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Feeling discouraged and worried about having dreads again

3 years ago
7 posts

So now that I've started my third dread journey, I've become a bit discouraged. My family isn't necessarily unsupportive of them. Both of my parents were more or less fine with it in the past but they had their own misunderstandings like anyone would. 

I am mainly worried because I developed mildew/mold the other times I had dreads (Or I thought I had at least). Because of this, my dad seems to believe that I am just "not meant to have dreads". He told me that I was so anxious and angsty and that I should of have just "washed my hair". 

The thing is, I of course ALWAYS washed my hair. I told him this too but he just kept mentioning that I didn't? It doesn't make any sense. He also kept trying to say that my hair may have gotten mildew because it wasn't clean enough, when really we all know that mildew doesn't happen for that reason. I did occasional deep cleans and the water was always super clear and not murky at all. Basically, my dreads were always very clean, even if they maybe didn't dry properly. 

I also find it funny that he thinks I was so angsty about it. I was so happy with my first set of dreads and the only reason I was ever upset was because I felt I had to get rid of them, or the issues I was having were stressing me out. This had nothing to do with the actual dreads themselves though. He doesn't seem to understand that either.

So now that I am starting my third and hopefully final set, I am dreading (haha) having to tell them, or anyone that I am doing it. I know they are going to say those same things and be so shocked as to why I would even want to. I've wanted to for the longest time though. When I combed them out the first time I wanted them back. When I shaved my head I wanted them back too. For months all I've thought about when it comes to what I want to do with my hair has been dreads. 

They are truly what I want most even if having other hairstyles is easier. 

In addition, I am going to be living with a family from Germany soon in sort of an "au-pair" situation and I have not told them yet either. Should I even have to tell them? Me having dreads is not a reflection of my personality or how I will act with their family. I am worried they will think I would be a bad example for their kids:( In reality they probably won't care at all. 

I guess I'm just curious what you all have to say about this or if you've experienced it too. 

updated by @thirdtimesacharm: 02/21/19 11:51:22PM
Gazzunger the Grey
3 years ago
85 posts
HI 3X I've just started my first and hopefully last.... its slowly starting to happen for me and I've only had negative commentsfrom my brother so far, which I know
is just to try and wind me up (hes a negative/narrow minded type).
Don't worry what others think of you... if you're happy with dreads, then they suit you, enjoy them
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
3 years ago
29,515 posts

and dont worry about the family  in fact if theres a possibility introduce youurself to the kids 1st maybe with a gift to breal the ice if the kids like ya so will the parents

before going buy a bottle of rot knot just in case

30 years growing dreadlocks the natural way
My dreads are over 10 feet long

also on the board of, and a student glider pilot with freedoms wings international - soaring for people with disabilities
Peace Shalom
3 years ago
44 posts
I saw saw this quote today, seemed fitting to pass on:

"Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Mister Rogers
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