Late introduction... That's so me

So hello everyone

I've been here for some weeks now, but since I tend to do everything backward (cause I'm a bit of a lunatic), I didn't even introduce myself properly. So here we go.

I live in the Province of Quebec, Canada and I'm a professional astrologist, herbalist and lithotherapist. It's been 6 weeks today since I started to grow natural dreads and I'm enjoying this journey so much. This was definitely one of the best decisions I ever made.

I've always been attracted to dreadlocks and knew I would do it someday, but I never felt it was a good time for it. I suffered alot in my young time, being abused by my pedophile uncle, then constantly humiliated at school because of my family spiritual beliefs. I grew up in a small town in the middle of the woods, and we were so different from other people there. Life was pretty harsh, but I had to endure it, no matter what. And I came to suffer from really severe anxiety and depression.

I did like it was nothing, trying to "be normal" and all. Moving, becoming atheist, going to school, working... and not listening to my true self. I should have see it coming. 3 years ago, I began to have extremely bad panic attacks for "no reason". Then I became agoraphobic and was totally unable to go out of my appartment. Because of a genetic condition, I'm unable to metabolize alot of chemicals, including antidepressants. So psychiatrists, psychologists and doctors told me I was a lost cause. And for some time, I believed them.

But I don't anymore. I know I was just suffering from the past I didn't want to see. I know I wasn't being my true self, being afraid that people would humiliate me again. I know I was not doing what I was supposed to do, not believing what I truly believe. So I shaved my head to get rid of my past, learned about Amma massage, astrology and herbalism, re-connected with my fears, sadness and anger, learned to accept them. Then I let my hair grow again and some time ago, I felt like I had mostly overcome my suffering. I had forgiven my uncle too. And I was ready to live an adventurous life full of love and compassion. With my true inner self. And dreadlocks seemed simply so natural at this time. So I let them grow, naturally, to show myself (and the others) who I really am. And I am now proud of the woman I've become. I still have anxiety issues, but I feel like I'm on the right path now. And my dreadlocks give me so much confidance.

I've returned in the woods where I was born to live a peaceful life with my husband (we've been together for 12 years now) and our two cats. I have a deeply loving family, amazing friends all over the world and I feel great. I have a blog, I take photos, shoot videos, sleep when I need to, cook, work in the garden, stare at the starry sky and aurora borealis, walk on the beach and find treasures in the sand. Yep, life is great

So hey, nice to meet you all. Love.

updated by @la-renarde: 11/13/15 06:45:21AM

see i knew i loved you

silly psychiatrists

oh you were molested/ hers a pill for that

ofh you xcant take the pill/ ok heres a gun do the right thing and kill yourself

all you needed..ever needed was to realize that what happened to you wasnt your faulyt and that it was an act of violence and control not love and affection you should get from family

it was simply a pathetic weak man trying to feel powerful by taking away the power of a sweet innocent lil girl

but guess whos got her power and strength back?

i know your not "fully there" yet and after something like that you may never be but u have come further then most would expect and your strong beautiful and free now

you can go outside without fear

you can take care of yourself and your needs

you are stronger now then you ever were

and now that yor dreading you will grow stringer still

we love you

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Hi, that sounds so beautiful you have found your path and live a happy life now....i can really feel it in your writings...everything is possible if we keep faithful and loving...so i think

@Soaring Eagle: You are so right. And I laughed so hard after reading the gun part, cause this is so absolutely and sadely true. Even though I know it now, when someone else tells me all this wasn't my fault, it gives me so much stenght. So thanks, you made my heart fell so good

@Lovey: I think so too Thanks for your kind words.

Wow, hard life. You've been through a lot and to come out through the other side and be happy with where you are is a beautiful and inspiring there. Life's a journey, and I suffer with depression and anxiety issues also, so I get what you mean about the dreadlocks giving you confidence. Even though you've been here a while, welcome

Oh Tara, I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering too. I'm sending lots of love your way and thanks for your kind words

Hi Ya. Sounds like you have a wonderful and understanding husband, for that you are blessed. Baby steps are good to take, little teeny baby steps. I am proud that you are becoming more confident within yourself, not by constant meds, but by allowing yourself to be you. It is amazing what growing dreadlocks can do for the soul. It sounds strange, sure, but it is so true. Somehow, we become at peace with our self. Perhaps it is by letting go of "being" a certain way for others, or accepting our self in the raw. But whatever the reason is, it works. Life is adaptable, we just live it in a way that suits us fine, each of us in a different way, a different speed. You are evolving into a relaxed woman who will glide through life in her own beautiful way. I hope that you share many of your photos you take with us, I know I would love to see them. .....peace

Wow. What a story. I'd have to say it's probably best that your body doesn't metabolize chemicals, I wouldn't want them in me. My mother has to get a shot every two weeks because orally, they do not affect her either. I will have to check out your blog; It sounds like you're living the life we wish we were. Soaring Eagle could not be more right about big pharma and their drug pushers, well said. Welcome! We are newbies too.

@Barellady: Your full of wisdom words made me feel so incredibly good. I really felt like you totally understand what I mean when talking about how dreadlocks are changing me. Thanks.

@SimpleSpiveys: Are the two of you growing dreads together? I really like your website and I'm glad to see your into herbalism too My blog is in French, but I'm thinking of doing an English version here on the site. And I totally agree with you about my chemicals intolerance. I think this is a blessing to not tolerate them, as no doctors can force me to take their pills. I'm so much better with herbs, essential oils, yoga and meditation.

Thanks for your words Noodle-Doo. I agree with you about my suffering and my harsh past. I'm begining to see it more like some kind of "blessing" now. Being on disability really was making me totally mad before, feeling like I was nothing just because I couldn't work. But I'm starting to accept all that's happened to me and I feel like I am very lucky. I mean, I may be sick for the rest of my life, but I can live simply, go with the flow of life, sleep when I need to, eat when I'm hungry, pet my cats as I please, give some of my time to help people who need it without all the money stuff behind it, take pictures, play guitare... I mean, people who can do this are really lucky, and I am one of them. I believe we have a mission (or many missions) to accomplish in our life, and maybe mine is simply not one that can be done within the standard way of life of the occidental world. I firmly believe our needs are always met, as long as we let the universe guide us. I just need to learn to let go of all those not really benefiting social standards, let go of false conceptions. Just let go and let the flow guide me. And my dreadlocks are totally helping me do that. I'm so glad I've found this community. Love.

updated by @la-renarde: 07/23/15 04:42:33PM