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Dreadlocks Forums

Two years, and what I've learned.

John Summers
5 years ago
8 posts

First off, let me express my gratitude for the help I have received from Soaring Eagle, Baba Fats, and everyone here on dreadlockssite. Thank you so very much! Before I joined, I was so worried about how my locks looked, they were out of control loopy and messy. It caused me so much anxiety that they didn't look uniform. It got to the point where I even contemplated cutting them off. After joining, about a year into my journey, I realized that I was very uneducated about dreadlocks. I didn't know that loops and bumps and zig-zags were a very normal part of the locking process. I guess I was just caught up in what our society views as "acceptable dreadlocks". But since joining, I have embraced the messiness, loops and bumps. I realized that every single lock is one of a kind, that there is not another dread on this planet that is the same. And realizing this has helped me grow as a human being. It helped me become an individual. Again, before I was so caught up in what society says you should do and what was the "normal" path of life. I pushed myself to try and be what they wanted me to and I was miserable. So I made a change. Now I do what is best for me, regardless of what anybody else thinks, because I realized that the only expectations I need to live up to are mine. Forget what everyone else thinks.My dreads have taught me so much, but the most important thing is; whats right for me, may not always be whats right for the next person.So here's to many more years and many more lessons!

updated by @john-summers: 02/14/15 11:28:15AM
5 years ago
836 posts

That was beautiful John. Our society values artificial. Women with fake nail, breasts, eyelashes, tans and tons of makeup are considered beautiful. There is an artificial view on dreads. As long as they are neat and uniform ( which means lots of time maintaining them and adding extensions ) they are attractive. I think i might be a snob. Those dreads are not dreads to me. Give me the messy...give me the zig zags ...give me what nature decides. Give me the time invested to watch those short lil nubbins grow into a glorious mane!! I think that is beautiful. I think that is sexy. I think that is glorious.

John Summers
5 years ago
8 posts
Thank you :) I agree with you 100%. Natural is beautiful!
Kerry LoCo
5 years ago
46 posts

Lovely post, John! I too am grateful for this site, especially with all the pics of dreads of every stage of development, showing what is normal. ;-)

the Barrellady
5 years ago
1,302 posts

Isn't it great to be an individual and not a clone. Think of the movie the Stepford Wives, all clones of each other so to speak: so many people want to become that just to impress others, their friends, spouses, bosses, neighbours. Individuality makes people interesting, exciting and a pleasure to be around. I find that most people who use artificial means to "make" their self better,( in their opinion), have no depth to their soul.

It is amazing that doing something as simple as growing dreads produces inner peace, acceptance towards ourselves and others, and relaxation of not rushing through life, (just to name a few).

You have a great path ahead of you my friend.....peace

John Summers
5 years ago
8 posts
Thanks Kerry! It really does help to see photos of other people locks at different stages in their journey, it helped alleviate the anxiety I was having.Barrellady, it is amazing how something so simple does so many wonderful things for me.Thank you both for your kind words!
Angel Frye
5 years ago
409 posts

The 'am I good enough NOW?' mentality is what is definitely wrong with our society. Learning to let go of that anxiety-breeding-anxiety thought pattern is the most joyful thing you can do for yourself and your future.

I swear, the more people in my life that bitch about my hair, the happier I get. It's not to get reactions; to get attention. I keep my dreadlocks growing and maturing because I think they're wild and beautiful and free. But if everyone else wants to keep their hair silky smooth then that's their choice. THEY need to learn how to let go of their need to control ME. I think that's basically what it boils down to; why controlled-hair people get so irritated with us.

5 years ago
390 posts

When we stop competing against other people and compete against just ourselves, we enter into the "League of our own."

5 years ago
13 posts

Ya hit it dead on friend- Ive gone from being worried about what people thought when they seen me to just not giving a sh*t. I know where i came from and where im at and everything ive been through is reflected in my dreads. the good the bad the ugly. the mistakes and the triumphs. my dreads are about two years now and im not the same person at all i was. my dreadsgave me positive reenforcement to overcome struggles tochange that, but they alsohold the memories of the changes of a work in progress. ive given up tobacco-ive given up booze- and every time im tempted to go back to the destructive, unatural, superficial, typicallife i was living and literly killing my self with- i am reminded by my dreads of what true natural change really is. I owe a hell of a lot to them. Dreadlocks really are powerful and positive.

5 years ago
12 posts


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