Nameste,
My 8 year old has been asking to have her hair dreaded and I'm on the fence about it. Children aren't the best at committing to something and the chances of her changing her mind are good. On the other hand it might be a valuable experience for her. What do you guys think?
On a whole, I'm completely against kids with locks. Sure they're adorable. But that's not the issue. Kids under about 10 years old just don't have the cognitive ability to understand choices and decisions. Even when they say they "want" something, they don't necessarily understand it, nor have they given it any real thought. So succumbing to their unthought out request is almost mean and selfish.
But that said, you know your kid. At 8, they are getting close to that age where they can think for themselves an make cognitive decisions. If you think they are able to really understand what goes into having and growing locks, let them.
I would recommend that you sit down with them, one day, and explain what goes into it. How they will have to wash their hair regularly. How people will make fun of them at school, and on the street. How they won't look like yours for a long time. Kids see time passing differently than your or I do. Tell you that something will take a year gives you a real sense of the process. Kids, generally, don't understand how long a year really is. They haven't lived as many of them to get a real grasp of it.
Now, are you ready for it? Are you ready to have people look at you like you're a terrible parent? People staring at your locks and judging is one thing. You can shrug it off and say they don't know you. While you should be able to have the same reaction when they insult you for letting your kids hair go crazy, it can have a different emotional effect. People are no longer judging you for you. They are judging you for the care you give to another person.
So if you think your kid is ready, and you think you are ready, do it. But don't do it if it's just because you think it's cute that your kid want's locks.
I'd even say to tell them to wait a month, and ask again. If they really want them then, they might be ready. If they forget about it, and don't ask again, don't bring it up. They've forgotten, and obviously weren't quite ready yet
Currently we are at a wait and see stage. We will be moving to India in Jan. and the significance of dreads and the view on dreads is different all around so I'm not too concerned about the social stigma.
I totally agree with regard to waiting and if its still an interest then pursuing it. I first had dreads at 12 years old and changed my mind and cut them off after a year. Years later after committing my life to the teachings of Vedanta, spending a lot of time in India and understanding the significance of having dreads I decided to do it again, now as a representation of the way I live my life. I'll wait it out and see if it comes up again. But all and all I want her to feel like she can express who she is throughout her journey of discovery.
I just started my son's dreads like a week or so ago . He is three . I have never cut his hair and it is past his shoulders . He has never cared for his hair to be brushed anyway . Yeah his hair has been going crazy I let it naturally section some then tnr the sections a little bit . I decided to do it because he has very curly hair and I have to brush dreads out of it every day . He definitely knows I am doing his hair like mine because the other day when I was pulling some of them appart he grabbed one of his own dreads and said ,"hair like mommy" with a big smile on his face. Do I think he understands them no , but do kids understand why you cut and brush their hair or style it the way you want ? I don't think so .I do think waiting forher to ask again may be a good idea . all in all you are the parent . I believe it is the way hair should naturally be because what came first the hair or the comb ? I would make sure she knows the easiest way to go back to normal hair if she doesn't want them is the cut her hair off though so it will be pretty short
