Some frustration on our society's norms. I need encouragement!

Hey great people Either today or tomorrow is my 6 month mark!! Pretty excited about it. I have about 20-25 dreads that i can grab and feel its awesome, most of them are in the back of my head, although i have a couple on each side of my head and one really long one coming in the dead front of my head. I have been washing with the dreadlocks shampoo from Vicki which is amazing and recommend to everybody. Right as I started I spent 35 bucks buying two bottles plus shipping, one was nag champa and the other was Dragon's blood. I already used up all of the Nag champa but it lasted me close to 5 1/2 months my hair smelled real good so its a worth investment. I'm in the very messy stage right now because I'm growing them naturally, and I love it it's a great experience. The only problem I'm having is getting a job. I started college this fall and well my family can't really afford paying for it so I've been paying it with scholarships and donations (here's the link, if people want to share it or maybe even donate http://www.gofundme.com/40n8oc ), but in order to pay next semester I need a job real soon. I've been looking for a while now, In the summer I got rejected from two places because I had two weeks in the middle booked for volunteering reasons, so I decided that I would just get one once school started. One thing I forgot to mention, is that I just got my job permit sometime around may because of DACA but that's not the point of the story. Once school started I had been working pretty hard to start well and get into good habits of most of my work in between classes or the days I go (1class-Monday, full day-Tuesday, 2classes-Wednesday, full day-Thursday) I left Friday to sunday open purposely to be available for busy days for a job. And I've been applying to many places, I even wear a button down when presenting myself to a new place, but I feel that my hair is killing my chances. I had talked to an assistant manager at a Dunkin Donuts for a week or so and everything was going pretty well and I thought I had the job on the bag, but a couple of days before my training was supposed to start, i got a call from this lady saying I had some paperwork missing so same day I went over and brought everything and she couldn't do something in the computer so she called the main manager and he walks in and gave me this look, kind of disgust on his face and I knew that was probably the reason, The first time I presented myself to the assistant manager I had a headband to make myself look more 'presentable', but this time I had nothing. When the manager walked in his face drastically changed from a smile to a serious kinda just disgusted in a way, maybe i'm imagining it but that was my impression. He did all the paper work stuff and then left, I talked to the ast. manager and she always very nice with me said she would give me a call in a couple of days until everything goes through. I trusted her, didn't think about the other guy too much, and waited, and waited until a week went by and I got worried that I hadn't gotten the call. So I left her an email politely asking if my services would still be required? And well I never got a response. That was about two or three weeks ago. So I kept on applying to places, sometimes I'm not old enough, I turn 18 on October, or I don't have the experience wanted, I've only got a little maintenance experience and volunteer work. And I mean I know it's part of life, but its real frustrating. I am a healthy 17 year old college boy, enthusiastic and fast learner, searching for a first opportunity. And I just haven't gotten one. I'm not even applying to food places because I guess my hair can be a health hazard/issue for them and it's annoying that I have wasted so much time to get rejected. I'm sorry i'm frustrated, I just one a chance. I know I'll get one sometime soon, but I need some encouragement and prayer. I really appreciate it, because I am at the point where I know that this is just gonna help me grow into a stronger person, but I need a job soon otherwise I wont be able to pay for next semester. I've decided to give myself 2 weeks if I don't have a job, I'll be real sorry to do it, but I'll buzz my hair just to find a job, because I need it not because I want to. I get really annoyed how society presents long hair on men as unproffesional and dreads are looked down upon, it really gets to me that I would have to conform into such a stupid norm. If I do get to the extreme and buzz them, hopefully not, then I'll start again, but this time I'll try to do the Nazirite bow, Idk if it works like that but still I want to do it, but I like grapes haha. Well good dready people hope you haven't gone through something like this and keep me in your prayers. Have a fantastic day

updated by @jimmy-dc: 04/23/19 09:28:45AM

apply everywhere dont limit yourself cause yiu believe they believe its a hazzard

we have many dreadies working in food places

call duncan..dont email..call

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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Read Soaring Eagle's blog on "The Spirituality of Dreadlocks." It is inspiring. Also, I am a lawyer. So far, no one, not a judge or any other colleague have made a negative statement to me. I wear my hair back in a pony tail, bun or sometimes a headband to make it neat. Your posture and confidence and the way you dress and present yourself will get you a job. That includes the way you keep your hair. Restaurants and places where you work with people don't allow beards or tank tops at work. There are people who judge dreadlocks, so businesses may be more leery . . . mostly because of the public you have contact with. But it's not just the dreads, its more the neatness. If ur going to meet an employer, always put your best face on. As you may have noticed in relationships as well, it doesn't ever get any better that the first impression and the "honeymoon" period thereafter.

And one last thought . . . my husband, 17 years my senior, looked nothing like the person I had imagined or wanted to marry. But his confidence and personality made him the most beautiful man in the world for me. Confidence trumps all.

Yeah I know I'm not purely blaming my hair, but I feel that the lack of experience plays a big role on me not getting a job, but what happened in dunkin felt like a slap because i had basically gotten the job and then I never got the call/email to start my training. And it's annoying that people won't give a person a chance so I wrote this discussion very frustrated but with hope.

Karl Gard said:

Don't blame your hair because you can't get a job, You said you lack of work experience so my guess would be that might the reason you haven't found a job. Be persistent and the hair part is probably in your head, the employer want people that work hard. Don't just apply for work that is focused on serving costumers because there is a lot more work available.

I have also been dreading for around 5-6 months and is also looking for a job, I have some experience and have gotten both positive and negative responses. Some employers are just tired or having a bad day and might not show disgust to dreads but to all the people that is applying for work.
The reason they employ people is to make money, if they think a person will be more profitable for the company they will hire that person even if they have dreads or not. The positive responses I have received is the smiles of people that actually enjoy talking and see that people go to their companies to look for work. Don't just send mails or you be just a another number in the the deck of CVs.

If your looking for work in a makeup store they will judge your appearance because you will be trying to sell an idea of clown looking robots ( my own thoughts about makeup) if you don't look like those people why would they want you to sell their products? The same goes for cloth stores for me they see I'm not interested in that that might be the reason they reject me, also the cloth stores are harder to get since they have so many applicants .

My friend that looks good and normal have even more problem getting a job because he don't have the same amount of experience as I do,
My point is don't blame your hair because the job market is hard and that they want people that have 5 years experience to help costumers find apples and bread in a supermarket.

I will go and read it this afternoon after i'm done with classes! It's great that there are people so succesful with dreads fighting these connotations and beliefs against dreadlocks. Thank you for the tips I'll make sure to follow them!

Tina Mother's Milk said:

Read Soaring Eagle's blog on "The Spirituality of Dreadlocks." It is inspiring. Also, I am a lawyer. So far, no one, not a judge or any other colleague have made a negative statement to me. I wear my hair back in a pony tail, bun or sometimes a headband to make it neat. Your posture and confidence and the way you dress and present yourself will get you a job. That includes the way you keep your hair. Restaurants and places where you work with people don't allow beards or tank tops at work. There are people who judge dreadlocks, so businesses may be more leery . . . mostly because of the public you have contact with. But it's not just the dreads, its more the neatness. If ur going to meet an employer, always put your best face on. As you may have noticed in relationships as well, it doesn't ever get any better that the first impression and the "honeymoon" period thereafter.

Thanks Soaring eagle I won't give up, I can't. I just felt a lot of frustration not being able to to accomplish much but Karl is right i shouldn't blame my coming dreads. And Yes I've been applying like crazy

soaring eagle said:

apply everywhere dont limit yourself cause yiu believe they believe its a hazzard

we have many dreadies working in food places

call duncan..dont email..call

Luckily yesterday and today were really good days for me. I believe it was from all the prayers and good vibes people were sending me. I received a call when i was doing some work in the school library, and i usually have almost no reception but for1 minute i got done reception and i received a callfrom a number i didn't recognized so i went outside to call back the number and it was from a place close by wherei applied not so long ago and i have an interview tomorrow. And well that really raised my spirit and gave me more confidence on not giving up. Hopefully I'll get this job its working with little kids which would be great because i have twin little brothers and plan on having a big family. Well thank you to everybody again and keep on sending me the good vibes and prayers I'll be doing the same for all of you

aww well goodluck yes many of us have gone through more than one the things ur living through atm. peace an prayers bro Jazz i hope can stay dready

A little update, I've been working on the weekends but its only for a couple of hours which is both good and bad. Good because I won't be getting exhausted from it and it won't affect much if any my performance in school. But it's bad because I have to raise the money for next semester. Luckily I think I am needed and I'm willing to work really hard whatever amount of hours I get, i get along pretty well with everybody who works there and having this kind of 'informal' hair/look kind of thing is something kids just love. Looking forward for this experience. Also a week after starting my training here dunkin donuts called me, but I felt that I couldn't blow this woman off after giving me the chance not many were willing to give, maybe it was the right choice maybe not only time will give me these answers. Well good people just keep sending me good vibes and prayers because they truly work and I know God has a plan for me and He is leading me through life right now and I know that he has put everybody I meet and those I don't for a reason. Well night to you all and have a great rest of the year

updated by @jimmy-dc: 07/22/15 05:16:45AM