Introductory Essay :P

I've probably started my intro 3 or 4 times but never got around to finishing it. I blame my phone.

Anyhow, Hi!

I started my dreadlocks somewhere around 2 weeks ago. I had originally intended to just have a couple hidden at the nape of my neck. My little secret.

Then I added 2 more.

Then 6.

Then I just went crazy all over my head and now I have somewhere near 50 dreads randomly placed all over my head mixed with a fair bit of loose hair.

Because my boss can be unpredictable and I cannot currently risk losing my job I kept the top of my head un-dreaded. It works quite well at hiding things and my intention is to just allow the rest of my hair to dread naturally.

If I can let it.

The reason I chose to twist and rip in the first place is because I cannot keep my hands out of my hair. I haven't brushed my hair in something like 8 years and I've never found a dread or even the hint of one because I can't not play with my hair. Since birth I've always had my fingers in it.

My inability to let myself dread naturally is kind of funny since as a child I would have combs broken in my hair and would spend every evening after a bath having conditioner combed into my hair so my mother could braid it just to keep the tangles at bay.

My hope is that having the twist and ripped dreads in will both encourage the rest of my hair to dread and encourage me to stop putting my hands in there. I'm slowly getting better at not running my hands through my hair but now I'm constantly fondling my baby dreads. I just can't seem to win.

I have a lot of reasons for deciding to dread my hair but I'll outline my main reasons.

The first one is that I find them aesthetically pleasing. I always have. And they just feel right.

I'm also lazy. I'm all about low maintenance. That's why I stopped brushing my hair in the first place 8 years ago!

Anxiety is another reason. My hope is that by inviting judgement with my dreads I can learn to deal with perceived judgement in other areas of my life. From what I've read and discussed briefly with a few mental health professionals my theory isn't completely crazy.

Related to that I am hoping to use the dreadlocks stereotypes to my advantage. Because I fit some of them quite well. My hope is that by advertising my inward self on my outward self so blatantly that I will be less likely to conform myself to the expectations of others. I do this far too much and it has to stop. I figure that if my dreads are on display I will be less able to pretend I'm something I'm not. It should definitely help with the problem of people being shocked when they find out about my more "dirty hippie" tendencies.

Another hard to explain reason is that I have always had a love hate relationship with my hair. Everyone else just loved it and I felt like they never looked past it to see me. Now I know that a great many people will still feel the same way and wont look past the dreads to see me but at the same time I think it will at least make them do a little more thinking about who I might be. Even if they do get the wrong idea. I just want to be seen as a person. Not just "the girl with the beautiful hair". I hope this makes sense. At the very least now I will love my hair more than other people do instead of the other way around.

Anyhow, I could go on and on about my reasons but ultimately I did it for the reason I stated above. They just feel right.

My husband is supportive. He doesn't really care either way actually. It's my hair and he's used to me and my hippie-ish ways. I love him. He doesn't even mind that I walk around town barefoot almost all year round.

My 2 year old son absolutely loves them. We don't brush his hair either but we aren't trying for dreads. We just don't own any brushes.We'll see what happens there...

Ultimately I'm really glad I found this site. I already knew I wasn't going to use wax or anything like that because I'm against using products and whatnot but I absolutely love the energy of the folks on this site. I first ended up on a different site and it felt all wrong. Not a community at all. The support you all give and the work many of you put in to making sure people get the honest truth about dreads is just fantastic.

I don't have any pictures yet but I'm already getting some fantastic looping going on on several of the babies. I'm so excited.

updated by @tied-up-in-knots: 01/13/15 09:18:45PM

I wish I had the time to go into what I really want to. I'll try to later.

But for now, Welcome to the community. It's great to hear you reasons for locking. I especially like how you're using them to help fight your anxiety. It will probably work. We've all had some ignorant people comment on our hair in negative ways. For me it was my parents and grandparents. For you, it might just be some random person in line at the grocery store. Good luck. A piece of advice: No matter what other people say, just remember that they don't matter in the large scheme of things. They would comment about anything just to start an argument. It's got nothing to do with your hair.

As for your boss, legally he is not allowed to fire you or do anything negative because you have locks. He may ask you to tie to up or back if it's a safety or food safety issue. In that case, jut comply, it's not worth an argument for something simple.

That being said, you might want step up you game at work. He may not like your locks. In that case, he might look for other things to get you on in order to fire you. It'll be your job to prove it was because of your hair. If you prove yourself to be the best employee, he'll have a hard time justifying his actions. I know it's a double standard, but it not unlike being a woman, or a minority at work. They have to work twice as hard for the same recognition as white men. It's messed up, but it's true.

Good luck.

what was the "othrer site" i can guess at 2 it may have been

1 odf which is why i made this 1 the other 1 was made by trolls and troublemakers i had to throw off this 1..lol

anywho

the mental health thuing dreads are therapy

absolutely

ive seen anorexia anxiety and self in=mage disorders even crippling ones cured well

some anxieties and phobias not so much but still helps

dreads are really healthy for the persons sense of self

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Thanks for reading the whole thing and taking the time to reply!

So far I think the only person in my family who will give me a hard time is my stepfather. But he's currently living in another province so I'm not too concerned about it. If anything it will give us a good reason to get into another "Hippie vs. Redneck" argument. We actually really enjoy those! As for strangers, I'm almost excited by the prospect.

As far as my boss goes I know he can't technically do anything but like you said, he could always find another reason. I'm actually having fun trying out different hair styles to camouflage the dreads. Can't hide them completely but I'm definitely enjoying not needing elastics to keep my hair up and out of the way. Considering the conservative older women I work with have yet to say anything I must be doing a good job!

As far as upping the game. Totally on it. I'm already considered a good employee but there is always room for improvement.

I do hope you find the time to go into what you wanted to say. I'm very curious now!

Baba Fats said:

I wish I had the time to go into what I really want to. I'll try to later.

But for now, Welcome to the community. It's great to hear you reasons for locking. I especially like how you're using them to help fight your anxiety. It will probably work. We've all had some ignorant people comment on our hair in negative ways. For me it was my parents and grandparents. For you, it might just be some random person in line at the grocery store. Good luck. A piece of advice: No matter what other people say, just remember that they don't matter in the large scheme of things. They would comment about anything just to start an argument. It's got nothing to do with your hair.

As for your boss, legally he is not allowed to fire you or do anything negative because you have locks. He may ask you to tie to up or back if it's a safety or food safety issue. In that case, jut comply, it's not worth an argument for something simple.

That being said, you might want step up you game at work. He may not like your locks. In that case, he might look for other things to get you on in order to fire you. It'll be your job to prove it was because of your hair. If you prove yourself to be the best employee, he'll have a hard time justifying his actions. I know it's a double standard, but it not unlike being a woman, or a minority at work. They have to work twice as hard for the same recognition as white men. It's messed up, but it's true.

Good luck.

"dreads are really healthy for the persons sense of self"

It already feels more like "my" hair. Like it's meant to be this way. So I can't help feeling that you are too right.

Even if they don't do much for my anxiety I plan on keeping them a good long time...forever if I have anything to say about it.

My favourite part of my dread journey so far is being able to wake up in the morning with all the fuzzies and loops going wild, looking in the mirror, and honestly being able to say "I look bloody fabulous!". Those days were few and far between before I started all of this. Now it's every single day. It's so empowering and I don't want it to stop.

As far as the site, it wasn't DHHQ but at the same time their dreadlocking ideology went against everything I was looking for with dreadlocks. Thankfully a video on youtube (can't remember which one) led me here. And now I do my best to lead others here.

soaring eagle said:

what was the "othrer site" i can guess at 2 it may have been

1 odf which is why i made this 1 the other 1 was made by trolls and troublemakers i had to throw off this 1..lol

anywho

the mental health thuing dreads are therapy

absolutely

ive seen anorexia anxiety and self in=mage disorders even crippling ones cured well

some anxieties and phobias not so much but still helps

dreads are really healthy for the persons sense of self