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All the right reasons

8 years ago
11 posts
Nearly all my life, my families been supportive in almost everything I've done, and i am very grateful for that. Some people don't ever have that privilege, so i know im blessed. But lately, they haven't been so happy about my choices. Ever since i wanted dreads, i knew this would be a issue. So it started off while in the car. I forget how this conversation started, but it ended up about my hair. Mostly my mom and grandma, started taking about the way i presented myself, and about how im told how handsome i am all the time. This is literally the reason they think im freeforming. To try and degrade myself. Talking about how every time they see me it looks like i just got out of bed, and how that makes me look dirty. When in the end im doing the total opposite. Im trying to live a more healthy and natural lifestyle, and find myself, who i am. There's a lot of family issues going on in my life right now and i need a way to break away from the hate, but i get more instead. Its really frustrating to me. And i try explaining to everyone, but they never listen. Everyone always thinks their right and never looks at it from someone else's perspective. Its so funny to me that society teaches you to never think for yourself, to always see one way ,what they say goes, and if its not like that, then your frowned apon. But, all in all, im not doing this for what anyone else thinks. Im doing it for me, and if they don't see me for what i amon the inside, so be it. This is the real me, and not to be rude at all but if you don't like me for who i am your not worth my time.
updated by @arnell: 01/13/15 10:03:48PM
Nathaniel Lopez
8 years ago
26 posts

Well, if you are trying to explain to them so that they understand and they dont listen, then there is really nothing you can do. Some people are just like that, ya know? If YOU like your hair is what you really need to think about. I have noticed that when it comes to getting locks, you really have to be thick skinned. People can be very negative and will always look for something they dont like in others. Dreadlocks just give them more ammunition. It wouldn't be called a journey if it was easy, would it? Just keep your head up, kay? Everyone here is on your side.

<3Lock Love<3

☮ soaring eagle ॐ
8 years ago
29,621 posts

parents are often the last to understand the only thing i can possibly suggest is..dont have a conversaytion about it instead write out yoiur reweasoning and thoughts on the subject ..and then present it to them as a matter of fact..this is the way it is.. so deal with it

not a conversation..or debate..but like a mission statement..a written notice of intent..thast is not open for discussion

My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1
Athena G
8 years ago
12 posts

What it comes down to is; it's YOUR hair, and your life. As long as you are comfortable and happy with it, that's all that matters. You aren't hurting anyone by having dreads. Sometimes certain family members may feel the need to try to influence with their opinions, but as long as you're happy, I hope they understand in time. Stay strong, you're among friends here. :)

8 years ago
359 posts

You should do what makes your mom and grandma happy, and forget about what you want... See how silly that sounds, :) When you are shinning with happiness, your mom and grandma can not help but be happy, so do what makes you happy, really happy, follow your heart and it will open up for all to see, let the love flow, and what you do on the outside of your body will become insignificant to others.


8 years ago
173 posts

Just give it time hun. My whole family, aside from my step dad, HATED my locs. One year later now, my mom has 'gotten use to them' and will occasionally grab one and try to tickle my face with the whispy end. :)
Just keep doing what you wanna do, the only one who can live your life is you. I know it hurts having family be mean to you, but eventually they'll come around and get over it when they see how happy you are :)

8 years ago
11 posts
Thx everybody
8 years ago
1 posts

i know what it's like... my mom and step dad actually threatened to kick me out of the house if i ever dreaded my hair, i've been suffering from major depression for years due to that. Not just the hair, but their oppression overall and their innacceptance to let me be me. They won't even let me close the door to my own room, i've never enjoyed one of the most basic human needs which is privacy

8 years ago
11 posts
Wow man thats horrible. People can be so close minded and conformed to whats the "norm" in modern society that in a sense their really not themselves. Today, being unique is frowned apon, and its really sad that people are afraid of being their true selves to "fit in" or please other people. I broke free from that chain a long time ago. OPEN YOUR EYES HUMANS! They wonder why im anti-social. Anyway, best of wishes to everyone. Stay strong
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