METH HELP!!!!!! i need you guys

my best friend is what a docter would call a benge meth user. he doesnt use every day and sometimes he will go for weeks and moths w out using. his father came to me and asked me if i would help plan an intervention. he himself is not an addict and doesnt really know how to approch the situation and i have never done an intervintion or had one done on me but i know that being an addict and haveing pple confront you isnt easy and can feel very threataning. (forgive me for my spelling) i love him very much and its getting to hard for me to watch him keep doing this over and over. i have been doing lots of resurch but i was wondering if any one in here has had any expericance from either side. im pretty much to the end of my rope and i cant watch him do this any more. i know i shouldnt take it personaly but the broken promises and the dissapearing for days is takeing an emotinal tole on me. his father feels the same way. so wer going to see if we can get a bed open at an inpaticent treatmnt center and have an intervention. and we will give him the choice. i have a feeling that if he doesnt take the help his dad is going to kick him out,... and i know that i wont remain in his life for my own well being. for those of u who know me you know i have a big journy of my own ahead of me. but i cant just walk away knowing i didnt do every thing i can. so any advice and personal experiance is greatly wanted and apreicated. thank you.
updated by @earth-child: 02/04/18 12:16:30AM

i have talked to him in the past and he has had some issues. but thats no excuse to how hes acting. he has a fatehr that loves him so much and i love him so much and i have been clean for some time now so i know what hes going threw. but he just gets wraped up in pple that make bad choices and dont care about him. i think those are the pple he feels best around in a way because they dont make him think about himself and his problems they just give him drugs. they dont careabout him at all and i guess thats why i feel so much resentment towards them. becuase they took my best friend away from me and they donteven care about him. idk go to the worlds end and back for him but he doesnt want to talk to me ne more becuase just thinking about me makes him upset becuase he knows how much i love him and it makes him look at the real world so he pushes me away. im always very carful not to push myself on him becuase i know in times like these he will just run away and im afraid he wont come back or something will happen. i know him in side and out. i really think i know him better than himself and that scares him. its so hard he wont even talk to me ne more. i did get mad today because he blew off our weekend plans and didnt even let me know he want comeing and i missed a trip aroccs my stae to see my family becuse i was waiting for him. so i was pretty mad but hewont even talk to me. hasnt for 3 days. im devastaded and heart broken. sorry i dont mean to run on but it seems like all i can do is talk about it. and well hes the only friend i have and the only person i talk to about things so when i cant talk to him im pretty destrot. idk if ur married or if u have a bf or some1 u love very much, but hes half of me. i dream about what hes doing. i honestly knoew he wasdoing meth the first time 2 days before he told me. i had a dream he was using and he ended up telling me. he honestly part of me. and w out him,... i feel well,... like half a person. i dont know what to do. my family just wants me to walk away but i cant find it in myslef to do it. he does really shitty things to me when hes using but when hes not hes nice. typical story huh?

Shane Reinke said:

Have you expressed your concern to your friend before? If I was in your situation I would sit my friend down(when they arnt tweeking;becuz if he us on it he could get violent)

Tell him how much he means to you in your life. Let him know he's loved, and if he has enough common sense and cares about you, he will take your advice.

Goodluck friend, let us know how it goes.

Peace n Love

hes right ya knowu gotta just tell him whats up but tell him u are done he either stops the shit or loses everythung you his dad his home everything he throws his life away for a drugu gorra tell him hes got a choice either get help and have u waiting to supporet him through it all with a house and a life on the other side or he walks out the door slees on the streets and self destructs..tell hik that if he doesnt choose life and getting clean that u and everyone who cared about him is prepared to mourn him as if hes already deadhes gotta know this is it..no more putting up with the crap he straightens up or disapears for good or untill he does


--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

It's true. I dated a meth user years ago. And it's the same story as any abusive relationship, friend or lover, they're so nice when they're not being cruel. Being nice one minute doesn't excuse shitty behavior, and it's nowhere close to love.You have to decide what's right for you, and stick to your guns, because no matter how much you love your friend or want what's best for him, he'll continue to do what he feels is right for him. And don't take it personally if he turns down treatment or "chooses the drugs over you," he obviously has some things to work through on his own. Make your decision clear to him, and follow through. Just hope he follows suit in time.You can't be the one to decide another's life path, you can only hope that the one you love chooses a life that makes them happy, and you must do the same for yourself. Sometimes it takes losing everything to realize what you had, and I hope he sees it before it gets to that point. Best of luck, and keep your chin up

My mother started using meth real bad for awhile w/ her then fiance' she was 2 quarters away from a Doctors degree in psychology and just quit going, she left me at a strangers house stranded in the middle of no where for 3 months with no car, her own daughter. She took my car did not pay on it it ended up repo'd w/ out my knowledge! In the end the only thing that stopped her was her fiance' went to work one day (working construction) and his heart litterally exploded, he had been doing crack and meth and his heart couldn't take it, since then she's not touched it...sometimes sadly it takes very drastic occurances to stop a user

Em I know this may be late, and probably out of time but here's what I will tell you.When I came back, I myself became quite the alcoholic. This went on for well, I don't know how long, and I won't tell anyone where I was unless you already know. But the thing is, from my personal experience, I was ashamed and wanted to just run away. I don't know if this fits in with your friend or not, but it also might be worth a try to figure out if he is running from something and get him some help... The best thing for you to do with him is probably put him in rehab, or some sort of anti-drug program that won't allow him to run off any time he chooses and escape or return to his drug use. Some people just don't want help, I was that way for a while and if it wasn't for a sudden realazation I probably would have ended my life in a bottle. It's a shame, but meth is one of those things that is extremely difficult to get over. And even more so on your own. Help is the best thing for your friend. Any kind.I'm sorry my ramble probably didn't have much advice in it, but I tried to help. I hope your friend overcomes his problems and pulls through.Have a great one ya'll.

im just getting tired of trying to help him. if it wasnt meth it was pills if it wasnt pills it was coke or alc. hes an addict and im tired. i love him w all my heart and im just tired now. and iv done almost all i can and he is so mad at me right now and he is pushing me so hard out of his life. im so hurt. im not turning my back on him and when he ducides to get help i will be there for him. i will help him when hes ready but until then i physicaly and emotionaly cant do it any more. im just tired and worn out
Matt said:

Em I know this may be late, and probably out of time but here's what I will tell you.

When I came back, I myself became quite the alcoholic. This went on for well, I don't know how long, and I won't tell anyone where I was unless you already know. But the thing is, from my personal experience, I was ashamed and wanted to just run away. I don't know if this fits in with your friend or not, but it also might be worth a try to figure out if he is running from something and get him some help... The best thing for you to do with him is probably put him in rehab, or some sort of anti-drug program that won't allow him to run off any time he chooses and escape or return to his drug use. Some people just don't want help, I was that way for a while and if it wasn't for a sudden realazation I probably would have ended my life in a bottle. It's a shame, but meth is one of those things that is extremely difficult to get over. And even more so on your own. Help is the best thing for your friend. Any kind.

I'm sorry my ramble probably didn't have much advice in it, but I tried to help. I hope your friend overcomes his problems and pulls through.

Have a great one ya'll.

I know a few people who have gotten into hard drugs really bad. A friend of mine went who graduated a year before me moved away and I didn't hear from him for 2 years. I saw him walking down the street coming home from work one day and he told me what had happened to him. He moved away and got an apartment with a couple guys. He explained how he snorted coke every day for a couple months, snorted heroin for a couple months after that, got back into coke for a while. And the whole time he was smoking weed multiple times a day, getting blackout drunk at least once a week, and tripping acid at least once a month. He spent over a thousand dollars on drugs in a couple weeks at one point. when i talked to him, he had been clean for a month. at that point all he wanted was a decent job, a place to live, and a girl. He said he thought being fucked up all the time would be an awesome life to live, but he had to find out for himself that it wasn't as glorious as he thought. Maybe your friend just needs to find out for himself too.

i think he does want tochange. many times he has come to me and said hes so tired of getting high but he doesnt know how to quit. i too know what u mean about an intervention being bad. im one of those pple too. i had to learn form my own experiance. but he has a very strong physical addiction to any drugs that make him not have to feel ne emotions. but i also know he out of ne person i know in this world would react best to an intervention. and it wouldnt be a bunchof pple crying and saying we love him. it would be more like this is what your doing, this is how we feel, get help or get out becuase we cant take watching you kill yourself ne more. it would most likely just be me and his dad and maybe his cousin that hes really close too. but it wouldnt be a bunch of pple. it would be the pple he cares most about and the pple that caremost about him. i plan to try and get a bed for him at an inpacent rehab. hes has said so many times when he was staying clean how he wished he could but he couldnt ever aford it. but i can help w that. and i think he would get better. maybe he would refuse it,... maybe hes not ready to take controle of his life. but im willing to do thework and put in the time so he has the choice cuz i love him and want to see him suceed more than anything. and if he does say no which im pretty sure he wont, he had the choice. and then he will have no one to blame but himself wich alone can casue him to use more and harder if he refuses help. but i have faith in the lord and in him and faith in all good in the world that he will take the help. i have faith in him i always will.
Maxe said:

I'll have to agree with O'Callaghan, Jim the Kraken and maybe others..

You can't force anyone out of their mental addiction until they themselves are ready for it.

If the physical addiction is really bad maybe some sort of rehab will be helpful to get some distance to the drug and see things a bit clearer, without a constant physical craving.

I'm not a big fan of the interventions. I would personally feel such a happening was intrusive, disrespectful and condescending... not the optimal choice of event at a time where you're down. It might be different for other people though, where the sobbing family/friends saying stuff like 'we love you and miss the old you etc' will function as the boost/kick they need to break out of the mental part of the addiction, but I'm quite sure that it only works if the person deep down is tired of being an addict.

For some people it's a necessary life lesson to hit the bottom, cause in my view, the further you have been down the further you can rise afterwards ( if it doesn't kill you of course =/ )

Anyway best hopes for him and for you on your own journey!

updated by @earth-child: 07/23/15 05:05:02PM

ok well i dont know about him not being in danger,... iv seen what drugs do to pple. iv seen what drugs did to me. i agree,... my over comeing of my drug usage has been the best experiance in my life and i had to do it on my own. and he is comeing about. still not really talking to me but i did get this messgae from him,...which is a huge step from i think we can all agree on that. im not hanging my hat on that though. i knwo he has a very hard road ahead of him. i gave him a number to a 100 percent free rehab. its a 6 month program. so when hes ready to change he can do w that number what he wants. so now in my heart i feel iv done all i can for him and my self now. im at peace w the situation,... yes my heart still acks for him but i know he will get well in time. and i will be there for him when he makes that decision. but for now he needs to run his path and i know god is watching over him. he will be ok. im at peace and i have faith. hel make it threw and he will be strong in the end like the rest of us that have over come our drug aduse. thank you every one.