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Let's Get Personal

Shade Of Ashes
7 years ago
78 posts

Whew, now that I have a moment to sit down. @Christopher: You're very welcome and thank you! I'm loving my dreads, although I refer to them as "fusslocks" instead of dreadlocks because I tend to fuss over them too much, but reading everything here and seeing courageous people has motivated me to just let them be and let go, and let nature make them how they were intended to be. I love how you're rocking the short dreads, they're awesome!

@Jeff: Thanks bro, call me a pot stirrer but I love knowing back-stories, but I especially love provoking thought from people; must be the artist in me - my thesis was about disrupting human emotions through dichotomies. (I might blog about that later, thanks for the inspiration!) By the by, your dreads are looking way awesome, I can't wait to see how they look when grown out a bit more!

@Baba: Wow, what a terrifying first experience! I'm so glad you stuck it out though and didn't get scared off from the idea of dreads - good thing too, because now you're here and completely awesome to boot. Plus, your dreads are freakin' awesome - I love the texture!

@Rebecca: I can completely understand, I've been squeezing on mine since I put them in, it's completely relaxing. I'm so glad you took initiative in order to stop the self-hate cycle, it's a vicious one and it takes a lot of courage and perseverance to even take a step out of that cycle; you have my absolute respect. And might I say that your dreads are beautiful and so are you, and your tats rock!

@Breana: I think your reason is plenty deep: it's what you wanted and what you felt was the best decision for you; completely self-influenced. That right there is amazing. I can't see your dreads too well from the pic but I love the color you chose!

@Beijaflor: I never really gave too much thought to the cultural/racial divide that exists with dreads but the more I read, the more I see that there is one, it's nice to see someone who bucks the system and doesn't care about it and instead cares about who they are and what makes them happy. I LOVE people who do self-exploration and you, my friend are a beautiful example of that. I love your dreads too, they suit your inner and outter beauty so well.

@Medicine Woman: I fell you on the guts thing, I was chicken little for five years; my hair was always admired by others and I was concerned over what people would think, the family, the parents, the friends, etc. I admire your bravery to overcome all of that and do what you wanted to do. I got reeled in by DreadHQ also, got a lot of disinformation which i why I'm so in love with this community, there is only truth here. I'm starting to wonder if maybe Jesus had dreads, that would be so completely awesome. It is very much how God intended; I can really empathize with you - everyone else is iffy about my dreads except for my friend Derek who's also on here and thank goodness my boyfriend Joey likes them (he ordered me surprise beads to put in them only after having them about a day or two). I have yet to face my future mother-in-law, and I am NOT looking forward to it. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it's really very touching and moving, all the stories are really, but I love your dreads, I think they're epic-sauce.

@Everyone, this community of fellow dreadies makes my heart feel like it's going to burst inside my chest and I know that while life may seem horrible or impossible at times, that at least there are people out here that care, that give a sh!t. I'd like to quote something from one of my favorite movies (5 points goes to whoever can name it!)"An inch... It is small, and fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that, whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you understand that even though I will never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you."

updated by @shade-of-ashes: 07/22/15 07:32:57AM
7 years ago
4 posts
Wow! what great posts :) kudos to DemeterGray for such a great topic of discussion.I've always loved dreadlocks and growing up secretly wanted them, but always told myself only black people could grow them. as i grew up i realized otherwise but was told only black people should have them.last year i was going through a lot of major changes in my life and was feeling pressure from everyone. people were trying to tell me how to live my life in order to be happy. i grew tired of it, tired of trying to please everyone. so i stopped trying to please everybody else and just tried to please myself and amazing things started happening. i started making myself happy and as a result made others happy in the process. things started falling into place.i was browsing youtube one day in July and randomly decided to search for dreadlocks. to my surprise i seen hundreds of videos of people of all different backgrounds, ethnicitys, and nationalities. it was incredible. one in particular was of another mexican man who i thought looked similar to me by name of Micheal Felix Sosa, his locks to me looked awesome. that's when i told myself, "i can get dreads too." and i knew they would look good on me. August i began to grow my hair out for the first time ever in my lifetime, it was really weird for me, there were a few awkward stages but i loved every step of the way. May 1st i took the plunge and officially began my dread journey and couldn't be happier.If my dreads had an expression it would be, "Let go." when i started this whole process i began to let go of all the things people wanted from me and some even expected of me. this is "MY" life and whether i'm happy or not will depend on what "I" do with it and make of it. i can live with that. that is why, although i am still going through a lot of crazy things in my life even now, i can still say i am happy.
Shade Of Ashes
7 years ago
78 posts

@MassKuruption: Thank you for the kudos! :) I love that you did it for your own happiness! That is one of the best reasons at all to have dreads! Thank you so much for sharing.

7 years ago
46 posts

I have always loved my hair (kinda weird, whatever). I felt strange cutting it, like I wasn't supposed to. 8 years of not cutting my hair and its past my butt. I cant wear it down because it gets pulled my babies and carried away with the wind. I couldnt handle brushing all that hair so I just braided it and ignored it. It had started bothering me that I always had to make sure it was perfect and up and out of my way. I thought for about a day that the only option was to cut it so it didnt dangle in everyones way.

plus I shed to much! My floor my dishes and My BABY (who had to go to the hospital because a hair wraped around her toe and tightened around it so tight) is covered in my freaking hair!

I was on youtube looking up new up dos to keep all that hair outta my way and I came across a dreadlock video. I had never even thought of it before. I thought her hair was cool. I googled "dreadlocks" and DHHQ came up in a jiffy. I looked all over the site and watched a few videos then tought HELL NO IM NOT PAYING YOU TO KNOT MY HAIR! So I continued on my dreading search... and was my next link. I looked and looked and stoped brushing for good the next day.However since June 10th (I know Im a NoOb) I have experienced a few things. I feel so beautiful. I feel hopeful. I honesty dont care what other people see when they look at me. My Married life ;);) is better, didnt know that could happen :) and I feel like not brushing my hair and not making my dreadlocks but watching my hair form is what I am meant to do. I have no Idea why I didnt think of this before. I never cut my hair, I dont wear ANY makeup, No tattoos, not a piercing on me. Everything about my style is simple now I dont even brush my hair.

Why I have dreadlocks; cause its easy bein' me. ;)

Amy Jo
7 years ago
50 posts

I've always had very long, thick hair. Over the years many people told me I should dread it. Two years ago I was diagnosed with colon and liver cancer and went through several major surgeries & chemo. I lost a lot of my hair. It's been a hard two years and I decided that if I had two clean scans (cancer free) that I would dread my hair in a celebration of life. Well, last month I got my second clean scan, so here I am with my 6 day old baby dreads!!

I am also very blessed to have family and friends who support me - it really helps me be able to be myself. At 51 years old society expects a certain look.... and it's not dreads. ha ha ha

7 years ago
10 posts

Truly amazing responses, loving this thread.

I wanted dreadlocks for a while; I always thought they were beautiful and anti-fashion. (I wrote this in my intro post so sorry for repeating but...) Basically, I was a junkie. I started locking my hair when I got clean. My dreadlocks and I need time and love to grow. They help me replace fear with love and acceptance. They mean so much to me.

7 years ago
198 posts

My story isn't too interesting but I'll share it anyways. Since I was about 16 dreadlocks have always interested me. Growing up most of my exes or friends with benefits all had dreadlocks. I had always played with them, squeezed them, ect and it almost put me in a state of calmness. When I first met my husband it was love at first site (mainly...because he had dreadlocks hah!). People say with the way I look at life and the way I dress I should have been alive in the 60s, I'm a hippie at heart <3 I have had a few random dreads in my hair throughout my years but I finally decided (after years of debating it) that I wanted my head dreaded. Although mine are only a week old I feel more at peace with myself and I feel like my head is smiling all the time. I cannot wait until they each have their own personality/loops/ect. PLUS every dreadhead I've ever met are just overall beautiful, nice people. I admire them :)

Baba Fats
7 years ago
2,706 posts

Nothing boring about that. It's wonderful that you feel so calm when playing with locks, even if they aren't yours. That's great. I like to grab one or 2 of mine when I get a bit stressed out

7 years ago
597 posts

This is going to be a blog post at some point, I just hadn't gotten to opening myself up about it yet...
I've always thought they were amazing & beautiful, I was held back from them because my parents wouldn't allow it & I thought I would have to shave my head afterwards (misinformation goes a long ways).
I've struggled with depression & eating disorders for a very long while. Bouncing between doing okay & really struggling for years. I hit a very very low point, the lowest in about 10 years, I started self harming again, I was letting myself waste away. I wrote out a letter for my husband for my final wishes. I cleaned out all of my things so he wouldn't have to deal with them. For some reason dreading popped back into my head after years of dismissing it. I googled.
I found this site, I learned I didn't have to shave my head, I learned wax is a dread killer. I learned I could help myself heal. I learned if going natural I wouldn't have to do a thing (I've always hated my hair, the color the styles, the cuts, doing anything with's been up in a pony tail for years, never would hold a curl.) I read it would take about 3 years for mature dreads so I promised myself 3 years of no brushing, 3 years of life to try & change.
I stopped brushing. I enjoyed my hair for the first time in my life. I felt beautiful for the only time other than my pregnancies. I loved myself, I felt comfortable being myself, I loved letting my hair go free & wild. After a couple short months, even without any knots forming, I felt so much better. I'm still struggling constantly, but I'm working through it & my "better" days are much better, my bad days aren't always so bad.
In short I dreaded to save my life.

Baba Fats
7 years ago
2,706 posts

Congrats. Growing locks have been used to heal eating disorders, depression, anxiety, even just plain shyness.

Than you for sharing this personal information about yourself. We are not here to judge you. Only to help you. But I can see you already began to help yourself

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