Solace of the Solitary

When I decided I really did want to embark on the dread journey, I was the only one I knew who was on that path. I convinced some people in my online community to consider it, but I knew of no one in real life.

There are days when that makes this process really lonely.

But most days are like today. No one I know has dreads and no one really understands. But that leads me to more focus inward instead of outward and that's EXACTLY what this journey is all about, right?

I'm an individual. I'm unique. No one NEEDS to truly understand me. My husband and kids love me and accept me and that's all I need. I'm the only one who needs to really understand who I am on the inside. And all this introspection brought on by the dread journey has been amazing. I started out as someone who felt I HAD to please other people with my appearance... to meet certain "norms". But now, I've really and truly adopted the "let it be" attitude with my hair. And that attitude has begun reaching to my inward qualities. Whatever life throws at me, I'm ready. I'm not as anxious as I've been in the past. I'm relaxed and ready.

So, if anyone out there is just perusing these boards, considering dreadlocks, here's an invitation and a warning. The dread journey is probably the most life-changing and amazing thing you can ever do to your outward appearance. But it won't stop at your outward appearance. It changes you.

For the better.

updated by @snick: 03/24/15 12:52:18PM

thats ohhh so true

and so many when they embark on the journey still fear that and want to control every aspect and they kinda miss oit on the deeper more profound side of dreading

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Not to mention, stoners everywhere will love you!

Dreads for me are a spiritual journey in so many ways. i know what you mean about the loneliness, we moved and all my dready friends live along ways away and i live in a small town where dreads are frowned on, but it just makes the journey more interesting for me because i learn a lot about people, society, and myself most importantly.

I'm the only "white girl" dreading in my area. But I've noticed that something in me is changing. I'm getting more and more positive comments (and more creepers hitting on me, which is both creepy and flattering). Someone even commented that I had a glow about me. I'm feeling good even when I look disheveled & broke out and not the best, because I'm growing more comfortable with myself. I'm noticing I'm seeing things in a more rosey glow. The old stressors are not mattering as much. Little knots are helping me notice all the other little "knots" in life

Hi Snick, I agree - the dreaded journey can sometimes be one of solitude, sometimes one of plain aloneness/loneliness. So much really does depend upon one's geographical location.

Actually, your post reminded me of something I read today:

"Do not allow yourself to be imprisoned by any affection. Keep your solitude. The day, if it ever comes, when you are given true affection there will be no opposition between interior solitude and friendship, quite the reverse. It is even by this infallible sign that you will recognize it." --Simone Weil, philosopher and mystic

To be honest I haven't noticed any inward changes myself.One very weird side effect, perhaps due to sheer luck and coincidence, is that I have never been approached so much by black men with dreads. I'm talking simple stuff like asking for directions. I can only hope the black women with dreads are next on the list, men just aren't really my type.

I still don't understand what is so "spiritual". Hair dreads when not brushed.. That is it. It's a natural thing. Why should it have such an impact? Sure, you will have a different public experience. People willautomatically judge you and you will get both positive and negative comments.It is the same with any form of hairstyle. Bowl cut, mullet, mowhawk... Whatever style you may choose.

Maybe you all do have profound internal experiences which change your whole outlook on life, but it doesn't change the fact that it is still just a hairstyle.

What's spiritual about a totem pole? It's just a tree trunk carved into animal. Not much different than taking a mold and filling it with molten plastic to make a kids toy.

But somehow they mean something completely different. To a child, it's just a colourful object that you can zoom around on the floor or make dance. To NativeAmericans, it symbolizesancestorsand the divine spirit world.

Yes, it is just hair. And, to many, it is just a style. They like how they look with locks. To others it means a bit more. It symbolizes their freedom. Or the they take the bible seriously and believe that god told the judges to never take a razor to their head or sideburns. But some people believe that it brings them closer to whatever they believe. Be it god, or nature, or some cool comic where the main character had locks.

Dreadlocks mean something different to us all

Beautifully said Baba