knotty jonny clean dreadlocks philosophy (yes its comedy but hes a joke isnt he?)

dreads happen on theyre own, but why let dreads happen without effort when you can spend hundreds of hours and hundreds of dollars forcing them to dread?dreads need to move to dread but now you can prevent dreads from moving with wax and simulate movement with palm rolling instead.wax stays in dreads forever but everytime u dont feel sticky you should add more wax, and, of you do feel sticky you should add dread butta instead (then you wont feel sticky so add more wax till you do then butta wax butta wax butta wax till u run oit and buy some more.dreadlocks sometimes get dandruff so add lock peppa store bought dandruffs cleaner, also our soap causes dandruff too and we know itchings even worse then being sticky so now u no longer have to scratch your head buy the head honcho instead.so stiff sticky dreads have been rolled to death rubbed and forced into a perfect shape but somehow a hair slipped out a loop apeared a lump showed up what can you do to look like you have a wig? now dreadheadhq offeres a full line of tools, get out your toolbox and pick a poker and poke away the loose hair tools only 1/2 as thick as your dread so will only break 1/2 your hairs but will catch that 1 hair that escaped and pull iy back inside the gaping hole u just made. got a loop sure that just means your hair is dreading but we cant have that they must never misbehave so call out the lock doctathis docta maybe a quack maybe want to just hack away and amputate for a pimple or freckle but now the amazing lock docta from dreadheadhq can poke away break every hair it touches and remove that unsightly bump..by removing the entire dread! isnt that wonderful?eww whats that smekll now? dread rot? dont worry 10 years after we creatted a problem we are now working on a solution (yea we arte aware that it wont be a problem if u stop using oiur crap but how will we rip u off if we admit that?)weve cured dread rot in almost 3% (shh dont tell anyone we used baking soda and herbs to do that) we are currejtly experimenting with piss and octypuss semen to see if that will solve the problem our experiments include pissing on 1 dread then jerking off an octypuss on another and seeing which 1 smells worsewe look forward to providing even more harmful products and tools in the future so we can create more problems that nedd to be solved with more products.how much are you willing to waste on boring sticky dreads? lets find out!(disclaimer no dreads have been harmed in the making of this commercial, wax does not cause harm or stay in dreads, sls doesnt cause cancer unless you already had cancer from other products containing sls, butta smells good so just use it ok? sure u dont need a comb to scratch but cpme on buy it anyway, and dread rots not caused by wax its caused by water trapped in dreads with dirt you cant prove the waters trapped in wax cause i wont admit the wax stays in there wax wurks mmkay see iz guts de dreds boiiii u cent rglue wif dat mahhhn)


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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1
updated by @soaring-eagle: 01/13/15 08:43:04PM

LOL! This actually brightened up my day.Amazing :D

well ultimately the experiment failed the stench of dread rot and butta from theyre own dreads drowned out the piss and semen smells plus jonny and sloan started arguing about who hot to "extract" the octypus sementhey are now working on a stronger formula made from kerosene hydrocloric acid mercury and plutonuim with a lil spearment for a nice scent


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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1