Heartbroken

Thanks for the tips. I will definitely try them. One thing, my hair isn't oily anymore since weaning it off of soap and just using BS/EO rinse. I don't use vinegar cause it softens my hair too much. Perhaps Im using too much EOs, I will adjust those too. I thought of getting a wave perm so it would be more prone to knots, I dunno though. If you backcomb dreads in, do they have to have something to hold them together? Or will just backcombing do it? I will not use wax or anything like that.
updated by @kai-rayne: 07/23/15 03:35:41AM

tnr tends to hold better then backcomb id tnr u shouldnt need anything to hold em in just knots

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

My hair is doing the same as yours, but my sections are sitll together somewhat. The ones on the sides are undone somewhat, but they are locking really weirdly. Like, and inch from the root is locking more and then the rest is just as slow as a snail. But I feel you on the hair that's not locking at the nape of your neck. I tried tnr with them to make them really uber skinny ones, but the one that was really good came undone. Made me really mad. Some of the hairs on my right side though are starting to go with another one of my more locked dreads, but it has a braided wrap around it. My hair is naturally straight when it's long, but flips at the ends when it's short, so maybe that helps a little for me? Not too sure.I also have beads on my sections. Not all of them, just the ones that my beads can fit on. So mayeb that will help yours. Happy dreading(:

So is it typical for the TNR to come undone? The roots grew out and were all straight and not knotting at all and then they fellapart, like I mentioned before.

I think I have decided against a perm. I have been looking at the chemicals and such and my skin is way sensitive, I'm pretty sure I'd burn my scalp. If I can't get my hair to lock, I'm going to shave my head, cause its either dreads or no hair. lol

all starter methods have the potential to come undone. Read the FAQ there's some good info in there that will answer all the basics. I think you're smart for avoiding the chemicals but that's just my personal opinion :o)

I know that this is going to sound harsh...but, only becauseI feel likeI or SE have repeated it a zillion times without anyone seeming to hear it. When you T&R, backcomb, dread perm...whatever...you aren't putting dreads in...you do not have dreads, because you can not make dreads. All you are doing is roughening up your cuticle (outside layer of hair) and it is an illusion or preview of what is to come. I hear frustration consistently when the "dreads" come undone. When infact, you should be cheering because now your hair can really begin to dread. I have found that hair that is very silky and healthy has a great difficulty gettting started. When you use a starter method you are putting the hair into a temporary state of mild damage...which aids in knotting. But, ultimately the hair will return to a healthy state if you don't do something to continue keeping the cuticle "agitated" so to speak.When I started, my hair was extremely healthy and smooth. It took almost 7 mos. for me to even get a knot. I now know that a large part of that was due to my previous healthy habits, but also becauseI was convinced that I could maintain the same level of health in my hair and dread. Well, that is impossible. Hair that is chemical free will always be healthier than one that has been permed or colored or bleached...but, you still need to routinely roughen that cuticle for hair to actually felt or knit together which is dreads. In my professional opinion, most people walk around with damaged hair.And it is enough damage that I cringe...but, this type of hair will dread like a dream. Hair that poses a difficulty is either well cared for or of a particular natural texture that it is not prone to tangles...such as, some Asian hair (straight, silky and coarse). First off, until you have been at it atleast a year, you can't say you are giving up because you haven't given it a fair shot. Second...stop the essential oils completely for now. Use the BS if you like but i would also suggest a method that allows you to rub your hair in the shower...like a dread bar. Also, I use ocean water every time I shampoo...I spray it on my hair after washing and leave it. Because it is the correct level of salt (nature knows best!), it doesn't sem to upset my scalp. Sleep on a wool sweater or wear your tam 50% of the time for awhile.Realize, that when you begin to see what may be a horrifying hair condition in contrast to your previous state...you will also most likely see true results in your dreading. You know I love you Kai...and I wish you all the best. But, I also know through my own experience that dreading can not be rushed and it is a long process for some. You just have to keep plodding along. I do believe that a part of the dread journey is also learning to get out of our way and accept that we can not control certain things and at times we need to let go of what we expect to get what we want. I was convinced of how my journey should go and i painfully fought what should be....once i just stopped...it happened Blessings Sister.

Panterra Caraway said:

I know that this is going to sound harsh...but, only becauseI feel likeI or SE have repeated it a zillion times without anyone seeming to hear it. When you T&R, backcomb, dread perm...whatever...you aren't putting dreads in...you do not have dreads, because you can not make dreads. All you are doing is roughening up your cuticle (outside layer of hair) and it is an illusion or preview of what is to come. I hear frustration consistently when the "dreads" come undone. When infact, you should be cheering because now your hair can really begin to dread. I have found that hair that is very silky and healthy has a great difficulty gettting started. When you use a starter method you are putting the hair into a temporary state of mild damage...which aids in knotting. But, ultimately the hair will return to a healthy state if you don't do something to continue keeping the cuticle "agitated" so to speak.When I started, my hair was extremely healthy and smooth. It took almost 7 mos. for me to even get a knot. I now know that a large part of that was due to my previous healthy habits, but also becauseI was convinced that I could maintain the same level of health in my hair and dread. Well, that is impossible. Hair that is chemical free will always be healthier than one that has been permed or colored or bleached...but, you still need to routinely roughen that cuticle for hair to actually felt or knit together which is dreads. In my professional opinion, most people walk around with damaged hair.And it is enough damage that I cringe...but, this type of hair will dread like a dream. Hair that poses a difficulty is either well cared for or of a particular natural texture that it is not prone to tangles...such as, some Asian hair (straight, silky and coarse). First off, until you have been at it atleast a year, you can't say you are giving up because you haven't given it a fair shot. Second...stop the essential oils completely for now. Use the BS if you like but i would also suggest a method that allows you to rub your hair in the shower...like a dread bar. Also, I use ocean water every time I shampoo...I spray it on my hair after washing and leave it. Because it is the correct level of salt (nature knows best!), it doesn't sem to upset my scalp. Sleep on a wool sweater or wear your tam 50% of the time for awhile.Realize, that when you begin to see what may be a horrifying hair condition in contrast to your previous state...you will also most likely see true results in your dreading. You know I love you Kai...and I wish you all the best. But, I also know through my own experience that dreading can not be rushed and it is a long process for some. You just have to keep plodding along. I do believe that a part of the dread journey is also learning to get out of our way and accept that we can not control certain things and at times we need to let go of what we expect to get what we want. I was convinced of how my journey should go and i painfully fought what should be....once i just stopped...it happened Blessings Sister.

Thanks sweetie! I'll just keep on keepin on. I currently have sea water on my hair pending a shower. I am going all natural this time, no starter methods.

I was in whole foods today and saw some knottyboy products and almost bought a dread bar, but it was very expensive. Yikes!

Good for you baby girl! You will get there, of that I am sure. People don't dread for no reason. You were called to the process because it was what you needed Hang in there and let your heart be happy (((HUGS)))

Kai Rayne said:

Panterra Caraway said:

I know that this is going to sound harsh...but, only becauseI feel likeI or SE have repeated it a zillion times without anyone seeming to hear it. When you T&R, backcomb, dread perm...whatever...you aren't putting dreads in...you do not have dreads, because you can not make dreads. All you are doing is roughening up your cuticle (outside layer of hair) and it is an illusion or preview of what is to come. I hear frustration consistently when the "dreads" come undone. When infact, you should be cheering because now your hair can really begin to dread. I have found that hair that is very silky and healthy has a great difficulty gettting started. When you use a starter method you are putting the hair into a temporary state of mild damage...which aids in knotting. But, ultimately the hair will return to a healthy state if you don't do something to continue keeping the cuticle "agitated" so to speak.When I started, my hair was extremely healthy and smooth. It took almost 7 mos. for me to even get a knot. I now know that a large part of that was due to my previous healthy habits, but also becauseI was convinced that I could maintain the same level of health in my hair and dread. Well, that is impossible. Hair that is chemical free will always be healthier than one that has been permed or colored or bleached...but, you still need to routinely roughen that cuticle for hair to actually felt or knit together which is dreads. In my professional opinion, most people walk around with damaged hair.And it is enough damage that I cringe...but, this type of hair will dread like a dream. Hair that poses a difficulty is either well cared for or of a particular natural texture that it is not prone to tangles...such as, some Asian hair (straight, silky and coarse). First off, until you have been at it atleast a year, you can't say you are giving up because you haven't given it a fair shot. Second...stop the essential oils completely for now. Use the BS if you like but i would also suggest a method that allows you to rub your hair in the shower...like a dread bar. Also, I use ocean water every time I shampoo...I spray it on my hair after washing and leave it. Because it is the correct level of salt (nature knows best!), it doesn't sem to upset my scalp. Sleep on a wool sweater or wear your tam 50% of the time for awhile.Realize, that when you begin to see what may be a horrifying hair condition in contrast to your previous state...you will also most likely see true results in your dreading. You know I love you Kai...and I wish you all the best. But, I also know through my own experience that dreading can not be rushed and it is a long process for some. You just have to keep plodding along. I do believe that a part of the dread journey is also learning to get out of our way and accept that we can not control certain things and at times we need to let go of what we expect to get what we want. I was convinced of how my journey should go and i painfully fought what should be....once i just stopped...it happened Blessings Sister.

Thanks sweetie! I'll just keep on keepin on. I currently have sea water on my hair pending a shower. I am going all natural this time, no starter methods.

Thanks!! I just posted a new pic of how my hair looks right this second. Its a wicked mess! I love it messy! lol

Panterra Caraway said:

Good for you baby girl! You will get there, of that I am sure. People don't dread for no reason. You were called to the process because it was what you needed Hang in there and let your heart be happy (((HUGS)))

Kai Rayne said:

Panterra Caraway said:

I know that this is going to sound harsh...but, only becauseI feel likeI or SE have repeated it a zillion times without anyone seeming to hear it. When you T&R, backcomb, dread perm...whatever...you aren't putting dreads in...you do not have dreads, because you can not make dreads. All you are doing is roughening up your cuticle (outside layer of hair) and it is an illusion or preview of what is to come. I hear frustration consistently when the "dreads" come undone. When infact, you should be cheering because now your hair can really begin to dread. I have found that hair that is very silky and healthy has a great difficulty gettting started. When you use a starter method you are putting the hair into a temporary state of mild damage...which aids in knotting. But, ultimately the hair will return to a healthy state if you don't do something to continue keeping the cuticle "agitated" so to speak.When I started, my hair was extremely healthy and smooth. It took almost 7 mos. for me to even get a knot. I now know that a large part of that was due to my previous healthy habits, but also becauseI was convinced that I could maintain the same level of health in my hair and dread. Well, that is impossible. Hair that is chemical free will always be healthier than one that has been permed or colored or bleached...but, you still need to routinely roughen that cuticle for hair to actually felt or knit together which is dreads. In my professional opinion, most people walk around with damaged hair.And it is enough damage that I cringe...but, this type of hair will dread like a dream. Hair that poses a difficulty is either well cared for or of a particular natural texture that it is not prone to tangles...such as, some Asian hair (straight, silky and coarse). First off, until you have been at it atleast a year, you can't say you are giving up because you haven't given it a fair shot. Second...stop the essential oils completely for now. Use the BS if you like but i would also suggest a method that allows you to rub your hair in the shower...like a dread bar. Also, I use ocean water every time I shampoo...I spray it on my hair after washing and leave it. Because it is the correct level of salt (nature knows best!), it doesn't sem to upset my scalp. Sleep on a wool sweater or wear your tam 50% of the time for awhile.Realize, that when you begin to see what may be a horrifying hair condition in contrast to your previous state...you will also most likely see true results in your dreading. You know I love you Kai...and I wish you all the best. But, I also know through my own experience that dreading can not be rushed and it is a long process for some. You just have to keep plodding along. I do believe that a part of the dread journey is also learning to get out of our way and accept that we can not control certain things and at times we need to let go of what we expect to get what we want. I was convinced of how my journey should go and i painfully fought what should be....once i just stopped...it happened Blessings Sister.

Thanks sweetie! I'll just keep on keepin on. I currently have sea water on my hair pending a shower. I am going all natural this time, no starter methods.