once i made the decision in my head, before i even started them, i just started feeling happier. then i started making them and now i'm doing neglect, and even though i have had pretty much no support from my family and friends (except my bro), strangely i feel better about myself than ever before! basically just a huge self confidence boost 
I'm only two and a half weeks in, but I can tell you the results I'm hoping for. I made a promise to myself at the end of last month, on my birthday, that I would be who I am, regardless of what people say, and how other people feel about me. I promised myself that I'll learn to love me as I am, and stop worrying about what I feel like I'm 'supposed' to be. My dreads are intended to be a constant, every day reminder that I can be odd, awesome, strong, powerful, meek, loving, protective, and round; all at the same time; and still be a beautiful person.
I don't know, how I have changed since the decision of having dreads.. but I have seen these really strange dreams.
I have already two times this year decided to let my hair dread and everytime I have made the decision, I've had these weird dreams. In the first one I was with my classmates, and one of them said to me: "You have really changed, you are now fully changed spiritually." And I became so happy in that dream! It was a bit of a disappointment to wake up.
In the second dream, which was last week, another classmate of mine somehow.. did somekind of a treatment on me, spiritual healing or something like that and then she showed me two roads. One was the road of life and it was sunny and warm, and golden and the other one was a road of death and of course it was dark and scary. Most of the people I saw walked towards the road of life, but I didn' t - I chose the road of death but to my surprise, I wasn't scared at all. I somehow became "friends" with death.
Well, I don't know about these dreams, but they sure were strange, and oddly enough, happened to me every time I made the decision to dread.
At first I wanted dreads because I didn't like xyz about myself and I felt that dreading my hair would solve at least some of those issues. Now they are becoming an outward expression of an internal struggle, I started them out of vanity and pride. Now, I maintain them because that's just what hair does. Hair dreads therefore I have dreads.
The change it's brought into me is that they have helped me become more aware"No, I don't care about my hair. THat's why I am dreading it. But I don't like my loopies or zig zags etc." Sort of a contradiction. I see myself moving towards a simple zen of life though this is a moment by moment process. Right now I feel this way but tomorrow or next week I might find myself rolling them, or wrapping them because I want them to look different. That's o.k. too. I'm trying to not judge myself, others, or anything as good or bad it simply is. Same goes for my feelings on my locs.
My dreads have allowed me to focus my attention on what is more important to me now; love, tranquility, family, not necessarily in that order :p. they have taught me to embrace aspects of myselft that are unique and different instead of conforming to society, and i believe they have allowed the people close to me to accept and embrace those things about me as well because of my hair. they bring about opportunities that i never would have dreamt, and have given me the confidence to take control and shape each opportunity to suit me instead of trying to fit into a space created by someone else which it how i used to treat life. i <3 my dreads and my dreads <3 me.
thanks and i definitely agree with your big post, there is no one form of beauty. maybe it's just the artist in me, but i see beauty everywhere from the cracks on the sidewalk to mold growing in an old cup. glad your hair reflects you truly now, mine is always changing right now and i feel myself evolving at the same time. love and light
kaedence said:
That's awesome Paige!! I definitely relate XD
Paige Bouvard said:once i made the decision in my head, before i even started them, i just started feeling happier. then i started making them and now i'm doing neglect, and even though i have had pretty much no support from my family and friends (except my bro), strangely i feel better about myself than ever before! basically just a huge self confidence boost
Very eloquently put. I feel the exact same. This is just a more detailed way to say it than I did
kaedence said:
Haha...this is a BIG question, forgive my big answer...;~}
I've always prided myself on not needing anyone's permission to be myself. At the same time, I always felt this strange sense that my flat/straight hair said something frustratingly inaccurate about me, and it was the sense of this blatant miscommunication that sometimes stunted my sense of self-expression.As far as the ways I've changed along the dreading process, I actually don't really feel like I have "dreads" at all. I just feel like me. Before I dreaded my hair, I felt off, but from the moment I began the dreading process 6+ months ago I felt like I was taking off some false stricture I'd had encasing me my entire life. What feels even more liberating, at this point, is that I'm just mostly letting them do their own radically wild thing despite the fact that some unexpected/close people have issues with that. It even feels empowering to be able to hear their criticisms and consciously recognize that they have a different relationship to beauty than I do.
There is no one form of beauty. A smooth, cylindrically formed, rope like dread is just as beautiful to me as a wild loopy frizzy clump of hair. It's good to be reminded that bigotry hides in unlikely places and open acceptance is available for exploration as soon as we're ready. I feel like I can give people something when I do not let their criticisms degrade the way I feel about my hair. It suggests an alternative perspective is possible---a confidence based beyond the dictates of a commercial imperative that demands commercially procured uniformity (even in "hippie" guise).
But on a broader level, beyond my sense of self-image, dreading has come at the same time as a number of other wonderfully liberating changes, so it's hard to say if one is the result of another. I think they're interconnected. Maybe I wouldn't have come to certain conclusions (such as dreading my hair) until I was ready to come to others (such as manifesting my personal life vision, beyond the mores of society). In other words, I find myself much in the same space as yourself. It is wonderfully exciting, no??
Thanks for asking such a thought provoking question. It would be kickass to to hear more about the ways these experiences are developing for you. Happy journeys friend!!
I guess after 7 years with my dreads I don't care so much about other people's opionions, I'm not sure I ever really did. I used to be Agoraphobic, which is a fear of being around alot of people, crowds...being judged by those people or embarrassed in front of them. I think it's helped alot with those fears as well as the passing of alot of time. I still get bad days when someone's remark will cut me to the bone...when my son tells me that his class mates mother said that I look like a tramp (bum/homeless person) WhatI find funny about people's remarks is that they have failed to examine their own image and critique upon that.
I have not had any major spiritual awakenings, or any kind of epiphany...butI have found alot of things that I am interested in. I guess I have a greater interest in learning about everything than I used to. That's probably more to do with age. : )
Hey, what a great question to ask!
I have become waaaaay more self-confident. This might be too out there, but I'm gonna say it anyway:
I have always felt that shaving my legs and arm pits was sexist and totally unnecessary. Sooo, after having my dreads for a couple years, and gaining all that self-confidence, I have become much more comfortable with my whole entire body, as well as my thoughts. I have gained the confidence to walk around campus in shorts/skirts and raise my hand in class in a tank top, and now when people stare, it cracks me up! They have NO idea what's going on! It's great!
But aside from that, my dreads really have helped me mature a lot. I live in a pretty conservative town, and people have confronted me about my dreads quite often (thankfully more are simply trying to figure out what my hair is up to rather than insulting me!), so it has forced me to talk to lots of people I wouldn't normally be in contact with.
I also feel much more beautiful. I used to dye my hair all sorts of wacky colors, and it was sleek and very straight. It did not flatter my face at all. Now I have a sweet little fro of frizzies crowning my flowing locks, and i feel like a goddess some days!
Along with gaining self-confidence, I have been able to wear anything I like, even if it looks like trash to someone else. I don't wear makeup anymore, and haven't plucked my eyebrows inyears. I just feel so much more wholesome. It's for sure the best decision i have ever made. I feel like it has also taught me how to be humble, and how to not get hurt from things rude people might do or say.
So what about you? Would love to hear!
-Amelia
ive only had mine for a little over a week and the only thing ive noticed is that people stopped calling me sir at work and now its just dude or man but its ok i prefer it like that
