A long while ago, I had the epiphany of "its just hair." Maybe you can talk to your mom about that? No matter what you do to your hair, it isn't permanent. It can be undone when you want to. As long as its clean, all the other problems can be dealt with. If she wants you to look groomed (like if you were going out to dinner), and you are kinda fuzzy that day, use a decorative head wrap or tam. Look at all the pics on this site, there are many ways to style your dreads to make them look less "shaggy." Maybe if you find a pic and ask for help recreating that style, she might come around a bit?
updated by @kerry-loco: 07/23/15 07:01:21PM