Standing up for your dreads

I had 3 month old dreads when I started dating my bf. He's really a great/sweet guy and treats me WONDERFULLY...but he really hates dreads. I decided to take them out for him. A few days ago, I came across a photo of me with my dreads....and I suddenly regretted it. I started crying because I missed my dreads. They meant SO much to me. So I talked to my bf about it and told him i wanted them back. We got in a huge argument over it, and he told me I was being selfish for wanting dreads, knowing how much he hates them. He said that they are an embarassment and that I'm being childish and acting like a rebellious teenager. Everyone has flaws, and one of his, is the fact that he can be a bit judgemental sometimes and anything that doesn't fit his idea of beauty, he considers dumb. I caved and told him I wouldn't do it...but after thinking about it...I decided to stand up for him. And now I've started my dread journey all over again! I just don't know how to make him see that I DO love him and I'm NOT being selfish. But it makes me feel really self-conscious knowing how much he's judging me.

updated by @knottyprincess: 02/14/15 08:31:31AM

Btw Hi I'm new.

Hey girl & Welcome!! How old is he? It sounds like he's being selfish, caring more about what others think and feel rather than what you think and feel. If he's young that's more understandable, but if he's older, be careful. We all enter relationships thinking we can change a person we love. Well, we can't. I guess you'll have to decide if your relationship is worth bending to his will in most, if not all matters. God Bless, Sweetie & hope all turns out right.

He's 21. I'm 22. He's usually NOT controlling...it's just this one thing he is being stubborn about. But I'm not letting him control me. Thanks for your kind words!

Hi, KnottyPrincess, and welcome!

I don't think any dready folk here are 'rebellious teenagers' (some of us are WAY too old lol!) and I'm sure you're not either.If you miss your dreads that much, they are way too precious and necessary for you to not have them. It is certainly not selfish.Sounds to me like you love your boyfriend as he is, yet he'll only accept you as he wants you to be. IMHO, your soul-needs are more important than trying to please a boyfriend with such rigid ideas.Your new dreads may him a chance to learn tolerance, but it's up him to take that chance.

Hugs and congratulations for taking up the dread journey again.

Thank you so much Hippiegal I will say, he is a trooper and has accepted me despite A LOT of baggage. So I think he'll get over this in no time. He actually texted me apologizing. :-D

That's kind of ridiculous. I would say "accept it or leave, I'm doin' me, sweetie"

Great! Look forward to seeing how your new dreads form.

KnottyPrincess said:

Thank you so much Hippiegal I will say, he is a trooper and has accepted me despite A LOT of baggage. So I think he'll get over this in no time. He actually texted me apologizing. :-D

From now on...that's what I'm going to do if he or any future guy I date has a problem.

Steven Wind said:

That's kind of ridiculous. I would say "accept it or leave, I'm doin' me, sweetie"

I'll be sure to post pictures soon!

hippiegal said:

Great! Look forward to seeing how your new dreads form.

KnottyPrincess said:

Thank you so much Hippiegal I will say, he is a trooper and has accepted me despite A LOT of baggage. So I think he'll get over this in no time. He actually texted me apologizing. :-D