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Acceptance

Jackie
@jackie
5 years ago
79 posts

He will come around-- glad he is starting too :) I hate tattoos and once had a longterm boyfriend who got this HUGE stupid tribal design thing on his entire upper left shoulder. I used to want to puke when I saw it.... it's funny, about 2 years after he got it, I would find myself totally entranced and tracing the lines with my fingers.

It took me literally years to come around-- it's really hard to accept big changes sometimes when you're so intimate with someone. Part of you kinda feels like you should have some say in this person's outward appearance (which is nuts) and it's just because you love someone so much that your projection of them may be different than how they actually view themselves....believe me, dude's gonna be pulling on those dreads and helping you make beads for them with tools outta the garage before you know it mama :)


updated by @jackie: 07/23/15 05:24:15AM
BC Aotearoa
@bc-aotearoa
5 years ago
5 posts

Kind of nice to read this..... because i am the way i see me i find it easy to let comments slide, but it does wear you down when you don't have the full support you would giveunconditionally. As others have said stay strong (Kia Kaha in maori) and others will realise that we are just being ourselves and love us all the more for it!!

Aroha Nui BC

Baba Fats
@baba-fats
5 years ago
2,730 posts

"The laughing buddha only laughs because knows what's going on."

This quote (probably not exactly word for word) has always stayed with me.

What kind of wise crack does your husband make?

I understand that we, on this forum, take our locks very seriously. I myself tell people how to fight for them at work and on job interviews. Our locks are important to us. But why does that mean we can't joke along as well? If what he says is not offensive, just laugh and joke right back. You said he was bald... Offer to cut one or two of your locks and comb them out to make him a wig. Joke about how he must just be jealous that you have hair to do something unique with. Don't becondescendingabout it. Just turn his wise cracks into jokes of your own.

I'm glad he's coming around, a bit. But this will help it happen faster. He needs to change his attitude about your locks. But you need to change your attitude about his attitude. It's a cycle

Necia Stoll
@necia-stoll
5 years ago
34 posts
My husband doesn't like them either. He says that it's just not what he's attracted to, but nothing about me is his type. He always liked dark haired women about as tall as him and curvy. I'm blonde, about a head shorter than him, and naturally slender. Which pretty much proves that he's not with me for my looks. So in time, I trust that my dreads will be something he comes to love because he loves me :) And congrats on winning your battle with cancer! Let your dreads give you strength!
Danika Skalet
@danika-skalet
5 years ago
37 posts
My husband was the same way. In the beginning it was constant he'd say things about them being messy and dirty (messy sure dirty never) how he would cut them all off when I was sleeping if I didn't brush them out and that I wasn't nearly as attractive anymore. He never said any of it in a joking manner and the things he said hurt me very much, but I stayed strong and defiant. I am now 6 months along in my journey and the comments have pretty much stopped, once in a while he'll make an off hand remark but it's not nearly as bad as it was and I get complements from strangers now and then which helps show him that they are looking very nice at their age (he is impatient and wanted me to have perfect mature locks overnight). Anyways I feel like I'm rambaling now, just stay strong and happy and soon the comments will end. Blessings
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
5 years ago
28,063 posts

spoken like a true baba :)

Baba Fats said:

"The laughing buddha only laughs because knows what's going on."

This quote (probably not exactly word for word) has always stayed with me.

What kind of wise crack does your husband make?

I understand that we, on this forum, take our locks very seriously. I myself tell people how to fight for them at work and on job interviews. Our locks are important to us. But why does that mean we can't joke along as well? If what he says is not offensive, just laugh and joke right back. You said he was bald... Offer to cut one or two of your locks and comb them out to make him a wig. Joke about how he must just be jealous that you have hair to do something unique with. Don't becondescendingabout it. Just turn his wise cracks into jokes of your own.

I'm glad he's coming around, a bit. But this will help it happen faster. He needs to change his attitude about your locks. But you need to change your attitude about his attitude. It's a cycle




--
Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
Jess H
@jess-h
5 years ago
14 posts

Easy. My partner wanted to shave her head. She knows I hate it, but I said "You're a grown woman, you're old enough to decide what to do with your body. I respect that like I know you'll respect my decisions".

MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Lol, manipulation.

Do what the hell you want. You're a grown woman and your dreads are fabulous. Tell your husband that if he doesn't shut up and accept it, there are lesbians out there who are willing to ;)

Steff A Roo
@steff-a-roo
5 years ago
26 posts

Hello Amy.

I'm 7 weeks into my dreads and my partner hates mine also. I told him I'd love dreads about a year ago and he told me he'd leave me if I ever had dreads. Needless to say he didn't! I waited til he went on holiday with his friend abroad and put them in myself using the tnr method. He came back and was disgusted with me! He said "It's your hair, do what you like with it, but I hope you know, they look s**t!!!" Cheers then lol.

He still doesn't like them but the comments have stopped, especially since his friends complimented me on my dreads. He told me he won't marry me if I have dreads......he'll have to bloody propose to me first!!! Lol.

Just be head strong and don't back down. It's your husbands issue, not yours, his issue is not your concern, nor can you control it. He'll soon get bored of putting them down! Please don't let him tell you how you should or shouldn't wear your hair, you'll only kick yourself for it and resent him.

Believe me, I can relate. More power to us for being unique and true to ourselves :)

 
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