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Losing Patience- Need a good kick in the pants

6 years ago
2 posts

So, I'm 8 1/2 Months into this journey and I've loved it. Here's where my problem comes in-

When I'm around the house, hair is wild and free. I love to wear it down. On the occasions where I go out, I put on a headpiece of some kind (wrap, tam, etc) to help out because my dreads are a bit wild. Finally, about 3 weeks ago, I decided to wrap my hair a bit because the dreads were going everywhere, congo-ing, and I had to go to some interviews and appointments I had to look "tame" for. So, wrapped them. Now that all that hullabaloo is over, I finally unwrapped them tonight.

They are back to being crazy. I know that it takes about 2-3 years before they start looking good. I started this journey to, in part, teach me patience. But with the holidays coming up, I'm starting to stress a bit. I need some reassurance that they will, eventually, look good.
The part I have the most trouble with is the back of my hair. It looks like I've this circle of balding in the back of my head. I have super thick hair so I thought it would look more evenly distributed, but it doesn't. Also, I know that the roots will eventually start looking better, but right now they're a pain in my butt.
With winter coming my war with dry skin has already started and thus the whole dandruff war. I'm trying to mess a bit with the mixture so that I can combat it, but I'm having a hard time keeping it so that it's not gross looking now.

I feel like I'm losing focus, like I'm losing my patience. This is the first time I've started feeling this way. For the first time I'm considering taking the dreads out. Hubby says I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I do it. I guess I'm asking for some honest advice, anecdotes, or someone to tell me to go f- myself. I just need a good kick in the pants or some agreement. I don't really know what I'm looking for. I'm at a crossroads and I guess I just needed to ... talk.

updated by @fieryfaeriefury: 01/13/15 09:37:11PM
Thane Andrew Fox * Dancing Fox *
6 years ago
7 posts

I don't know what you're talking about. As those pictures are dated to be from today i'd say they look absolutely fantastic. Definitley do not cut them. THey are your dreads and I dare say they look amazing. It's the journey and it's always going to be difficult. I started mine out using the complete wrong method ( wax and backcombing.. eghh ) but i'm not going to give up on them. Jah wouldn't want me to quit and the committment tthey represent is far greater. Don't give up. Your dreads look great and you will regret it if you end up taking them out. :(

I hope you feel better about it soon. YOu truly have nothing to worry about they look great. :D:D

Much love,


6 years ago
518 posts

Sweetie they're lovely! I don't see anything baldy or otherwise about the back of your head. They're kinked from being wrapped but after a few washings they'll fluff up. I thinking the color the shap the roots the ends the everything about them is just perfect. I can relate to what you're going thru. I went thru a stage where I thought my hair just looked like total hell and was seriously considering shaving my head. What changed was my activity here at this site. It's literally saved my dreads!

I think you are just precious lol you have a great loo and the dreadies suit you perfectly! Congrats on making it this far and Congrats on the impending new baby!

☮ soaring eagle ॐ
6 years ago
28,585 posts

umm your waiting for thenm to look good when thry look good now


i was hanging out with baba ram dass at a gathering

someone offered asked him if he missed doing lsd

he looked at him and said

do you you board a bus headed to memphis when your in downtown memphis?

the thing yiur waiting to have you alrewady have

so stop hiding them when u go out show them off be proud

u walk out that door with nothing on yoir head u wil get all the i love yiur dreads u need ti cary pn

thats my p[ hawtss no head covgerijngs ..nothing show off those beautyies and be proud

27 years growing dreadlocks the natural way
My dreads are over 9 feet long

also on the board of, and a student glider pilot with freedoms wings international
6 years ago
1,291 posts

your kidding, right? they look awesome!! no wrap necessary. i know how you feel though. i go through the same thing from time to time and coming on here really helps boost your dread confidence. your dreads are never going to look like other peoples dreads or what you hadenvisionedwhen you started. they're unique like you so just embrace them and stay away from mirrors when your in a funk;)

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