Helppppppp!

Hi everyone! I'm new to this site so please be patient

It's like this, I've wanted dreads for years and decided to take the plunge after swatting up for ages on the different methods. I decided to go for the T&R method. My hair is very fine and frizzy...can't do anything with it as it has a mind of its own...cant brush it, comb it or blow dry it, so dreads I figured would be great for me, especially that over time they may even make my hair look thicker...how wrong was I??? Whoops...well I spent 3 days T&R'ing my hair but in thin sections (because of my type of hair) but...here's the problem, 3 years ago I sadly lost my hubby and a lot of my own hair due to stress, and I was left with some very fine lighter areas on my scalp (my scalp is very pale and my natural hair very dark so they noticed on occassion). So now, much to my horror my dreads are showing up what looks like bald patches on my scalp now and I'm panicking severely as I can't let my new locks down I don't know what to do, I so love them already but I hate my sad little scalp, did I say ? Please can someone give me some advice because i am now a sad case and don't want anyone to see what I've done haha! Im a little embarassed too.

Thank you in advance to anyone who can share some words of encouragement, I really don't want to shave my hair off as its long, down to my chest so this would be equally if not more horrendous and I can't spell either...now, where's that wine???

Thanks again, hic...

updated by @jerseygal: 02/14/15 08:27:11AM

Know what? I've seen men that are balding with dreads, they don't care what people think, so you shouldn't either one of the things dreads teach you is to be confident with yourself regardless of what people think. That said, I've seen Biotin mentioned a lot, it's meant to help make your hair healthier, among other things, I think.

Keep your head up I have really bad dandruff and eczema in my scalp that you can see all over my dreads, it's very hard to get rid of it, and it does get me down now and again, so I know how you feel, but do whatever makes YOU happy.

Thanks for taking the time to make me feel a little better Tara...I've just spent the last couple of hours untwisting about 6 sections in the problem area and tomorrow will get my daughter in law to resection this so that we can cover up my fair area with them, I did them myself so they are probably a little random anyhow...my middle name, random...so shall I also take the bands out of the bottom of my sections? They were falling out just in one evening but I'm reading on here that they shouldn't be held with anything? Thanks again!

Yeah, take the bands out. They can get stuck over time and then end up rotting, which you really don't want lol. They probably will come loose but it's normal. I backcombed mine to begin with, they all came loose and then dreaded up. It seems counter-productive to just let them get loose, but you want them to loosen because then they dread, whereas if you keep them tight, there isn't much opportunity for the hair to dread.

sounds like you should have gone natural and it would have sectioningd itself more perfectly for your hair and worked our great your hair sounds like it would have taken to natural dreading very well too

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Sorry about the loss of your spouse. Healing takes so long, but you sound like a strong person. Why not just let your hair section naturally. The ones you brushed out, just leave them be now. Since you have had problems with your hair and scalp due to your loss, the best thing to do is just let your hair be. Don't force anything. It will do it all on its own and cause no tension on the scalp. Believe in it.....letting it be lets your hair decide how the hair wants to section and it will slowly start to dread. Using a started method is only blueprints, they will lossen up and most will probably fall out anyways, so it is a step back before dreading. I too used T&R and now know that if I went natural, I would not have taken the step backwards and would have had mature dreads sooner.

The first year is hard, so don't look in a mirror if possible, wear a tam when going out. Can't find one or knit? Ask a friend or an elderly neighbour, they will be happy to make one for you.

This journey of growing dreads will change your inner soul. You will become stronger within. Your thoughts will be slightly different for the better. You will learn patience and acceptance towards others. I truly believe that everyone should go through the journey of growing dreadlocks, (even if they don't keep them in), the world would be a better place.

Biotin is a hair growth stimulator that can be found in the vitamin section of your local drug store. In Canada and the US, it is about $10 only. Take the 6000mcg strength daily, if you can't find that strength, just add up the pills to equal it. In 3 months you will see noticeable hair growth, especially in the balding, thinning areas you have. As a little bonus, it strengthens finger nails too......peace

oooh you guys are beautiful, thank you all for your precious time...and the barrellady x

I was thinking about just going natural, the only drawback is when I let it go, my hair just becomes one large dread, the whole lot just clumps together and not in a nice way...as I have a sensitive scalp anyway it pulls when it tangles...hahaha! I must be mad doing this, but I really like the whole 'just being' part of it, have always had the piss taken out of me since a very young child because my hair is messy, and now I get to really do it with style :D

Thanks all xx

So sorry about your loss Jerseygal! I can't imagine! It sounds like you have beautiful intentions with your hair, and you should definitely allow yourself to bloom in them! My advice is to find ways to rid yourself of the stress in you life. Find release in personal freedom. Seek spirituality. Or take up hula hooping! Silly as it sounds, it is such a beautiful place to be in. I am a hooper and there is so much expression in it. (tons on YouTube...) Pray for peace and forge onward sister. The time that you make for yourself to heal and relax in peace might just help your scalp to recover (and I am sure there are some vitamin supplements to aid). WE hope to see photos of your progress here.. Olivia

Hi again, thanks OliviaJonasAley you are very kind...Well, after a lot of (I don't know why) freaking about my awful new hairdo last night, I took your advice and released these babies, threw the bands in the bin...'finger loosened my locs gently (not completely), then used the BS wash with some essential oil followed by the ACV rinse...OMG what a difference already!!! My 13 year old son who has walked every step with me (and is sick of it too) has monitered my bald patches with me and we both agree that they look so much better. I'm attached my 3 day young dreadbaby pics with this if I can so maybe you could give me some feedback please...my scalp is LOVING life now so I feel so much better. And your words of inspiration have been so gorgeous thank you all...but hula hooping...mmm maybe one day, couldn't do it as a child and I think I will tackle just this little thing first, but one day Much love xox

Also, one more thing, I purchased some Q Silica (pura silica) after a pharmacist told me about her son who has alopecia and the skin specialist recommended it for him, apparently 1 month on and some of his patches have started growing hair, thought I would share this with you as it could help someone else x