Nightmare about losing my dreads

I recently ended some temporary contract work that I was doing as full employment. It took up 40 hours of my week or more and paid not great but included health insurance so I kept it for a bit. It ended the end of october but officially on Nov 1 so per their policy I have insurance until the end of November. I've never been unemployed, maybe a few weeks between jobs when I moved (4 weeks, but I was hired just didn't start yet) and that whole week or so you always have when you leave one job for another. I've been working since I was 14 years old, so I'm used to working. This recent assignment was temporary and I knew it going in, and my partner wanted me to just let it end, and not get another job but take on a few more classes each semester and focus fully on finishing my degree.We had talked about this a lot, mainly because I had worked 2 jobs a year ago while also taking classes just so I could save up a down payment for a house, which I did and we bought it earlier this year. Because of all the working I took summer off of school, which I normally don't do, and when this temporary gig came up I discussed it and took it and now I'm supposed to just not work, and next semester I'll be loading up on the classes (I am only taking 3 classes right now). He got a second job so that our bills wont pile up, and I had worked and paid our bills while he finished school (though only the last year, I didn't know him before then) so he feels like it's my turn to go to school without the stress of a job. I'm excited for it but wary, because I've never not worked before.The first week was ok, like having time off or something, the second week started to feel weird, and now, it's been 3 weeks, and I'm just feeling like finding another job or something, at least part time, whatever, small contract, SOMETHING, I am just feeling idle. It's not like I have nothing to do, there are a lot of unfinished projects from when we first moved in and keeping the house clean is a job itself, but I think I'm just anxious from the whole idea of not working.I think this caused a nightmare that I've had twice now. In it I condition and comb out my dreads and my hair is straight and just as long as it was before I dreaded (which is unlikely because if I tried to comb out now I know I'd have short hair). I also take out my piercings temporarily (not something I do anymore, now when I interview it's the whole package, hire me for my skill not my looks, though at the right price I'd hide them a bit) and I went to this job interview for this job I didn't even want. When the interview was over I was SO upset that I combed out my dreads, because I felt like it was 5 months of progress down the drain. At the end I am backcombing to re-dread.When I woke up I immediately felt my head to make sure they were there. I would have cried if they weren't. I think the dream was maybe my brain trying to ask me if I was sure I was still ok with having dreads, or because of the fear of not working, or both, but it was traumatic and the second time I had the dream I was upset because me combing out dreads or taking out piercings is just not something I would do, it was not like me and that bothered me I guess.I don't really know why I'm sharing this, but it was dread related so I figured I'd put it out there. Before this I hadn't really had dreams where my hair was something I remember, whether it was dreaded or not I can't be sure, but these were more emotional I guess so I remembered it. It's kind of silly to care so much to be so upset about losing my dreads, but I know you guys would understand, they're so much effort and so personal, I've grown attached.
updated by @tatyananashi: 01/13/15 08:50:11PM

i think its saying that the dreads are more important then the job and u dshouldnt be so worried about not working your doing what u need for youschool as well as dreadsyour doing what u need to do to progress as u and should feel absolutely no guilt over taking time offu said the interview was a job u didnt wantu said u changed who u are to get it but then all u wanted was to be who you are againthe dreams telling u not to sacrifice yourself your dreams your desires just for a job


--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

umm where do u get that omg your not working you'll be homeless stuff she said theyre doing fine hes working a second job they have the bills covered fine her only guilt is over not working not cause she has to just cause she always hasits a change shes not used to thats all i dont think theres any chance of them losing the house at allshe just wants to know that its perfectly ok to not be working right now shes got other things to do with school and alland she doesnt need to be working at the same time


--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Yeah. One of the reasons I'm trying to finish school is because I want to have my degree instead of just my experience, which can really give me extra points when I do try to get a job. My goal is to be the whole package, everything and anything an employer would want, so much that they accept the looks part of the package also. And one day, if I can achieve all the goals I have set for myself, I think that will totally be possible.If I absolutely had to, I would cut them, sobbing the whole time, but no job I can get now will be worth it, and I don't have kids, and my partner can afford what we need with what he does, he only got the second job so we wont have to take out student loans. Once I have my degree, and I've done some of the other studying I plan on (multilingual goals) I am hoping to be so valuable that the rest is overlooked. Besides, unless I was being offered millions or something like that, I don't want to be a part of a company that wouldn't take me as I am. One of the reasons I quit a really good job I had before the most recent one. I hated the environment and I couldn't be myself, and I HATE playing the game (that's what I call all this silliness all these clones do). Pay was good, benefits great, but it was too taxing to play along, and even with my best efforts I was still considered the weirdest one there! They still love me though, and miss my work. I said I'd come back when things change, but not as they are currently. Bad economy or not, I wont lower my standards anymore, I'm tired of playing the game.

Knottysleeves said:

I think it's totally normal considering your circumstances. Like you said, you're anxious about not working and making ends meet, etc... but your dreads are really coming along and are a part of you now, yet you know that not every interviewer is going to be enthusiastic or approving of them.

Hopefully you'll never have to make the choice between your dreads and a job, but when it comes down to it, I would much rather have a roof over my head and shorter hair for awhile, than awesome dreads that I love but can't wash or care for properly because I'm living on the street due to nonpayment of rent.

I think she was just saying that if she had to cut for a job she wouldn't unless it was between that and homelessness, I totally understand that. But it would have to be that severe for me to cut, like I'm talking eviction notice. LOL

soaringeagle said:

umm where do u get that omg your not working you'll be homeless stuff she said theyre doing fine hes working a second job they have the bills covered fine her only guilt is over not working not cause she has to just cause she always has
its a change shes not used to thats all i dont think theres any chance of them losing the house at all
she just wants to know that its perfectly ok to not be working right now shes got other things to do with school and all
and she doesnt need to be working at the same time

i wouldnt even then why because why do u need a boss to have a job? ive had 1 boss in the past umm.. 25 years? the rest of the time worked for myseldf when i delt the need if i had to make rent i found a way to make rent ..was evicted once only cause i didnt wanna live there no more so bought a van and headed to new orleans for 4 months ..figured by the time i giot back id be evicted so didnt care when i was


--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Yeah, I know my plate will be more full when I pack on the classes next semester, which isn't that far off, but I was thinking something like learning a new instrument or a foreign language will be a good activity to add to my day. I should start now while I have more free time, I don't know how to play guitar and would love to learn but I don't have a guitar so I'll have to see if I can find a cheap accoustic one somewhere. I also have rosetta stone and some spanish lessons, I've been meaning to, but putting it off. I also have russian, which I am more interested in but will be less "beneficial" than spanish, but seems more fun for some reason. I wonder if all my hobbies are learning and all I do all day is school if I'll be put off by it... I hope not. Maybe I'll start that P90x, a friend gave me his dvds and I've been meaning to do that also.... And a thing called polyphasic sleep, I was obsessed with that for a while and I am determined to try it until it works, just have to find a schedule that works best for me. Plus I need to prove all those naysayers I met along the way that even I can do it...
I also was going to start making glass beads when I first stopped working, but the garage is my only working space and it's not setup as a workshop yet, so I'd need to do that, which will involve building quite a few shelves.

There are a lot of things I can busy myself with, now just on to the motivation to do it. Any suggestions?



rawsum said:

ok ..third try to post this .. you could take up an instrument in lieu of a job .. how about the frailing banjo .. that's my next ambition