My intro (day 1)

Hello, I'm Nina.. 29 years old, currently live in Phoenix, Arizona.. mother to 6 kids

I've always had an interest in dreads, since I was a teen. Actually at 16 my friend gave me some wax dreads, which I cut off like a week later lol.

Over the years I've gone from short to long hair then short again then long and always trying to manage the beast. Wash with expensive shampoo and conditioners, hair serum, heat protectant, blow dry, glossing straightener, flat iron, then a shining spray!

I recently put in about 250 hours at a cosmetology school before deciding it wasn't for me and dropping it (plus I really just wanted to be back home with my kids full time again).

I've been kind of freaking out as I approach 30.. not about getting older.. but being 30 with no college degree or work experience. I realize I care WAY too much what ppl think of me and so far in my life it has done me NO good. Many times I've made decisions based on what I thought others wanted me to do- and it has never worked out.

I'm done, I'm tired of caring what others think. I'm a great wife and Mother, and I am happy with that. I've always felt I needed to be doing "something with my life" as "being a mother doesn't count".

So for me, this whole dread journey is a personal transformation. To let go of what society wants me to be. Letting go of managing my hair I hope will really liberate me and remind me that I (like everyone else) am a unique individual and my personal self worth is not determined by my education or salary.

Ok, sorry if this all sounds SO corny! But I need this, I SOOOO need this! I've been falling into some dark places mentally recently and I just woke up one day and realized I need to change this from within, nothing external will help. When I stayed home with the kids I thought for sure that getting out and going to school to "do something with my life" would "fix" me, but I still got depressed.. this is a problem with ME and being true to myself would certainly help.

So enough of that corny stuff lol.

I discovered this site from a Mama on a cloth diaper site! I'm SO thankful to her for finding this site as this is exactly what I was looking for. Before finding this site I thought I had to "make dreads" myself and considered going to a dread salon.. but I didn't like the pictures on the website of the salon.. they looked too tight and uniformed. I'm nervous about going natural and looking "messy" lol, but I also don't want manufactured dreadlocks.

Last night I didn't use my expensive shampoo and conditioner- I want to try and get rid of any build-up/residue in my hair... I washed with baking soda and then conditioned with ACV. For the first time in well over a year I didn't put any products in my hair.. nor did I brush or comb it!!! I went to bed.. and I woke up with this:

I'm very excited so far- good start right???

Ok, sorry this is so long, I promise to not be too corny or long winded- I just really felt the need to vent all this out! I'm excited about this journey and excited to get to know everyone <3

updated by @nina: 01/13/15 09:09:30PM

well well well welcome momma

ok now for more cornuness

wax dreads lasted a week? how could u stand em that long?

but

how dare u say being a momma of 6 isnt a career a worthwhile life ..a calling in fact

most cant do 2 or 3 right without scarring them for life

your doing what u should be doing

the only thing making u depressed is u listen to ppl who think thats not enough

let them try raising 6 kids!

and ok on to hair yup for 1 night thats a great start

now read this the beauty of messy natural dreads

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

lol thank you!

I started kids young and I guess it still haunts me to this day that I'll "never amount to anything". But now, I look at the family members who told me this- and they are no better off than I.. plus I live on the other side of the country now so it's all good! My only wish in this world is to make my kids proud and give them a great life- I am finally learning to be content with that.

Thanks for the link.. I am really going to try and embrace the messiness lol! Eeeeek! :D

you will be a lovely mess

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Six kids...wow. Dedicating your life to raising six kids definitely counts. Anyway, I know what you mean about all the corny stuff about a personal transformation, that's kind of similar to my reasons. Hope you enjoy the journey

thx y'all - i am loving this forum!!! So much great info, and people!!!

Hi Nina! Welcome! I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from. I want to share a poem I wrote about that exact subject. You are more than welcome to use it when you need to. I was feeling and going through the same thing at the time. Good luck on your dread journey too, feel free to ask me any questions, even though I started my dreads with loose TnRs. Here is the poem, I dedicate it to you as well <3
----------------------------------------------------
"As a Mother I am everything"

As a Mother I am capable. When others see me asincompetent, my kids see me as the "go to person".

As a Mother I am whole. When others take from me, my kids fill me back up.

As a Mother I have no regrets. When other situations can't be fixed, my kids know, to them, I've done my best.

As a Mother I am encouraging. While others have called me negative, my kids shine in their supported endeavors.

As a Mother I am confident. Others may see my insecurities, my kids know my strength to endure.

As a Mother I am beautiful. When the mirror shows me wrinkles, my kids reflect back all that shines in me.

As a Mother I am a comedian. As the people in the subway stand with sour faces, my kids & I laugh at the goofiest jokes.

As a Mother I am hopeful. While days can be filled endless disappointments, my kids remind me that there is a future.

As a Mother I am sane. When others mark me as crazy, my kids appreciate my zest for their happiness.(no matter who goes down ; )

As a Mother I am happy. Even after someone takes the wind from my sail, my kids will give it back to me tenfold.

As a Mother I am calm. While the world might see me as flustered, my kids will always come to me in an emergency.

As a Mother I am smart. When others mock my choice of words or grammar, my kids will care more about the love, in what was said.

As a Mother I am peaceful. Others will call me an aggressive warrior, my kids will feel secure knowing who has their back.

As a Mother I am successful. When the world judges me according to what I do, my kids are happy that they were my career.

As a Mother I am everything.....and I have everything I need.

by: Kathleen Davis-Huckno 10/19/2010

i love you guys

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

oh Kathleen thank you so much for sharing that :')

Girl, you got me all teary-eyed!

I am sharing that out, giving you credit no doubt!

No problem Nina. Enjoy! I'm happy it can benefit another great Mom! <3