Dread frustration.

Ok. I need some support since I've been frustrated with my dreads for probably the last 2 months. The shrinking and loops are just getting to me. I have one section of my hair that isn't dreaded at all and the hair is about down to my boobs, another 2 section that is half dreaded that goes to my collar bone, and the rest ranges from like 2 inches to chin length.

I did tnr but for the last like 2ish (maybe even 3) I wish that I had backcombed. I logically know that if i backcombed they would probalby be the same length, if not shorter, and that they probably would end up with just as many crazy loops... but i see all these people pictures of people who backcombed and they look better, and I see people who come into my work that have backcombed dreads and they look really nice, even at 3 months (this one girl came in) and she didn't use wax.

I might just be going through another stage. But I'm seriously considering spending the 10 hours to comb out my dreads to spend another 12 hours to backcomb them.

updated by @aya-heartright: 01/13/15 09:24:31PM

I've had short halr since 2006 and I just don't want it to be short anymore.

Well hair only grows at about 1/4 to 1/2 inch a month. So no matter what you do, it'll take some time, anyway, to have it grow out. And locks almost always lose 1/3 to 1/2 the original length before they start to grow out again. So no matter what method you used to section them, you'd lose length, and it'll be that way for a while (sometimes up to a year).

As for the parts that aren't locking. How old are your locks? You say you've been annoyed with them for the past 2 months. I'm guessing that they aren't older than 4 months. They are still babies. Dreadlocks don't lock up at even rates. It takes a little more time. If you want to help coax them along, you could put beads on the sections that aren't doing much yet. Bead usually help move the progress along a little faster.

There are hundreds of reasons your hair is not as far along as others at your work. You could have different hair texture, oilier hair, shorter hair to begin with. It could depend on how over you are washing vs. how often they are. Not to mention what either of you are washing with. There is no need to feel that you have to rush along the progress. If it's only a few sections that are still untangled, that's not bad. There are people here, who after 5-6 months, are still not seeing any progress. It'll be a little while longer before you start seeing the majority of your hair locking up. And even after they start to mature in a year or so, you will still see sections and strands of untangled hair all over the place.

It's the nature of dreadlocks to just be messy.

why would u do that when your dreads are doing just fine/ would u destroy 3 months progr5ess just cause they are progressing?

loops and shrinking are signs of progress do u think it would progres faster if you start over? no

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

I tnred in November so they are a bit over 5 months.

thats alotta progress to lose just cause your feeling frustrated

now you can choose to be frustrated or satisfied

u can choose to compare yoir progress to others or be proud of your progress

you can choose to let it get u down..or lift you up

personaly i think its easier and more enjoyable to choose to enjoy the journey then to let it frustrate u

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Stop comparing yourself to other people. None of us is on the same journey.

That said, my hair is on track to doing exactly what yours is. I'm a couple months behind you. I twist and ripped near the mid-end of January. My hair started at boob length. Now some of it is still boob length and the rest of it is anywhere from my ears to my shoulders. I've noticed that the fatter dreads shrunk the most while the skinnier dreads are still hanging out around my boobs.

Ok. I just watched your 4 month video. Your hair looks fine! I was expecting random chunks of undreaded hair but it looks pretty nice and even as far as the shrinking goes...the long parts are all at the back! Mine is the opposite. Sides are long but the back is short!

In a few months your hair is going to stop shrinking and start growing. If you restart you will definitely be waiting longer for real dreading but you will also face losing hair. Even twist and rip damages hair. I redid a couple sections when I first started, only unraveled them after a few hours. I lost a good bit of hair. No problem for me and my thick hair but if you have thin hair you might want to avoid that. The dreads made after were definitely sadder and less thick.

Even backcombed dreads if left unmaintained go through "ugly" stages.Why do you want to go through that again?

Ultimately, what it comes down to is this...Are your dreads for fashion or spirit? There's nothing wrong with either it just changes the advice you should be listening to. If you are on this journey for yourself and your spiritual/inner growth...you will only be doing yourself a disservice if you undo everything you've done and start over. That's not growing. That's falling victim to vanity and insecurity. You have to move beyond those things in order to grow. It's not easy but improving yourself never is.

On the other hand, if dreads are truly just a fashion choice and you just want them to look nice then there's no point in "suffering" through this stage when you can start over and manufacture the dreads you want. They just aren't likely to last as long because neat and tidy dreads take a lot of maintenance and pretty much all maintenance does a lot of damage.

You need to make the right choice for yourself but I'm hoping you stay on this journey rather than start another one. Slap a tam on your noggin and forget about your hair for a while.

thats why tied up has earned guru status

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Thanks S.E. I'm just happy to help.

soaring eagle said:

thats why tied up has earned guru status