Is a womans sexual appeal/value really in her hair?

I originally posted this as a blog post, but have decided to move it here as a discussion.

Its been long accepted that women with long flowing, soft hair are considered more feminine, attractive and socially desirable. In every country I've been to this is the accepted view. A woman's value in all societies is based on her sexuality/attractiveness. On the whole dreads are not seen as attractive (unless of course your asking someone who has dreads.) So knowing this I decided to dread my hair to dissuade undesirable males who are quick to ask me out without knowing a thing about me. I thought dreading would act as a filter and for the most part its working. Living in L.A. were everyone is an actor or model its easy to feel a little out of place and undesirable, now that my hair has changed my value in this patriarchal society is now made lesser and its apparent. Has anyone else experienced it this way? How do women feel they are perceived with dreads as opposed to before the dreads? Is anyone having different (better or worse) dating experiences?

updated by @siri-nam-simran-kaur: 02/14/15 03:29:43AM

hello there, i agree with u on this, dreads can actually work as an effective tool for a woman to repel away unwated men as the general universal misconception of dreads being unattractive and dirty still holds itself firm... on the other hand u may end up finding some more trustworthy n open minded soulmates (friends, lovers, companions) who wont judge u on ur external appearances.. in fact they will try to know n understand the real person in u and try to discover the real beauty in u. the bond thus will be much more stronger and the connection will be on much higher level.

its funny how people tend to spend hours together just to look right and perfect but still somewhere are unhappy about their whole appearance.. on the other hand when u leave ur hair to dread u tend to embrace ur real being and accept and stay happy no matter how 'imperfect' u may look. so much more freedom when u arent a slave of people's judgements.

there are many facets to a woman's sex appeal.. those who just try to search for appeal in voice, eyes, walking style, waist, hips, breats, butt etc will always restrict themselves to a uni-dimensional view of the world as a whole. a woman's sensitivity, her compassion, modesty, service, trustworthiness, will power, value of truthfulness n clearance of thoughts is what makes her more feminine from inside. peace

I guess it depends what kind of man a woman is looking for as a mate. If a woman is looking for a successful businessman, chances are slim that a first date would not happen. These men work, live and breath for their bosses and to rise up the corporate ladder. Their trophy wives are expected to dress, look and act accordingly. This is true for other professions where the wives are expected to attend work parties etc.

A free spirited person, rich or poor, would find dreads awesome and know that you are an approachable person with a deep soul. Much preferrable, then you know the person loves you for you. Not because you are the best trophy on the shelf

Peace

Down to earth guys would find dreads sexy, I bet that someone like actor Matthew McConaughey would find them attractive, most free spirited guys would.

I've been with my husband for more moons than the age of some of you on here, so it will be interesting to read what the single gals have to say by experience...Peace.

i find dreads downright sexy

but it does help keep shallow ppl away

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

I had a lot of issues with questionable men hitting on me pre-dreads. It was awful, mostly because I can NOT stand the "Hey sexy/baby/cutie..." opener that those types would try to initiate a conversation with. That doesn't cover the beginnings of it though...I was "engaged" to a guy briefly - it's a long story for another time - and when I started my first set guess who was the most vocal against it? Guess what it finally opened my eyes to? The guy was a misogynistic, promiscuous, shallow, lying creep. And so were all the other guys out there just trying to get laid. I realized how dumb I was being and how bad it was for me to remain in that relationship. It was a part of the final straw.Now, seven months this set of locks, I still get attention from males albeit on a lesser scale from the kind only out for one thing... And more from the kind who want to talk, date, and get to know me. It's refreshing. I'm much happier dating with dreads than without. They attract the less shallow type of guys.I feel you're correct. My hair has had a huge influence on how I'm viewed by men. I love that I'm now more like a sentient being with feelings and personality rather than just another hott piece of ass on the meat market or whatnot, lol.

I don't have the same experience as most of you do. I get a lot more attention now that my hair is dreaded than I did before. I'm happily married so this attention is not wanted from my part. However, I only thinkthat my hair is indirectly responsible for this.Dreading marked a new beginning in my life and I'm much happier now. I Believe that this is the reason why I get more attention, I'm happy andI like myself andit shows.

Sheba,

Its really interesting to hear your input, I'll be moving to India come Jan. and I am often followed, stalked, grabbed, rubbed and harassed while in India. One of the reasons I'm dreading is to be clear even in my appearance that I'm a deeply spiritual woman and not the easy white rich woman they were conditioned to be attracted to. I hope it helps dissuade unwanted attention.

Sheba Basu said:

Sexuality is within a women and how she carries herself, I come from a rigid Indian culture where women tie their hair and oil them regularly to grow it long and not because they like it that way but becausetheirelders tell them that they will never find suitable proposals otherwise. I disagree with my culture and proudly wear my dreads, sometimes I have to defend my hairstyle because in India only devotees of Gods like Shiva have dreads, but I keep explaining to people that my hairstyle is what gives me a meaning to myexistenceas a person. So damn sexual appeal, my boyfriend loves me for who i am

"there are many facets to a woman's sex appeal.. those who just try to search for appeal in voice, eyes, walking style, waist, hips, breats, butt etc will always restrict themselves to a uni-dimensional view of the world as a whole. a woman's sensitivity, her compassion, modesty, service, trustworthiness, will power, value of truthfulness n clearance of thoughts is what makes her more feminine from inside. peace "

That was beautifully said. Amen to that!

Ojas Acharya said:

hello there, i agree with u on this, dreads can actually work as an effective tool for a woman to repel away unwated men as the general universal misconception of dreads being unattractive and dirty still holds itself firm... on the other hand u may end up finding some more trustworthy n open minded soulmates (friends, lovers, companions) who wont judge u on ur external appearances.. in fact they will try to know n understand the real person in u and try to discover the real beauty in u. the bond thus will be much more stronger and the connection will be on much higher level.

its funny how people tend to spend hours together just to look right and perfect but still somewhere are unhappy about their whole appearance.. on the other hand when u leave ur hair to dread u tend to embrace ur real being and accept and stay happy no matter how 'imperfect' u may look. so much more freedom when u arent a slave of people's judgements.

there are many facets to a woman's sex appeal.. those who just try to search for appeal in voice, eyes, walking style, waist, hips, breats, butt etc will always restrict themselves to a uni-dimensional view of the world as a whole. a woman's sensitivity, her compassion, modesty, service, trustworthiness, will power, value of truthfulness n clearance of thoughts is what makes her more feminine from inside. peace

Nice, I think people can feel your happy.

Sussi said:

I don't have the same experience as most of you do. I get a lot more attention now that my hair is dreaded than I did before. I'm happily married so this attention is not wanted from my part. However, I only thinkthat my hair is indirectly responsible for this.Dreading marked a new beginning in my life and I'm much happier now. I Believe that this is the reason why I get more attention, I'm happy andI like myself andit shows.