Am I Doing Something Wrong?

Hey everyone!

I began my dread journey about 5 months ago, though my top layer is probably 2 or 3 months old. I TnRed pretty much my whole bottom layer, and mostly backcombed the top.

I am worried because my hair doesn't look anything like the timelines I have seen. It seems that by this point you can usually tell that a person has dreads. Mine just looks like ratty hair. No one can ever tell that I' have dreads. My family members laugh at me and say things like, "your hair will never dread", and "it doesn't look like you have dreads, just ratty hair" this is really discouraging.

A few days ago I visited my friend who has had her beautiful locks for a year and a half now. She said that I just haven't given my hair enough maintenance, and should palm roll and separate more. In a picture I uploaded of my baby dreads, SE even said that it looks like I have to separate more. Yet I separate every day, and usually only a few need to be separated so I'm not sure why it looks like it needs it so much. Maybe I just have a lot of loose hairs?

My friend put rubber bands around some of my dreads, and I have began doing this also. I know that it's looked down upon on here, but my friend did it to hers and they're so beautiful. She doesn't use wax or crochet or anything like that.
She cut her rubber bands out when they were no longer needed, or when the dread tried to swallow it.

I don't care if my hair looks disgusting right now, as long as I am on the right track. but I fear that my hair will never dread and will just stay this ugly mess. I'm sorry for the long post and complaining, but I have the urge to just cut them all out. Thank you for reading this!

updated by @meg5: 01/13/15 09:59:57PM

Awh wow. What a sweet and thoughtful reply! Thank you for your kindness dear friend (:
I think my problem is the fear of the unknown, more than patience. I really like this wild journey, and I don't care how long it will take for them to be dreads. I just worry that they'll never get there or that I'm doing something wrong haha! I wish there was some confirmation that I'm on the right track, but perhaps the acceptance of the unknown is another lesson dreads are teaching me
Much love<3

your definitely on the right track except the rubber bandsid take those ourt rughgt away

if id suggest anything it would be beads

beads willhelp them dred stay separated and..make you feel more confident by decorating them

ok this is slightly unrelated bur related too

you know how most women will get a lil face fuzz and feel like a horible mutant and lazer it all off?

i know a fww women with lil beards but 1 in particular..an elder woman whos grown out an 8 or 9 inch goatee she braids and hangs decorative trinkets from

if you let people make y0u feel ashamed iof your beautiful mess then turn it around on them decorate them and show how proud you are of them

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Thank you bunches!! I just had to hear that. I'll take them out right now (: I did have beads, but then my dreads became bigger and wilder and couldn't move so my dad got a hammer to get them out. He got a few out with pliers, and then accidently cut off a dread with the pliers! haha.
That woman sounds awesome.