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You're Gonna Love This! My Response To My Mom's Sarcastic Remarks About My Dreads...

Michelle D. Ransdell
4 years ago
38 posts

Earlier today, some of you may have seen my discussion about some of the nasty things people said recently in response to my announcement (to my family) that I'm about to dread my hair...

Well also today, I chatted with my mom on Facebook and she was nagging at me to change my mind. She said a bunch of crap about how I will ruin my hair and it will look silly and blah blah blah.... Once she realized that I would never change my mind, she started getting really pissy with me and ended our conversation by saying: "Well good luck with your dreads project. Maybe there'll be a miracle and yours won't look as ridiculous as others. Good luck."

Of course, she was being sarcastic and wanted to shoot me down, since her efforts to coax me away from my decision were in vain. I decided to play dumb and thank her for her wishes of good luck. This is what I typed to her:

"I don't care if mine are uniform and perfect-looking or odd and wild. They are what they are--some are wavy, some are straight, some are thick, some are thin, some are more kinda lumpy and some are more uniform. Some even attach together or split into two and form what's called a 'congo'. For me it's not a fashion thing. It's spiritual. It represents truly letting go of vanity and not caring what others think, as dread-heads receive a great deal of rude questions and silent ostracism from their peers and the general public. And of course, you know that I like to be unique. It's a journey of learning patience, as dreadlocks can take up to a year or more to fully lock-up and reach what's called 'dread-maturity'. It's also a good way to find out who's worth your time as a friend and who's not, as starting dreads will generate a lot of different responses from the people in your life. As Dr. Seuss states: Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. Also, dreads are the most natural thing you can do for your hair. Think about it--- hair existed before combs did... In prehistoric times, everyone had dreadlocked hair, but modern society has conditioned us to look down on anything that requires little or no maintenance. (There is a difference between maintenance and hygiene.) In today's world, being 'high-maintenance' is equated to being of 'high status'. People unconsciously think to themselves: "I spend more time on myself than that person over there, therefore I'm better than him/her." I think it's bullshit. The way a person behaves defines their worth, not their appearance or 'time spent' on their hair, shaving, outfit-coordination or makeup. Also I'm doing it for practicality's sake... I want long hair, but hate brushing it--it's always been painful as I am VERY tender-headed. The solution? Dreads. I appreciate you wishing me luck, Mom. It means the world to me. Starting dreads isn't easy... I need all the support I can get and I'm so glad to know you and Mark, Lisa, Kristen and other people are behind me in my decision."

She has not replied back not that it matters... She's entitled to her opinions. She doesn't like my decision and hates even more that it's beyond her control, as she is and always has been a control-freak from Hell. She will get over it. I predict that she will be buying me beads and dread shampoo for Xmas in 10 months, even.

Also, I would like to acknowledge that person mentioned in my passage are my husband (Mark), my sister (Kristen) and our roommate (Lisa). They are, in fact, very in favor of me dreading my hair and are cheering me on.

Anyhow, I thought my statements to her were worth sharing, being that they may be inspiring to some folks who may be struggling with nosy, opinionated family members regarding their dreads. I have received a great deal of support and helpful hints from people on this site and I would like to thank them. In my short time here so far, Soaring Eagle has been a fantastic mentor and all else have been gracious comrades. I hope that what I have shared today help others feel as encouraged and loved as I have felt since joining this family of dreadies.


updated by @michelle-d-ransdell: 01/13/15 10:01:53PM
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
4 years ago
28,688 posts

congrats and good job

27 years growing dreadlocks the natural way
My dreads are over 9 feet long

also on the board of, and a student glider pilot with freedoms wings international
Michelle D. Ransdell
4 years ago
38 posts

Thank you so much Soaring Eagle! When I said in the post that you've been a good source of support and inspiration, I meant it. :)

4 years ago
11 posts

Beautiful response!! :) Im sure we all get grief from people. But thats part of the journey! Letting go! :) Good luck with your dready poos!! The journey is well worth it@!!!!

4 years ago
41 posts
Love love love!!
Jimmy DC
4 years ago
87 posts

Well said. Vanity makes people live in a fantasy world. Maybe you have reached your mother's heart and she will have an epiphany. Maybe she'll even get dreads after she sees you in a year haha. Have an awesome time dreading and seeing the progress its awesome

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