm hoping time and growth will fix this issue, but if anyone has any tips, we'd sure appreciate them. he kind of looks like a brillo pad now, since his dreads stick to his head, and all his loose hairs are so curly

as for myself, i started mine at the same time as my husband. my hair is very white... straight and baby fine, the type that won't hold a braid. we both initially backcombed them, but, as usual, the knots slipped out within a week, so we took to twist and rip which was much more effective. once they were all ripped, we both also used a crochet hook to tame them, because we were both job hunting (and both found work with new crazy-looking dreads, very happy). i have done some palm rolling, but not daily. now some knots are slipping out again, but only to a point; the top half of my dreads are staying in, so i'm hoping that, again, time will heal all. i feel very poofy right now, and am a bit OCD about my hair, but i'm learning to get over it. just wondering if i should keep TnR'ing the bottoms of the dreads or leave them.

my son is almost 3 and wanted dreads but did not want to endure the pain he watched the rest of us go thru during the backcombing process... he fought with me anytime i tried to brush his hair (he has also never had a haircut), so i just stopped and let it do its thing. now he is getting some good form, tho he has a massive beaver tail in the back at the base of his neck. i am wondering if i should break it down into smaller ones so it doesn't become problematic later; the rest of his free formed ones are all pretty small and beautiful...

we dont do a whole lot as far as cleaning regimen. i use a lil BS in the shower, just pepper it on and rub it into my scalp, mostly to relieve itching. then i rinse with vinegar, and let it foam up on my head. feels awesome. not sure my husband has even washed his yet, and my kids don't get much more than BS when they're in the tub... only wash maybe 1-2x/wk. i need to deal with the lice before our hair locks up too much more. that is my #1 priority. was looking to make a homemade shampoo or leave-in spray that will both benefit our dreads as well as treat the lil buggers. anyone have an awesome recipe to share? i have looked a bit at the ones on this site, but not sure which is best and will handle everything i need... and be good for all our different hair types.

so thats about it... or at least thats all i can think of that needs to be shared. any tips on any of our issues are truly welcomed, we do not want to lose our dreads, we can't wait until they are all formed enough to have some awesome family photos thank you all, blessed be. )0( /|\

updated by @indiga-silverhawk: 02/14/15 03:29:51AM

Oh lordy, I dont know where to start.. things you shouldnot do to healthy dreads; wax, interlock, crochet, and re TnRing them. The reason your daughters hair is not locking is probably because of the wax, hair needs to be clean in order to create friction and dread. I reccomend the Wax B Gone from the dreadslocksshampoo.com site, even if it was only used a few times. As for the lice, I would message Soaring Eagle or any of the other Dread Gurus. I hope everything goes well for you.

Also! Some awesome soap that will make your hair loc faster can be found on Dreadlocksshampoo.com (lockin up liquid). Seriously. It will make your locs go crazy in all the best ways.

Split that beaver tail. I think he is too small to have a huge dread. You will get more advice on the lice from others that know that better. Get the wax out, no more backcombing. Natural is best, especially for the little ones. Your husbands hair you will have to leave to heal, no more interlocking, get a good dread soap, clean hair is 100% the best way to dread.

Peace and blessing.

thanks guys. split the beaver tail tonight... he wasn't too thrilled, but he's a trooper. passing the other info along to the fam. pretty sure we are going natural from here out... oh, and Cori: my daughter's new growth is dreading just fine, its the length that's looking all crazy... most the wax has been washed out of that. but will look into a deep clean... i'm no online buyer by any means, lol. prefer to do it myself.

you need 70 percent rubbing alcohol to sit on your heads under plastic for 15 to 30 minutes ever 3 days for 9 days to get rid of the lice. Along with that you can use neem seed oil to destroy there reproduction. Also change out all the bedding and such. Tea tree oil is supposed to prevent lice so that might be helpful to pick up too. Good luck getting rid of the bugs!

p.s. there are many ways to get rid of lice this is just the most diy. Idk how putting alcohol on a kids head is gunna work out for you.

p.p.s the alcohol burns a little but feels almost good and will clean up any bites they may have taken out.

Wow... I sure hope you aren't sending your kids to school with lice. Personally I wouldn't worry about anything but getting rid of the bugs! It's just not healthy! Organic, natural, residue, whatever... get rid of the bugs. I'd be quite upset if my kids went to school with your little guys. It's horribly disrespectful to put other's through the whole lice thing. Get some lice shampoo and some lice spray and get the bugs gone. Think about other people PLEASE! You're spreading them around!
I find it odd that you're worried about separating and how to shampoo and well... EVERYTHING else, while there are bugs crawling around in your hair, and I'm absolutely positive that you've passed them on to other people.
You seem really nice and sincere, but have your priorities completely out of whack Please take care of this, for your families health and so other's don't have to deal with it. And forgive me for being so blunt about it. You can ask others here, I'm not a mean or disrespectful person, but my family had lice, and I later found we got it from some dear friends of ours that wouldn't take care of it. We're no longer friends, because I couldn't stand getting lice everytime they came around. Please don't do that to your friends and family. My daughter also had a horrible reaction to the lice shampoo, and my mother an sisters got them from us. It made our lives miserable for quite some time. If you can't think of anything else, at least realize what you may be putting those close to you through....

Good luck and take care and don't hate me...

I don't know anything about lice but I have seen a few posts on that around here if you want to do a search.I do want to note that when you do your baking soda wash, rinse it out completely before applying the apple cider vinegar. The bubbly/foamy reaction is not the kind you want on your scalp. Doing BS then ACV separately helps to restore the PH balance on your scalp. Washing regularly (1-2x a week) will help the dreading process too, as oily/greasy hair is too slippery to knot. Good luck!

wow thanks for that. no shit, i want them gone! thats why i said that is my #1 priority... and my kids arent in school, they are home with me. i got them from friends that lied too. so... thanks for looking down your nose at me. i came here for help, not judgement. i get enough of that in real life, don't need it from strangers. to anyone else reading this, if you have nothing constructive to say, don't comment.

amethyst777 said:

Wow... I sure hope you aren't sending your kids to school with lice. Personally I wouldn't worry about anything but getting rid of the bugs! It's just not healthy! Organic, natural, residue, whatever... get rid of the bugs. I'd be quite upset if my kids went to school with your little guys. It's horribly disrespectful to put other's through the whole lice thing. Get some lice shampoo and some lice spray and get the bugs gone. Think about other people PLEASE! You're spreading them around!
I find it odd that you're worried about separating and how to shampoo and well... EVERYTHING else, while there are bugs crawling around in your hair, and I'm absolutely positive that you've passed them on to other people.
You seem really nice and sincere, but have your priorities completely out of whack Please take care of this, for your families health and so other's don't have to deal with it. And forgive me for being so blunt about it. You can ask others here, I'm not a mean or disrespectful person, but my family had lice, and I later found we got it from some dear friends of ours that wouldn't take care of it. We're no longer friends, because I couldn't stand getting lice everytime they came around. Please don't do that to your friends and family. My daughter also had a horrible reaction to the lice shampoo, and my mother an sisters got them from us. It made our lives miserable for quite some time. If you can't think of anything else, at least realize what you may be putting those close to you through....

Good luck and take care and don't hate me...

what is the difference as far as pH between acv and reg vinegar? i have both...
i use reg vinegar to clean everything, bought the acv the other day cuz i kept seeing people say to use that, but haven't washed yet.

Kelsey Cliche! said:

I don't know anything about lice but I have seen a few posts on that around here if you want to do a search.

I do want to note that when you do your baking soda wash, rinse it out completely before applying the apple cider vinegar. The bubbly/foamy reaction is not the kind you want on your scalp. Doing BS then ACV separately helps to restore the PH balance on your scalp. Washing regularly (1-2x a week) will help the dreading process too, as oily/greasy hair is too slippery to knot. Good luck!