New guy: Just looking for support

I started the natural dread process roughly one month ago and prior to that I viewed this site up and down to absorb everything possible and have finally decided to join.

updated by @derek-z: 01/13/15 09:40:47PM

brother, welcome to the community, and more importantly welcome to your journey my friend. believe me when i say that i can understand where you are coming from and what you mean. i was there not to long ago myself and still am (its a constant work in progress but youll see i was gonna get into some yoda deep talk but ill keep it simple man.

what i have come to learn in my short 14 months of locking is not only patience but also acceptance. i noticed a difference in the attitudes i receive from the same people on any given day based on my own true feelings on the matter, whether i accept it for what it is or not. if i hate my hair, think it looks like crap, then think others are thinking the same, you bet they are. but with time and as you watch the changes happen before your eyes you will come to accept whats going on on top of your head in a whole new way.

basicallyi would just try and think positive thoughts and dont be afraid to walk your own path stay true to you and you cant go wrong

It sounds cliche - but for real, patience is everything.

The first months progressively suck a lot less as time goes on. Your hair stays cleaner longer because your scalp is accustomed. Buildup issues start to go away as your scalp calms down, and so does itching. No buildup then allows for the roots to dread quicker.. You start to see real progress, more and more as time goes on, and it's second nature to be gentle with them and not touch. It's a slow start but it just gets faster and faster.

The best advice I can give is: make sure to clean your hair properly, don't fiddle with it, let it air-dry /w the help of a fan at long distance (hot air sucks), wear a bandana/tam if it's getting in your face OR if you're paranoid in public, but take it off before bed or going out in the wind. Most importantly - STOP caring what people think. The beginning stages of dreads is misunderstood by nearly everyone, can sometimes be frustrating, looks messy-confusing, and the anticipation/uneasiness of what will happen next can be difficult to deal with.

As time goes by, all of that casually fades away because the beginning is an INVESTMENT for the future and whenever you feel discouraged, envision the mature dreads that you'll inevitably attain. And surely, you'll be very proud of your dreads for all the heartache you went through to get them. And everyone will notice, everyone will see how bold and unique you are for having REAL dreadlocks and wearing your heart on your sleeve even with some of the negative close-minded opinions that will exist about the very idea of dreadlocks. And you'll find yourself loving yourself more and being stronger because of it.

Doing what you want to do, what you think is beautiful and healthy, and being able to spot negative people in your life simply from a dirty or confused look, is very empowering. When your hair is in a messy stage and you go about your business, you know right away who the people are that have good hearts and who don't. I think of it as a filter - you could almost call it a social experiment. It's still, just hair - anybody that can't see past that simply don't have the ability to judge you by who you are as a person. Rather, they dismiss you completely for something as ridiculous as not conforming to social norms and trends. Either way, it's only preparation for the same kind of looks you can get with mature dreads. Except you'll have a whole lot more looks of admiration.

Welcome to the community, brother!

a year from now those same ppl will be annoyed by how many people stop u on the street to tell ya they love your hair

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Both of you, thanks. Thats all i was really hoping for to inspire me and your words will help for me to keep moving forward on my journey!

Ha, Im guessing youre right. that is more motivation for me i suppose! good stuff. i like being annoying anyways. thanks for the laugh!

It's your head and your hair, plain and simple. You are in control of you, no one else has that privilege. If others don't approve of your mess, that really truly is their problem to sort out.It's confusing and stressful starting a dread journey. You become anxious and self conscious, even obsess about what your hair is doing. Getting over that, in my opinion, is the first step of the actual journey. Not ditching the comb or changing how you wash, that's the first step of the process. The journey begins when you go out in public and rock the mess instead of cover it up or worry what others think. One day you will forget you have hair, but you won't realize it for quite a while. Then one day you'll look in a mirror or someone will compliment your locks and you'll realize that you haven't paid any attention to your hair or what anyone else says and you'll be free. Until that day repeat to yourself 'it's my hair to do with as I want, they don't know shit'.Welcome to the community, enjoy the ride!!