new to dreads- questions about orphan hairs, ends, and maintenance- and a big thank you!

So I've had long straight hair for a long time- some short periods with short hair, before and after some experiments with bleaching and dying (red, blue, purple!) but most of my life, long hair. It's been lots of maintenance as far as combing out the rats, once it gets past my shoulder blades it's brush twice a day and I don't dare go outside on a windy day with it unbraided unless it's been hennaed, or it'll be rat city. Driving wit hthe windows down? Forget it! With it tangling so easy I thought it might dread up fairly quickly with little interference, but after a month of finger combing only, I had strands but no dreads. I wash my hair with baking soda and sometimes an ACV rinse, but the main thing is I do it in the bathtub, not the shower, cause I have a chlorine filter for the bath but not the shower. So full immersion 2-3 times a week? Maybe too frequent for them to form properly, but right now I'm pregnant and I have to have my baths! So I started to get a little antsy about the locks forming because of baby coming in a couple months- I was really wanting to go to a more maintenance free hairstyle immediately, and not have to cut. I was worried about it ratting up in the back because I couldn't take time to separate it out often enough- and honestly, I'm impatient! And I knew I didn't want big dreads, so after a month of finger combing I sectioned it out as much as possible along those natural lines and ended up with about 80 locks. I backcombed these with a plastic comb, which took about a week doing a few each day. No pain except in my arms- it's hard to reach the back of your head!A little help from my 10 year old in sectioning the back, but I still ended up with some orphan hairs back there. Will they eventually work in? I'm seeing "put a bead on it" in some threads- what kind of bead, just push it on till it stays on? Would wrapping with thread work, or would that just get drawn into the lock as well? How about wool, I've got some wool yarn. Has anyone tried treating their locks with lanolin? I know it sounds like wax right? But it doesn't spoil, and it seems like a lot of the advantage of wool might be coming from the lanolin? Google did not reveal if anyone has so far!My other questions is about habits and maintenance. I've been amazed- I've had the locks all in place 8 days now- how much less time I need to spend in the bathroom. I didn't realize how much time I spent on my hair even with just finger combing and putting it up! I love being able to tie a few locks together or put a scrunchy in and being ready to go. But I'm finding that with the orphan hairs, that I'm worried about them bringing the locked hair together, I guess congoing is the term? So do I need to stop combing through the back to separate things, will that tear up the forming dreads, and do the bead thing? I'm finding that it's a habit I've formed to comb- so I'm gonna have to be really conscious to stop it!I also saw some negative feedback on using needles to weave in- I do have an appropriate size yarn needle and had used it at the beginning to weave in a few orphan hairs I found in the front- I really don't see how using a needle is anymore damaging than putting your hair up with bobby pins- as it isn't sharp and you aren't ripping through the strands of hair, the needle is smooth- even smoother than hairpins- so it goes between the strands? anyway, that had mixed results, one is fine, the other I pulled out as it was coming out by itself after a couple times wetting my head. We live close to the ocean so I've washed it twice- once after wetting down with seawater- and been in the ocean twice in 8 days. I hadn't planned on washing for at least a week, but after the first time I was in the ocean my scalp was pulling really tight, and I felt like I really needed to rinse out the salt and put a little ACV/water and lavender oil on- that soothed it right up!So, the ends- they seem like they are unravelling a bit, is it better to not mess with them? I had initially intended to crochet the ends up neat, but the combination of time spent and information was such that only a couple were done, I had knotted the ends by hand on the rest as I went along but after reading the info on crochet and seeing what happened to the ends when they got wet I went ahead and untied all of them. They are two to three inches long in places.I was so relieved to read the FAQ about palmrolling not being necessary, WOOT! Even less time on maintenance! Thank you so much for the time saver! And SO glad to have already found anti-wax info on youtube- many thanks to all who are putting the word out there about wax!Also loving the threads about releasing perfectionism! Thank you for any responses~Alisonwife to Patrickcrunchymama to 6(and a new sprout coming in November 2010!)~Santa Cruz, California
updated by @crunchymama: 02/14/15 05:42:38AM

ok well u absolutely woulda dreaded naturaly fast if u wenrt finger combing! finger combing prevents dreads as much as any combing willokloose haiers..ignore them! your a month in! thats it there is absolutely nothing to do now except seperate so they dont congo..5 minutes a week..in a year thats when u look at them and go wow they came so farfor the next year you are on vacation from your hair care you have nothing to do but take care of your 7 kids (did i just make that sound like a vacation?)seperate wash thats itlet it dreadhave a baby in each hand to keep those hands from that head..5 minutes a week not in front of a mirror seperate by feeltrack progress by how they feel when u feel them once a week


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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Wooooow lots of questions! Breathe a bit dready mama!Here's what I've learned about dreads in the 13 months that I've had them:1) Break your mirrors2)Find patience hobbies (things that take your mind off of your hair)3) No wool wraps during early months.... wool tams are great! But wool wraps will get sucked right into your dreads! Learned that lesson the hard way when trying to remove wool wraps in 3 month old dreads... yikes.4) Keep your hands out of your hair unless you're ripping dreads apart! It only slows down the progress5) Let them hang free whenever possible. All that extra movement is good for dreads.6) LIVE7) Forget you ever had hair (goes right along with that 'break your mirrors' comment)8) Bathe all you want, but try to space out your dread washings to only once or twice a week with either a non-residue shampoo or baking soda and acv. If using baking soda, watch how strong your mix is, lest you get little sores on your scalp from an overly concentrated baking soda mix... also learned that the hard way...ouch.9) Don't worry about shape, size, or how your dreads are forming. Don't bother trying to correct any of these things, or loops or bumps, ect. You lay the ground work (backcombing, t&r, ect) and let nature take care of the rest. Because seriously, it's out of your hands now.10) Dying your dreads in a pain in the ass. Enough said.I think those ten are good-enough for now. ^-^

uhhhh I use lavender oil in my washes and I use 15 drops in 3 cups of water. Its rinses out and leaves me smelling oh so good. And I get my hair wet every day, no ill effects Chewin Change said:

dude strands congoing with other strands = dreads... you probably had mini-dreads that were maturing and waiting to eat other ones.

and SE is right finger combing is combing nonetheless.

seriously don't bother with crochet, you're setting yourself up for failure because not only will you not see the results STAY PUT, but you'll also disappoint yourself mentally when you find out you spent all that time and it didn't work. after all, you might be thinking a week's worth of progress is good, but try not touching it. a weeks worth of work may be even better.. whatever works for you man. experiment!!

its vital to keep your hair clean WHILE spacing out your washings to let your scalp adjust. wait too long, and the oils will mess up the progress... wait too little, and the water running through will mess up the progress. it's give or take, and that's why the first couple months are the hardest because of how messy and oily it can get, with the results being ummmmm really hard to see. with my length of hair at the time, yeah very very hard to see.

that and you really should be observant to how well your washing process is working.. experiment.

the best way to look after your dreads is to not look in the mirror. what a paradox you might say.. well, for the record i look @ the mirror at least 5 minutes a day just to watch the progress. sure i think about it more often, but it's very fascinating . i'm takin it all in.

now... your scalp was pulling tight because sea salt encourages your hair curling, twisting, moving around as it dries. but putting acv and lavendar oil is not at all necessary. in fact it is hindering progress because acv is conditioning (you dont need that), and lavender oil is still oil. 1 drop isn't bad tho.

they WILL unravel, undoubtedly, especially since your hair is extra oily cause of the change in washing. that's why it's important to wash your hair thoroughly each wash, that way there's no buildup. dry hair moves around and actually has a chance to knot, whereas oily hair can't (obviously).. same reason why wax is worthless. of course, washing too thoroughly is also easy and by that I mean touching your hair too damn much.

don't think too deep into it.. you can't really control dreading other than using sea salt, wool, and keeping it clean AND dry. and when i mean dry i mean not touching water and also not conditioning.

Not washing too often prevents your natural oils from over compensating. The key word is washing, getting your hair wet is not washing it. after I even get my hair we and it dries, my locks are tighter and trying to gobble each other up. The fifteen minutes there are essential oils in my hair before being completely washed out are not preventing or slowing anything down.

My hair has plenty of movement when its wet and it is pretty much fry in 20 minutes. What I did notice is that after it gets wet it is a lot more locked up tight feeling. Water is not going to undread your hair in any way and the 20 mins or hour or however long it takes for your hair to dry isn't going to impede your dreading process. Even with that thought process, If my hair was wet for an hour and didn't move in any way, so thats one hour of not dreading. So every 24 times my hair gets wet i lose a day dreading. After the year+ it takes for dreads to mature do you think you would notice a few days of not dreading (worth of wet "unmoving" hair time). 365 days in a year, wet every day for 1 hour. 365 hours divided by 24 is roughly 15 days. After a year if I go "man I really wish I was 15 days more ahead" then I will agree with you. I highly doubt that though. I would agree that mold would be a increased risk if you werent drying properly.I swim, kayak, play in the rain, and get my hair wet pretty much every time I shower. No worries on my end. Chewin Change said:

as for the oils, cool good to hear.
and yes, not washing so often prevents your natural oils from over compensating but ALSO not to get your hair wet. if your hair is wet every day, you're obviously spending hours and hours waiting for your hair to dry. that, and i don't know if you noticed, but if you get your hair wet on a day you didn't wash, it's really good at transferring the oils on your scalp directly onto the hair.... if it was dry, you'd have more movement wouldn't ya.... you don't have to believe me, that's your perogative. oh well

u need the acv rinse after doing a baking soda wash. it replenishes the ph balance of ur scalp and dissolves and the baking soda. the chemical reaction on your scalp and hair are a necessary part of cleansing.

crazy it always worked wounders for me, thats strange but whatever works for u then use it all the way. every ones different

You need to use very little...u use like 7 cups of water right? I imagine in a pitcher. So after your rinse out the baking soda, fill that pitcher with water and just a 1-2 spoonfuls of acv should be enough to neutralize the baking soda but not enough to leave residue. Then rinse again with lots of water.If it doesn't work and not using acv works for you then maybe that's just what works for you Chewin Change said:

i know it wasnt directed towards me but ill try it again. i had unpasteurized acv maybe ill try pasteurized. acv caused greasiness for me.. theres some people here that dont use acv at all. ill give it a shot.

I'm also in the camp where I really don't see how getting your hair wet could possibly be detrimental to dreads forming. I only wash once a week, but get my hair wet every day/every other day in the shower and have no problems at all. If anything, I notice more knots after getting it wet (I tend to shake all the water out of my hair in the shower=MOVEMENT!) Wet hair still moves, AND, my hair has always tangled more easily when it was wet, so I REALLY don't get your reasoning, sorry.. The only reason that I've ever seen people say NOT to get your hair wet is if it's ALREADY wet, so that mold doesn't form inside your dreadies. Which is really not even an issue if you are just starting.And, if your scalp is oily enough that when you get it wet the oils "drip" onto your hair enough to make it oily, I would say you still really haven't found the right spacing of washes for your hair. My hair is naturally dry, so even before dreads I would only wash every 2-3 days, and after just 2 months I already have it spaced to once a week, and that's just barely when I start to get oils on my scalp....